Well, E3 has finally assed out, and is now over for a year.
This is good.
But hey — I used to love me some E3. Y’know, back in the days of The Wizard.
And I know some people that currently like E3. And it is, by all accounts, the most likely place for new games to be announced. And that’s exciting and stuff. But honestly, who would actually want to be there? Who would want to experience the corporate nerd-filth? Kids, I guess. Or maybe adults with a predilection for loud, obnoxious gaming. Or maybe you. And that’s fine… I just don’t get it.
Take a look at the following booth-babe photo, will you?
IGN had the following to say about this image: “Too much…to process…brain melting…*head explodes!*” Really? Is this head-blowingly hot to the gaming population? Outside of monster truck rallies and comic conventions, apparently there are not enough places to see pseudo tans, pseudo smiles, and pseudo breasts. But hey, these girls might pretend they like the games they’re suggestively standing around, so… that’s a plus? I get it: Booth babes + swag = sales; but the equation is too cheap and dirty for such a passionate community.
You can almost smell it.
E3 is all about coin. And I guess it works in its own trashy way. But I can’t help but wish for a more cultured and less bombastic E3. After all, other media gatherings seem to have it down. Film festivals like Sundance have a more gentle feel and approach, as well as a respect for audiences over the age of 12. Literature festivals like Wordstock are also Actually Suitable for Adults. These festivals manage to be engaging, rewarding, and yet somehow not really disgusting. See? It’s possible!
E3 did try a toned-down, minimal presentation in 2008, only allowing “industry professionals”. But Small E3 wasn’t better, it was just more minimal. It was still gross. There was still crappy swag, still booth babes, and plenty of noise-competitions from varying stages.
Maybe it’s just a sign of our times. After all, the major 360 and PS3 games at E3 are continually typical and cliched action/horror/FPS nonsense made for testosterone-fueled violence-obsessed gamers. Games with little artistic range or expressiveness in color, leaving us with empty browns and dull grays. Aside from spatters of cartoon-red blood, I saw little green, little blue, little orange, little life. I suppose the convention just mirrors the games, and vice versa.
Not that these kind of games are bad, per se. I’ll likely play at least Uncharted 2 or Alan Wake, and happily. But isn’t anyone bored of all this sameness? Imagine going to the new releases section on Netflix or a movie store and seeing nothing but Vin Diesel flicks and Saw sequels.
Granted, Nintendo wasn’t perfect in its showcasing, either; their decision to cater to the young, young crowd (and to feature Cammie Dunaway as a host) didn’t help them one bit: the thing came off feeling like a 6th-grade magazine drive promotion. Yet the new Mario titles were, at least, a treat for the imagination (and look! Color!).
I’m well aware that there are gaming conventions and such that are (slightly more) thoughtful than E3, but E3 is the big one, the one that’s indicative of the industry. And if that’s the case, than the industry is akin to a pimple-covered 14-year-old with Pepsi in one hand, pizza in the other, and a selfish void of a glare that says GAMES BOOBS ACTION.
Postscript:
Did you know that I have a twitter these days? Yup.
Pimp, pimp.
Kids are saying it’s pretty hot shit, this twitter.
Wink, wink.
Ooh! And RSS feeds! Great for checking up on nascent gaming sites.
Whore, whore.
