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When Gamers Experience Tragedy

100_0005
Thursday, July 29, 2010

Editor's note: In his latest musing, Mike takes a sobering look at what happens when real-life tragedy strikes in a game with an online social component. Mike, you have my condolences. -James


Today's games are great. The online systems in place allow us to connect with other gamers all over the world and experience a level of interaction unheard of in previous generations of media.

This is usually a wonderful thing, but these days it can come at the cost of a bit of sadness as well.

As a longtime Everquest player (I know it's old and unpopular...focus!), I have become friends with wonderful people from all over the world. The game enabled us to get to know each other on a level that is beyond what a lot of people experience, especially because face-to-face contact is nonexistent. Sometimes, however, these connections hit you in a different way.

 

A few days ago, someone from my Everquest guild died in a car accident. It's an extremely sad story -- especially since she was heroically fighting cancer at the time of her passing. A few years before, someone who I had worked with very closely passed away as well. It got me to thinking about how MMOs create a setting that allows real life to inject itself into video games. The first issue, and by far the most minor, is that we no longer have the considerable talents of the player at our disposal anymore. But more importantly, we've lost someone we feel close to, even though it is unlikely that our paths would have ever crossed outside of the game. How many times have you had someone on your friends list never show back up, and you just assumed they'd quit the game?

It really makes you think about how many people can use video games as an escape from a life that may be less than ideal. I know quite a few people who can't get out of the house due to illness and have become entranced by the social contact that MMOs offer. A lot of people focus on the addictive gameplay (and the sometimes negative effects that  has on players), but I think that we have some positive things to take from these types of games as well.

So this blog is for Leaha and Dibanya. I hope you know how you've touched our lives in a positive way. To those of you reading this, I'd like to invite you to add me on PSN: My name is MikeEQ. Who knows? Maybe we'll become lifelong friends.

Do you have any stories about how a connection made through a video game meant something special to you? If so, please share.

 
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Comments (4)
Alexemmy
July 29, 2010

I'm really sorry for your loss, Mike. It kind of sounds weird to say that, but it's definitely warranted. There is a perception of online communities and the relationships within them not being "real", but I feel closer to a ton of Bitmobbers that I've never met in "real life" than I do most of my high school friends that I still keep in touch with.

While I don't have any story of loss to relate, two of my Internet friends met and began dating. I always felt a little weird calling them my friends, but I met them in a street team for the band Mars Volta back in 2004, and we had a lot of fun joking in the site's forums. So when news came it was shutting down, we started our own forum and kept talking (Several of them write on the blog I started to this day). Anyway, the two that started dating met through that, and everyone could always tell they got along really well and such. Eventually he flew down from Canada to meet her in New York, and I guess it all worked out as they began dating, flying back and forth and staying for weeks at a time for years afterwards. Earlier this year they broke up, and as he told me about it I felt like my best friend was telling me he was getting a divorce or something. I'd known both of them the entire time they knew each other.

I don't really know where this is going, but I guess my point is that even though it always feels weird, I think technology has really changed our relationships and the social stigma has yet to catch up with that.

Jason_wilson
July 29, 2010

Mike -- I'm sorry for your loss. Has your guild done something in EverQuest -- like a memorial ceremony -- to honor your fallen friend?

Shoe_headshot_-_square
July 31, 2010

Sorry to hear about this! I haven't experienced anything like this (knock on wood), but I imagine it can't be easy.

100_0005
August 01, 2010

Thanks for the kind words gentlemen, and Jason, i'm trying to get a memorial together for her...it's really kind of hard because unlike real friends and family, there's not the same sense of collective mourning where we can go and pay our respects....in this instance, virtual friendships aren't as satisfying

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