Welcome to stage three of Bitmob's first-annual annual non-award awards, featuring such video games as Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, Demon's Souls, Noby Noby Boy, and Duke Nukem Forever, along with such alleged jerks as Edge Games' cease-and-desist enthusiast Tim Langdell.
This is the last edition of our regular Best ofs -- tune in tomorrow for our overall Best Game(s) of the Year, followed by the highly anticipated Best Worst ofs later this week!
For your navigational enjoyment:
Bitmob's Best of 2009: Part 1
Bitmob's Best of 2009: Part 2
Bitmob's Best of 2009: Part 3 (you are here)
Bitmob's Best Games of 2009Â
Bitmob's Best Worst of 2009: Part 1Â
Bitmob's Best Worst of 2009: Part 2Â Â
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Best Weirdest Game: Noby Noby Boy
By Suriel Vazquez
The way that Noby Noby Boy staunchly defies nearly every established gaming tradition is astounding. You play it with a controller, and you interact with environments, but that's about all Noby Noby Boy has in common with most other games. The only thing you're required to do is stretch -- but even stretching is sort-of optional since there's no penalty for not doing it.
Still not convinced that Noby Noby Boy is weird? You can eat the tutorial. Yes, you can eat the tutorial. Now that's weird!
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Best One-Liners: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
By Demian Linn
Stop me if you've heard this one before, but I'm hanging on a roof. "There's a guy above you, there's a guy above you!" My partner, Flynn, sounds a little panicked. I grab the guard and pull him over the edge. "There's a guy below you, there's a guy below you," Flynn deadpans.
Check Uncharted 2: Among Thieves' memorable quotes page on IMDB -- it'll at least stand up to the average Hollywood comedy. Games don't often make me laugh out loud, at least not on purpose, but wise-ass Nathan Drake and friends pulled it off more than once. He even delivers a satisfactory plus "your mom" joke involving an ugly statue (someone needs to add that to the IMDB page, by the way).
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Best Game that Fought a Trademark Jerk: Edge
By Rob Savillo
Mobigame's iPhone title, Edge, garnered a lot of press when Tim Langdell, CEO of the suspiciously inactive Edge Games, filed a trademark grievance with Apple over the game's sale.
Once the gaming press caught onto Langdell's seemingly shady trademark claim against the indie developer, the story blew wide open and became a major scandal. Langdell eventually resigned from the International Game Developer Association's board of directors, and Electronic Arts petitioned the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office to revoke a number of Edge Games' registrations.
If Mobigame hadn't stood up to Langdell, his shenanigans might never have surfaced. Although Edge is still unavailable in the U.S. and U.K., the game is currently on sale in other regions.
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Best Collector's Edition
that You Can't Have: Uncharted 2
By Dan 'Shoe' Hsu
Uncharted
2: Fortune Hunter Edition. It comes in a giant, signed box (much bigger than shown
below). It contains a life-sized Phurba Dagger replica (also much bigger than
shown below, a music CD, an art book, the game, and a code for a bunch of bonus
downloadable content. It went for as much as $3,000 on eBay. And most of you
can't have it, because it's not for sale in stores anywhere -- Sony only made
this ultra-limited edition available for specific promotional purposes.
It's huge, unwieldy, and took two months to get a copy after winning one. It's really not worth $3K, but if you try to steal mine, I won't be afraid to pull the dagger on you, despite signing an affidavit stating that I won't.
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Best Thrilling Experience:
Black Phantom Invasion, Demon's Souls
By Rob Savillo
You might think Uncharted 2:
Among Thieves or Modern Warfare 2 provided the
most thrilling adventure of last year, but those titles don't even come close
to the hair-raising fear induced by a simple onscreen message warning of a
black phantom invasion.
My pulse raced and beads of sweat permeated my forehead. Every second this phantom stalked my character immersed me further into the game.
I can remember few other game experiences as thrilling -- precisely because so much is at stake. The sneaky AI of X-Com: UFO Defense comes to mind, where death meant the permanent loss of a competent soldier. Similarly, Demon's Souls provides that rare adrenaline high.
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Best
Acquisition: id SoftwareÂ
By Andrew HiscockÂ
When ZeniMax successfully courted the development world's most eligible
bachelor, id Software, my heart sang a little. You couldn't find a better
company to get id. Why? Well, ZeniMax owns Bethesda, maker of in-depth, complex
-- and incredibly buggy -- video game worlds. Id makes technically amazing yet
dumbly superficial shooters. While we may not see direct results from pairing
Bethesda and id, on paper, it's a match made in heaven.Â
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Best of Blurbs (click on the title to read the full text)
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Best Embodiment of Less is
More: Splosion Man
"Open up the controls section of
the options menu in Splosion Man and you'll understand what I mean: every
single one of the face buttons is simply labeled "splode." Developer Twisted
Pixel managed to distill fiendishly difficult platforming into one button. The
result is one of the most elegant games I played all year." -Brett
Bates
Best Innovation: Knights in
the Nightmare
"No game tries as many new things as Knights in the Nightmare. It doesn't just put
a twist on turn-based strategy; it redefines what this sort of game can be." -Suriel Vazquez
Best Cancellation: Duke Nukem
ForeverÂ
"Think about it. If you gave George Broussard
unlimited money and unlimited time, what kind of havoc could he wreak upon the
world? Anticipating Duke Nukem Forever turned into waiting, which turned
into exasperation, and then, for most of us, turned into fear. Did Take Two
cancel a shitty game based on a shitty idea, or did they prevent the
manifestation of Cthulu?" -Andrew Hiscock
Best Cast of Characters: Uncharted
2: Among ThievesÂ
"With the best voice acting and cut-scenes
I've seen in a video game, Uncharted 2 brings its fantastic characters alive.
The game doesn't objectify Elena Fischer (my favorite character in the game);
in fact, she's a strong female character. Nathan Drake, while being a
typical action hero, somehow carves out his own place in the action genre with
his distinct sense of humor. Sully, the gruff-but-passionate treasure hunter, headlines
a superb supporting cast." -Trevor Hinkle
Best PR Moment: Crackdown 2 AnnouncementÂ
"You can't help but love Crackdown. It was the game that came with the Halo
3Â beta code, and while millions bought it just to get a sneak peek at
the new Bungie title, anyone who actually played Crackdown was pleasantly
surprised by how incredibly fun it was. The only thing is that a sequel wasn't
planned.... Microsoft quickly got their act together, and the announcement of
the game proved that they finally got it right." -Andrew HiscockÂ
Best Plot (That Didn't Matter): Professor Layton and the
Diabolical Box
"People do not play Professor Layton games for the plots; they play them
for the puzzles. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box tells a
halfway interesting (and surprisingly moving) story between slider puzzles and
eye-crossing "spot the difference" exercises, which is all the more
impressive considering the game would be equally fun with no narrative at
all." -Evan Killham
