10 Characters We Hate (To Love) -- Part One

Everyone loves a hero. But don't the villains deserve our adulation as well? What about the ones that don't quite make the cut -- characters who certainly exhibit hero-like qualities, but who also habitually contain some quirk or flaw? These anti-heroes wouldn't normally fall into the realm of grizzled protagonists who simply wish to be left alone -- I'm looking at you, Gears of War.

Rather, these sidekicks, these tired mobs of quest-givers and vestigial personalities fall into the fuzzy realm of tolerated acceptance, establishing memories in us that are just as strong as some of the most iconic characters of gaming.

Here is a list of some of the more marked eccentrics you may (or may not) have encountered throughout gaming history.

#1: Toad - Super Mario Bros. series

Let's get the obvious one out of the way first. Trundling living mushroom/royal majordomo/free kill Toad may not conjure up pleasant memories for those who simply wanted to save a princess, but it was downright creepy as to the very omnipresence of the little guy. Not only did poor Mario have to endure killer vegetables, reptiles, and plant life to save his beloved Peach, he had to have this jackass smugly inform him that the princess is being kept in a different castle than the one he's just slogged through.

Yet, like Sting albums, he just won't go away. Consequently, I can't help but to feel sorry for this helpless servant as he frantically attempts to re-unite with his mistress. I can imagine a tear-soaked Toad, curled up in the fetal position outside the vacant master bedroom, clutching at the last vestiges of his sanity as the yawning silence of the now-empty castle crashes down around him.

Thus, Toad retains his role as part of the core ensemble of Mario characters -- but that doesn't stop me from sideswiping the tiny bastard in Mario Kart.

#2: Raiden - Metal Gear Solid 2: The Sons of Liberty

Long-time followers of the venerable Metal Gear Solid series were astounded when sneakster Solid Snake took a backseat to new-comer Raiden in Metal Gear Solid 2: The Sons of Liberty. As the protagonist for the primary chapter of the game (the Plant Chapter), doe-eyed Raiden befuddled many gamers with his creepily androgynous appearance and disposition.

Ultimately, the inclusion of Raiden into the sprawling Metal Gear saga painted a broader picture for the adventures of Solid Snake; by having Snake's development occur from a third-person perspective, the audience was able to experience an alluring, unique angle to Snake's battle experience and expertise.

#3: Carth Onasi - Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Your first party member usually holds a special place in your heart as you progress throughout an RPG -- but Carth Onasi is different.

One of the more endearing qualities of an RPG is the lack of binding decisions, enabling players to formulate a unique gameplay experience through his or her actions. In Knights of the Old Republic, players determined the fate of the galaxy by enacting diplomacy or discourse throughout the sprawling storyline, culminating in an epic clash between good and evil that was triggered from your respective choices.

I can accept that my team will harbor discrepancies between my decisions and their moralistic view of the world, but I don't need to be reminded about solidarity and self-righteous crap every step of the way. Carth seems to have gotten lost from a Boy Scout troop; his goody, pious attitude can be quite grating when I simply want to swindle a merchant out of his money or lop off a few heads for not giving me the answers I want.

While still susceptible to occasionally acting as the good angel perched on your shoulder, Carth redeems himself during the closing sections of the game; developed correctly, Carth can wind up becoming a kick-ass pistoleer, replete with dual hand-cannons and some slick moves to boot.

#4: Louis - Left 4 Dead

The much-touted Game Director feature of Left 4 Dead brought forth a variable level of immersion akin to a true horror movie; with the slightest discernment of a player's confidence level, the game would instantly unleash savage infected hordes and brutal special zombies, straining the player's agility and wit in order to reach that sweet, sweet safehouse.

Equally brutal is the often laconic teammate AI that seems to have a penchant for making a player's day miserable, usually moreso than any zombie could. And none are more migraine-inducing than the deceptively optimistic Louis.

Stumbled upon a molotov stash? Louis is there with a greedy gleam in his eyes. Found some pills? Louis shoulders you out of the way and grabs them. Pounced on by a Hunter? Louis gleefully remains oblivious while you get your lungs torn out.

On the other hand, Louis represents the last vestige of society and humanity through his clothes and demeanor. He's only trying to eke out an existence alongside his fellow survivors; in the end, Louis reluctantly assumes the mantle of careless AI posterboy.

#5: Every Black Mesa scientist - Half-Life


Fans of Half-Life will know of the capitulating solitude that pervades Gordon Freeman's adventures throughout the Black Mesa facility. The poor doctor has only his weapons and various aliens to keep him company -- oh yeah, and those simpleton scientists.

In reality, keeping a cool head while your co-workers get eaten alive by aliens may not be quite that feasible, but that doesn't quantify the susceptibility to idiocy within these scientists that borders on the inane.

Gordon's eyes seem to be highly undervalued during his adventures, as he needs to hunt down one of these quivering eggheads to simply operate a locked door. Never mind the rocket launcher and other implements of destruction that Gordon possesses and conveniently forgets about.

It's understandable that the scientists can't hold a candle against Gordon when it comes to survival; then again, running down a laser-mine infested hallway while in a panic-induced hysteria really calls the hiring criteria of Black Mesa into question.

Comments (5)

Funny list. Toad certainly has fallen from grace since Super Mario 2, and even then he was only good for getting through that bitch dessert level.
Matt Giguere , January 22, 2010
Louis never wants to come to the damn safe room when not being played by a human. I hate that.
Brandon Van Haren , January 23, 2010
Louis is such a bastard. And I have to say, I like side-swiping that eunuch named Toad, too. Cool list!
Brian Shirk , January 25, 2010
Ah, c'mon, give Toad some credit. He was nice enough to give you the occasional secret star in Mario 64...

Also, Toad is my go-to character in the Mario Kart games. I always prefer the lightest, easiest to control characters; his super mushroom power-up is no slouch either.
Bryan Glynn , January 25, 2010
@Bryan- That reminds me -- Toad is hilarious in Mario RPG. When asked why he didn't stop a bandit, he says something along the lines of, "Because I left my bazooka at home, sheesh!"
Brian Shirk , January 25, 2010

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