I would like to think I was a very open and gracious individual. Despite my own personal flaws, I aim to practice the virtues of temperance, humility and charity wherever possible; and I know that throughout life there will be pivotal moments that test how close we can stick to our own moral code. What I didn’t expect was to discover that one of the best forums to debate and test values is in the gaming arena.

I recently attended a “system link” night with my local gaming buddies. It’s an evening that happens once a blue moon due to the cumbersome preparation of having to bring our console and tiny screen over to the designated host’s abode. About a dozen guys and gals are involved so co-ordinating it is often a game of ping pong SMS but once it is done, laughter is had all round.

On this particular evening, Lady J introduced us to her new man who proclaimed himself a hard-core gamer. Who were we to argue against such a bold statement? At first glance, he was a really nice chap and the conversation flowed as freely as the licquer but he did have a habit of saying “you know, I’m really good” and by the 5^th glass, many in the party were eager to find out how good.

The game for the evening was Fifa 09. I must admit, Lady J’s man was good, really good! Hell, he was so good he even drew a crowed around his TV as the spectators and “next to play” watched in awe. Even the teams losing against him were in awe of the flair of which they were being beaten.

If it was a basketball game I'd do this to you!

With every goal he kicked and every free kick her scored and every trick he pulled off, he gave a resounding “did you see that!” or “I can teach you that later, if you’re quick enough to learn” comment.

He would thrust his hands in the air and show how many goals he scored in the first half or say something like “wow- I never scored so quickly before on Fifa!” He was a one man winning machine!

However as the night moved on, the audience grew less patient with Mr X and I don’t think it was the experience of “losing” that changed the atmosphere. What started off with “great we’ve got X in our team” slowly turned to a sense of secret mutiny. No-one wanted him on the team because everyone wanted to put him in his place or simply that when you were playing with X, he never trusted you to be able to do anything in the game.

You see, I think it would be safe to say we all like “winners”. If we didn’t we wouldn’t have our favourite team or player.

If we examine these winning individuals/groups, they’re often exude something greater than success – it’s the display of dignity in winning.

I hate to say this but X was a triple A-hole because he gloated so much and was merciless in his victory, even to his partner Lady J!

When I retuned home, I spoke to my better half about the experience and she provided a different take.

If you play a game, the goal is to win and she informed me that X played to win. Yes, in most cases I would agree with my better half, but amongst friends, when the concept is a “friendly match” should you not hold back the spirit? When I play with my better half, I do not crush her 20 nil and say “in your face!” when I know she rarely plays games.

I don’t know, when I play on-line I’m competitive as the adversary are not my friends and therefore, I play with the intention to win, but when I’m gaming with my mates and I know they’re not as good, I don’t play to win, I play so we can have fun.

But is that worse? Would I have left with a better impression of X if he let us win on the odd occasion?

My better half told me that my bruised ego has flawed my view of him and that if I did beat him I probably wouldn’t despise him.

I disagree. I’ve repeatedly lost many times to many people but I’ve never felt vengeful!

Within our group, we have a wide range of gaming experience. Some have twitch fibres nearly as fast as Usain Bolt and others are more like new-born babies when it comes to 15 button wireless controls.

But there is this silent code that I follow which implies “be great in the battle field, not on the training field” and the way X played, I felt like it was more about “Hey I rock and everyone else sucks” rather than “X rocks and we all know it. Lets have fun”.

In the end, if you’re great – dominate no matter what? Or do the values of temperance, humility and charity still have a place in the gaming forum?