The worst part about E3 has to be the 2nd week afterwards as the new game/system euphoria slowly fades away leaving room for the jaded cynicism to take hold once again. Thank god we have the weekly game releases to comfort us right guys?

Remember. Release dates are quite literally made at the whims of the publisher.  The following are subject to change without any warning.

Honorable Mention

F.E.A.R. 3 (Xbox 360, PS3)

Tuesday June 21, 2011
Watching the general flood of first person shooters that gets announced in every E3 has an unsavory effect of making you forget that the FPS genre does have its occasional title that TRIES to buck the trend. You could write off the F.E.A.R. as just another FPS, but then you’d have to dismiss the rather large elephant in the room. F.E.A.R. relies heavily on trying to scare the hell out of you.

On top of your traditional human enemies, F.E.A.R. also throws some supernatural enemies at you, and has the tendency to throw you for a loop once or twice through some pretty creepy visions. Many of which transforms the world around you as if the world has turned on its Nightmare mode on a whim.

This iteration continues the story of the thoroughly messed up in the head and god-like Alma, around whom the entire series revolves. Set nine months after the events of F.E.A.R. 2, Alma has gone into labor and will give birth to something that will supposedly destroy the world. You play as the unnamed character of the first F.E.A.R. who is mainly referred to as “Point Man.” He may not look like it, but he is Alma’s son. On top of that, he killed his brother, Paxton Fetel, in the first game whose now back as a ghost. That’s one Thanksgiving dinner I’d rather not think about.

Oddly enough Fetel lends a hand as your campaign co-op partner. Being dead, Fetel gets to shoot psychic energy, move stuff with telekinesis, and outright possess enemies. Point Man on the other hand only has your usual guns and grenades. Poor guy. Unfortunately, you can only play as Point Man if you’re by yourself.

All that sound good and all, but the developers seem to be trying to break the mold of your standard shooter through the four fairly unorthodox multiplayer modes. First of all, they’re all confined to only four players. No giant 16 man team on 16 man teams here. Two of these modes, Soul Survivor and Soul King, puts a twist on the standard deathmatch by introducing Spectres. They can be harmed by humans but not other Spectres, which will be important in the Soul King mode. In Soul Survivor, one player starts as a Spectre and has to possess a non-player human who’s wandering around the map. By killing other players, they become Spectres too. Spectres win when everyone’s a Spectre and lose when time runs out. Soul King has everyone start out as a Spectre. By killing a possessed body the Spectre is released and can be killed for souls. The guy with the most souls wins. Contractions mode plays like your standard Horde/Call of Duty’s Zombies mode complete with safehouses and entry points that needs to be barricaded. The imaginatively named F**king Run mode looks to be the game’s crowning achievement. A wall of fog with a face on it, appropriately named Wall of Death, is constantly advancing, and you have to keep running while dealing with whatever enemies that may get in your way. If even one of you dies, you lose.

The F.E.A.R. series may have gained notoriety back in the day for having a uniquely creepy aesthetic along with, at the time, a smart enemy AI, but horror just doesn’t seem to be the experience most people looks for in their FPSes anymore these days given the absolute lack of other shooters that offers it. Although the unique set of multiplayer modes definitely makes F.E.A.R. 3 worth at least a look, the scripted nature required to make a horror game may turn some people off, which is kinda funny if you stop and compare it with the much more successful and yet just a scripted Call of Duty series.

I’m pretty sure hell denizens don’t have genitals, but that still looks like it hurts

Shadows of the DAMNED (Xbox 360, PS3)

Tuesday June 21, 2011
Have you been playing Bulletstorm and realized that you just can’t get enough dick jokes? Thank your lucky stars that Suda 51 and Shinji Mikami got together and made Shadows of the DAMNED just for your sake.

This third person shooter puts you in the shoes of Demon Hunter, Garcia Hotspur on the path of a demon who has just kidnapped his girlfriend. Unfortunately for Garcia, the demon has retreated into hell with his girlfriend. What’s a lovesick man to do but follow it straight into hell?

Hotspur won’t have to go at it alone. He always has his trusty sidearm/former demon, Johnson. And the dick jokes starts here. Johnson can transform into three different, and upgradeable, weapons: A machinegun called the teether, a shotgun like weapon called the Monocussioner, and a handgun called the Boner. Yup, The Boner. Did I mention that at one point it gets extra long?

Shadows looks to buck the third person shooter trend and not have cover. Instead, it’s following the footsteps of Dead Space where enemies react differently depending on where you shoot them. In Shadows, the darkness will sometimes come to envelop the world that eventually drains Garcia’s health if he doesn’t get out of it or get rid of it in time. Here enemies become invincible, but Johnson can shoot a light shot which can light up lanterns to ward off the darkness or to at least stun enemies enveloped in the darkness.

Shadows has some very impressive names behind it. Both Suda 51 and Shinji Mikami have an impressive body of work, and this team up feels a little bit like a “dream team.” The question remain, does anyone beyond those that actually keeps track of individual names in the industry actually care?

Coming This Week

Tuesday June 14, 2011

Cars 2 (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, DS)

Well, now I know when Cars 2 comes out. Did you know that Cars 2 has less to do with racing and more to do with spying? Based on that premise, these games basically copies Mario Kart and replaces the Mario themed weapons with more spy car related weaponry like machine guns, missiles, and oil slicks. Odd as this may sound, Cars 2 stands a decent chance of being at least somewhat decent given how successful the developer for this game was with Toy Story 3’s video game.

Dungeon Siege III (Xbox 360, PS3)

Let’s face it. We won’t get our hand on Diablo 3 anytime soon. Thankfully, the gods of loot whoring has seen fit to alleviate our pains with alternatives like the Dungeon Siege series. With plenty of classes and customizations with loots aplenty, online co-op with up to three other players, and unique Dungeon Siege 3 features like special stances for each character class that changes how they play, Dungeon Siege 3 should scratch that special loot whoring itch that all Diablo fans seem to develop after having been away from the series for so long. Kinda makes you wonder what type of addictive substances were coated onto those Diablo retail boxes doesn’t it?

Gummy Bears Magic Medallion (Wii)

Are you ready for the most generic looking 2.5D platformer ever? No, you’re not. Seriously! You’re not ready. I’ve seen it, and I’m still recovering from it. The only reason I can still see is because I’ve seen plenty. I’m going to do you a favor and not post any screenshots of this hideously generic platformer starring gummy bears looking for some magic medallion and having to contend with presumably evil doughnuts.

DualPenSports (3DS)

You know the best way to make use of a single-touch touch screen? Make a game that uses two styli! This Wii Sports knock off, on a handheld no less, doesn’t exactly require you to use two styli given how the touch screen can’t recognize multiple touches, but supposedly it helps. Before you know it, they’ll make a handheld game requiring you to smell the images on screen and be able to describe it to move the game forward. Awesome. On the bright side, the game does come with two special styli just for this awkward occasion.

Petz Fantasy 3D (3DS)

Because taking care of fantasy pets, or should I say petz, is so 2010, Petz Fantasy 3D brings all the joy of raising a fantasy pet in 3 freakin’ D! You’ll care for your magical unicorns and pegasuses. Or not. Watch them transform into everyday objects to hide from your parents. Or not. Teach’em to breathe fire, fly, terrorize local hamlets, and become the next major boss on an upcoming RPG! Now there’s a thought.

Late to the Party

• Ferrari: The Race Experience (Wii) 6/21/2010

Huh. That F.E.A.R. game kinda sounds interesting. I never cared for horror though, but the multiplayer sounds really interesting. But I bet I know what’s on your mind. You want to raise a unicorn don’t you? Don’t lie to me. I can see it in your eyes!

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