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Mii: The Musical

Andrewh

Editor's Note: Uh...wow. Just wow. This really is worth reading (or singing along?) all the way through -- it gets better and better, especially toward the end. -Shoe


I am not sure how to explain the following, but I will try. I am positive that just about everyone has made a Jesus Mii on their Wii, but I may be the only person to fashion his Jesus after Ted Neeley from Jesus Christ Superstar (the best movie of all time, and I don't know whether that makes sense or is ridiculous, me being the stalwart atheist). Somewhere, there is a direct line from that to the moment I thought writing an entire satirical rock opera featuring Miis was a good idea. And with that quasi-explanation, I now present Mii: The Musical a tale of adventure, tragedy, romance, and betrayal.

A rough rule on reading: centered means singing, uncentered means speaking, italics are stage directions. Have fun. I hope.

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Dear Obama: Gamers Are OK

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Non-profit advocacy group Entertainment Consumers Association has a message for you...for the president of the United States.

From Brett Schenker, Online Advocacy Manager for the ECA:

Throughout the Presidential race and continuing into his Presidency, President Obama on numerous occasions has said "put the video games away." As a gamer and a voter, we're asking you to email President Obama to point out some of the ways that video games have empowered and educated you, as well as their power to build teamwork and make people healthier.

Write the President now, and tell him the real facts about our hobby, http://action.theeca.com/t/2858/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=2865.

We know video games can promote fitness. We know games can educate, because we've experienced that first hand. Video games are also not solely consumption entertainment as we're being challenged to create content for some of our favorite games. We're a part of the new global choice for entertainment and the community it's spawned.

Tell the President that this community is active, and vocal. Write him now, http://action.theeca.com/t/2858/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=2865.

We're asking you to speak out now and put a positive face on our community. Make sure to let the President know what we experience every day. Take a moment and make your voice heard.

If any of you have anything more original or clever to tell Obama other than "Brain Age is good...Dance Dance Revolution is good," please share your letter with us by posting it to Mobfeed (via your profile page)!

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The Dating Persona

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As many who follow the Geekbox podcast know, I date quite a bit for...well, for a self-proclaimed geek who's a regular on a nerd-fueled podcast named the Geekbox. But I recently had a bit of an epiphany as to why a lot of these dates don't end quite the way I'd like.

Nerdy Japanese dating sims might be sabotaging my dating life.

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What the Hell: Evony Ads Think We're Boobs

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We'll admit, we're suckers for titillating Internet advertisements: Free iPods, hitting monkeys, jiggling banners -- we fall for all of them (but you don't even know how many free things we've won!).

But recently we've noticed a bunch of ridiculous banner ads popping up across the Interwebz (and even our own site!) that even we won't fall for. You've probably seen them, too -- they're promoting what looks to be an online Oblivion clone entitled Evony.

Or, uh, so it would seem.

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The State of Videogame Podcasting: A Five-Step Program to Success!

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Editor's note: Omar's got some tough love for all of you struggling podcasters out there in Internet land. Follow his (good) advice and you'll immediately improve your broadcast. - Aaron


After moving from Canada to France I expected to be the victim of harsh culture shock. But after a few weeks in Saint-Germain-en-Laye, I didn't feel foreign in any sense. Nothing really bothered me. Not the lingering clouds of cigarette smoke, the street-side performers or even the strange language which everyone spoke.

This all changed on the first day of school. I stood by the curb expecting a big yellow bus to whisk me off to class, until my mother explained that kids walked to school in France. I was 14 years old and my parents expected me to walk for 30 minutes through the intimidating streets of Paris, not once, but twice each day. How would my wandering and imaginative mind occupy itself on the long, daily journey?

That's when I found out about The Hotspot. Every week, I would sit impatiently at the computer, waiting for the hour-long mp3 enema which Gamespot proudly served into the malleable, innocent minds of children around the world. From start to finish, there was never a dull moment. Rich Gallup, Jeff Gerstmann, and Bob Calyaco were so dynamic and entertaining it was strange to think that they worked at a videogame website instead of at a comedy club. They bounced witty retorts off of one another, analyzing and teasing the day's story at the same time. The trio possessed a chemistry which my friends and I were envious of.

I stopped listening to the Hotspot after Rich and Jeff left Gamespot, yet I still remember the silly recurring jokes which perforated each episode. The Hotspot certainly wasn't a pioneer of the medium, but it broke ground by demonstrating how occupying the sounds of three voices could be.

However, I've recently become very tired of videogame podcasts. Almost all of the series subscribe to the "Four Dudes Talking" format. They all seem to be discussing the exact same news and games, and in the exact same fashion, too. The same jokes are made, the same lines are uttered -- it's difficult to convince myself that any of the broadcasts are unique in any real way. I listen to them when I've got little else to do, or when I'm going to bed.

In light of the increased amount of unoriginality that's plaguing today's podcasts, I'd like to take a little time to spell out the numerous pitfalls that so many podcasters fall victim to. With any luck, the podcasts recorded after the publication of this article will be slightly less boring than those recorded yesterday and today.

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News Blips: Peter Jackson Halo Game Canned, 3-D Resident Evil Flick, New Bungie IP, and More

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It's a bummer to hear the Peter Jackson Halo game may be dead. But maybe this will open up other opportunities for directors to collaborate on a Halo project. Our choice: Lloyd Kaufman.

News Blips:

Peter Jackson Halo project gets teabagged. Looks like Halo: Chronicles, the Halo collaboration with Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson, ain't happening. Well, according to the dude who would have directed the Halo movie. But considering Peter Jackson is producing his new flick District 9, he's probably telling the truth. If not, we're never dressing up like a hobbit again! [Joystiq]

New Resident Evil flick will packin' the triple d's. Director Paul W.S. Anderson confirmed next year's Resident Evil: Afterlife will be shot in a whopping three dimensions. That means you might actually die when a zombie rushes at your face. That's why they make your wear glasses: protection. [GameSpot]

Bungie making stuff other than Halo? Haha, you're funny. No, really -- they are. And apparently this mysterious new game (for equally mysterious platforms) will have an official publisher soon. Probably a publisher you've heard of, too (sorry, O-Games). [Eurogamer]

Disney hates virtual Netflix parties, unhappy endings. 1UP discovered something interesting fooling around with the new Xbox Live update today: All Disney flicks do not support the new party feature. We sure hope this is a bug, because this is really going to ruin our already-planned Snow Dogs party. [1UP]



Got any hot news tips? Send 'em over to tips@bitmob.com.

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Videogames: The New Artist's Canvas

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Editor's note: I usually try to stay away from the "games as art" debate, but I enjoyed reading Joaquin's unique thoughts on the subject. I think you'll find this article rather interesting. - Aaron


The evolution of videogames, from their humble asteroid-blasting origins to their recent incarnations as million-dollar, Hollywood-esque escapades has been short, but nonetheless magnificently prolific. However, it is not big name blockbuster titles that will ultimately push the medium forward. It will be the independents, the developers small on finance and large on passion who will test the borders on what we consider a videogame and challenge the world’s definition of what is considered "art."

Over the last few years, game creators like Jenova Chen of Flower and Flow fame have become the voices of a new generation of artists navigating the canvas of this ever-changing medium. In his now well publicized thesis (adapted from the writing of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) Chen mused on the importance of “flow” defined in videogames as "... the feeling of complete and energized focus in an activity, with a high level of enjoyment and fulfillment."

According to Jenova Chen a videogame must have three attributes:

1. Be intrinsically rewarding

2. Possess the proper amount of challenge based on player ability

3. Have a sense of personal control over the game activity

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Video Blips: Halo Legends, Command and Conquer 4, Borderlands, and More

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We can't wait for Halo Legends. We're just a little bummed they didn't hire the animation company responsible for this classic.

Video Blips:

Halo Legends trailer weirdly shows no tentacle rape. Unrated version? [GameTrailers]

Continue after the break to see real people in a Command and Conquer 4 trailer, sexy claims in a Borderlands trailer, and Scribblenauts fun.

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Five of Gaming's Oddest Protagonists

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Editor's note: Brian highlights a few of his favorite non-space marine game characters. I'm glad this wasn't a strict Top X list or else I'd have to start building the case for Noby Noby Boy, Mr. Mosquito, maybe the Vib Ribbon rabbit, and others I haven't thought of yet...but I don't! -Demian


I've been playing videogames for over 25 years (yeah, I'm old), and in that time, I've gotten pretty used to seeing the same sorts of player characters over and over. Soldiers (both of the normal and super variety), spies, secret agents, space marines, mobsters, treasure hunters, knights, robots, lawmen, pirates, wizards, talking animals, average Joes, androgynous teenagers...they've all become old hat by now. But some games have thrown convention to the wind and come up with some truly original, interesting, and downright odd protagonists, and I'd like to draw your attention to some of my favorites (more after the jump)....

Sentient Unicycles from Space -- Uniracers

Uniracers was one of those games that I rented once on a whim -- the kind that you passed by in the video store, said "What the heck is that?" picked up, brought home, and were rewarded for your troubles by a fun game. Uniracers combined trippy, fast-moving visuals and a great soundtrack with a solid stunt-based racer that happened to have some of the creepiest characters I've ever come across.

See, instead of racing as dudes on unicycles, you race as the unicycles themselves, completely riderless and lacking any anthropomorphized features (like the eyes on the adorable Stunt Race FX vehicles), which makes them all look possessed, and/or evil. Upping the creepiness factor even further, if you read the backstory from the instruction manual, the Uniracers are a race of dedicated racing machines that were apparently created by a very bored supreme being who was trying to impress a goddess who "thought he lacked a creative imagination."

If the fact that we're dealing with a bunch of possessed unicycles that were created as some sort of cosmic pick-up line isn't weird enough, the manual goes on to describe how the very best racers will eventually be found and challenged by the mysterious "Anti-Uni," the Uniracers version of the Anti-Christ. Ooooooookaaaaaaaaaaay....

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Attention Potential Sexual Predators at Comic-Con:

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I only recently learned about "Nerd Shoulder" syndrome -- where trade-show booth babes get a layer of nasty filth across their back shoulder areas from days' worth of sweaty man arms drapped around them for photos. Our own Demian Linn has even witnessed these models discussing it with each other and smelling each other's backs with a look of disgust.

Well, someone break out the extra-strength Lysol and ointments for the gals in EA's booth at Comic-Con. Ars Technica found a flyer advertising a Dante's Inferno contest where showgoers must go commit "acts of lust" (aka more photos) with EA booth babes to get a chance to win a three-way date with two of the ladies, complete with limo and paparazzi. Hit the Ars Technica link to see the full flyer, and maybe let's get some scientists and petri-dish action on this to discover a cure.

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The Geekbox -- Episode 24

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It's The Geekbox, now with 200-percent more special guests. Just the way you like it.

The Geekbox -- Episode 24 (2009-07-22)
Wherein we discuss Burn Notice episode 3×06 (and series star Jeffrey Donovan's DUI), Wii Sports Resort, awesome old Final Fantasy games (and the FF4 sequel), Professor Layton, adventure games, MMO foibles, flying cars, the (potential) recasting of Futurama, why camping is stupid, and an interesting upcoming book from SomethingAwful.com. Starring Ryan Scott, Andrew Fitch, Justin Haywald, Ryan Higgins, and Jade Kraus.
Running Time: 1h 29m 42s

Zune link

Direct Download (right click to save as)

RSS

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Would You Invest in Gabe Newell's Idea?

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Editor's note: I don't mind ponying up for games, but I'm not ready to assume part of the risk of making them. Jon, however, appears ready to take Gabe Newell up on his latest idea: community-driven investment of games. -Jason


If anyone's going to shake up the videogame industry, it's Gabe Newell.

The cofounder of Valve and the man behind Steam and the seminal Half-Life series is no stranger to taking conceptions of how videogames (and their surrounding industry) should work and throwing them out the window.

In 1998 Newell's company rewrote the rulebook on first-person shooters with Half-Life, and in 2003 he topped this with Steam, the content delivery service that has over 700 games and 20 million registered users.

It seems that Newell's at it again with an idea on the future financing of games. In an interview with Australian videogame show Good Game, Newell expressed great interest in fan-funded game development.

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