Yesterday, I asked the Bitmob community to ruin my Friday with a Sega CD game. You guys happily obliged and chose Wirehead. As you're about to see, it's terrible --I mean, this game is really, really bad. I now have intense feelings of dislike toward each and every one of you who voted for me to play this FMV nightmare.

I'll be updating this story for the rest of Friday to bring you every stinking detail on this debacle of a game.

And now, I present to you my bad game diary of Wirehead:

Part 1: Remote-controlled dad, troubled scientist, FBI
Part 2: Skateboarding, bathroom sex, waterfalls
Part 3: Rafting, beastiality, and pig riding
Part 4: Jail, jail, some more jail, and then jail

10:30am -1:30pm
I spent three hours finding all of the cables and parts necessary to play and capture a Sega CD game. Perhaps I should have thought this idea through a little bit more before committing to it.

1:30pm
I just played 15 minutes of this idiotic game... and the sound didn't record. Oh boy, that means I get to play that part all over again and even screw up a few times on purpose so you can see how stupid the gameplay is. Fantastic!

1:50pm
OK, let's get this party started for real this time. I know this is a FMV (full-motion video) game, so I'm counting on lots of bad acting and very little action. Here's the beginning of Wirehead.

1:55pm
Ohh, so here's what we know so far: My kids can control me with a remote control; an Asian-scientist-dude is in trouble; those two totally-rad dudes probably aren't really in the F.B.I. It looks like this is one of those stupid games where you have to press a direction at a predetermined time in order to "play." Oh boy, this is going to be fun. Let's see what's in store for our hero.

2:00pm
Well, that was riveting. One mistake and I have to do the entire sequence again. That's so awesome! I should go to GameFAQs and cheat my way through this game, but I feel like cheating would somehow make this whole experience even less fun.Thankfully, I was able to use my supreme intellect to get out of house so that I could make my grand escape on a skateboard. I can't imagine the adventure that lies ahead… .

Go to page two for more riveting action!