Quell your fantasies of Zelda, Leia, and Peach, because on Friday, a 300-lb damsel in distress needs rescuing, and we're summoning the Bitmob community to rescue her.

If you've been too busy eating cake to pay attention, Fat Princess is a popular team-based title available via download from the PlayStation network. For $15 (plus tax), you'll have full access to this engrossing game of "capture the bloated princess."

This won't be an average game of Fat Princess, however. Members of the Bitmob staff and community will provide cover and assistance as you bear the weight of the princess across the battlefield. Jasmine Rea, James DeRosa, Mike Minotti, and Jason Wilson should all be present and accounted for.

As usual, you must be thinking, "How do I take part in this glazed, chocolate-covered fun?" Well, your old pal Omar's got you covered. Follow these simple instructions and you'll be hurling fireballs with the best of 'em:

1) Add your online ID here.

2) Prepare snacks and drinks. You're going to need them!

3) Connect to the PlayStation network at 5 p.m. PT (8 p.m. ET) on Friday and wait for an invitation (better yet, take the initiative and add some Bitmobbers to your friends list).

As the great Leeroy Jenkins put it, "Guns up! Let's do this!"