Once again, it's time to get smart by listening to people who are smarter than us!

Busy weekend, eh? We married off a super-rich couple, killed off a super-rich bastard, and my parents were in town for a visit...man, I wish they were super-rich. Still, very productive all around. But after this double whammy of media overload, you know what we really need? More analysis!

"I thought the bride's dress was beautiful, but it needed more guns."

- Bayonetta, Bayonetta

"Hey! I also kidnapped Princess Peach on Sunday! What, that's not big news anymore?"

- Bowser, Super Mario Galaxy 2

"Men should not kill each other, no matter how evil. They should instead beat each other to bloody pulps over and over. This is the way of inner peace."

- Ryu, Super Street Fighter 4

"Dude, I'd totally hit that Princess chick! But only 'cos I hear the Queen's not into the handcuffs-and-shaved-pandas thing. Effin' prude."

- Mr. Game and Watch, Super Smash Bros. Brawl

"S0 PR3c10Us Wh3n W1Ll1aM And KaT3 K1553d. 1 n3aRly Sh3d T3ArS 0F 0il."

- Sentinel, Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds

"If it'd been a three-day weekend, I would've thrown in Gaddafi, too."

- Sam Fisher, Splinter Cell: Conviction

"Oh boy! I should've written down 'SEAL Team Six' and 'bin Laden's rotting corpse' years ago!"

- Maxwell, Super Scribblenauts

"Of course, William and I dated once, but his overbite and my anatomy simply weren't compatible."

- Lara Croft, Tomb Raider

"It was very romantic...but I'm not sure if I mean kissing on the balcony or the 40-minute gunfight. My dating history's a little confused."

- Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, Mass Effect 2

"C'mon, anybody. F**k with us. We got another weekend comin' up."

- Garcia Hotspur, Shadows of the Dammed