Most Infuriating Sound: Bill Gates' cackling
Congratulations, Microsoft. Not only did you manage to bewilder everyone with that bizarre Cirque du Soleil performance, you also caused the vexation of nearly every journalist at E3 by changing Natal's name to Kinect. Seriously, I lost count of how many times I heard myself and others saying “Natal -- dammit, Kinect -- looks kind of cool.” -Omri

Best Cause of a Heart Attack: Nintendo's hyperactive booth babe
Perplexing award, isn't it? Bear with me on this one. Nintendo's bombastic reveal of the sparkly 3DS was accompanied by a gaggle of semi-enthusiastic booth babes -- except for one.

When sampling the 3DS' amazing “augmented reality” feature (where the handheld's cameras affix real-life objects into a virtual setting), I was unexpectedly assaulted by the seemingly docile-looking female attendant (who had a Russian accent), who actually leapt out of her chair and loudly yelled at me to “hit the target!” or “dodge the dragon!” If this is Nintendo's new method of reaching out to meek gaming nerds, then they're either brilliant or sadistic beyond belief. -Omri

The Faux Celebrity Award: Portal 2 t-shirt
At Valve's press-only showing of Portal 2, attendees were given a plain black t-shirt displaying the game's name and iconic logo of a figure slipping through a portal. Unbeknownst to Valve (or maybe they did know, those tricky bastards), wearing the shirt was practically a hidden invitation to step on the red carpet.

I couldn't turn a corner without some show attendee praising me for donning such stylish attire, and I was exhaustingly wheedled on where one could procure a shirt like mine. Coupled with my “media” badge on a lanyard, this resulted in a lot of awkward staring at my chest. Now I know how women feel. -Omri

Best Instance of Engrish: Ninety-Nine Nights 2 demo
The director for Ninety-Nine Nights 2 said during his presentation at Konami's press conference that if you tried to play his game by button mashing, "You will be sucked." Finally, a game feature we all really want. -Mike

Biggest Jerk: Guy playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds
This one goes out to the guy who played me in MVC3. After I beat him during our demo together, the next person in line went up to him, expecting him to make way. Loser leaves is standard arcade protocol, but this jerk refused to get off the machine, whining that he had just got there. I had to be the bigger man and step aside. MVC3 guy: I hate you. -Mike

Best Slam Jams: NBA Jam
This one goes to me, for the mad dunks and jams I was pulling off in NBA Jam. I was playing as LeBron James -- the greatest basketball player in the world -- who plays for my favorite team, the Cleveland Cavaliers. Actually, I lost the game in fourth quarter. Choking is a great Cleveland sports tradition, so I'll just chalk that loss up to realism. -Mike

Biggest Insult (or Compliment?) to Warren Spector
During a roundtable event with Epic Mickey director Warren Spector, someone complained to him that the demo felt like a Scooby-Doo game. Spector had little to say in response -- it got a little awkward for a second there after that. For the record, I have never played a Scooby-Doo game. Maybe they're awesome, and this was actually a huge compliment. -Mike

Biggest Headache Inducer but for an Unexpected Reason: 3D Tron: Evolution Demo
During my Tron: Evolution demo, the batteries in my 3D glasses were apparently running low on juice. The developers said they only did "one pass of 3D," so I assumed that that was the reason why nothing looked right, and I was bit shy to ask about it. I saw most of the game's dark-and-neon-bordered graphics in double vision and was too distracted with thinking my brain was unable to process 3D images to focus on the demo. -Alejandro

Unlikely Edutainment Game: Mortal Kombat
When kombatants deliver devastating blows to each other in the new Mortal Kombat, the game shows an x-ray type view of the area being damaged, complete with breaking bones and damaged organs. I could totally picture this game making its way into classrooms to teach kids about anatomy. -Alejandro

Game Display That Could Have Most Used Headphones: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game
Half of the reason I wanted to play Scott Pilgrim was to hear new material from the chiptune rock band Anamanaguchi, who is doing the soundtrack. It became painfully obvious how puny the speakers on HDTVs are as I couldn't hear anything over the rest of the noises at Sony's crowded display. Well, I put my ears up to the TV, and I think I heard some of their new music, but it was kind of hard to play the game that close up. -Alejandro

The 21st Century Viewmaster: The Nintendo 3DS
One of the perhaps overlooked features of the Nintendo 3DS is the built-in camera that lets users take 3D pictures. Essentially, the feature serves as a high-tech Viewmaster. Nintendo adapts technology from the 1950s to the digital world, and the world goes crazy for it. I've always wanted to make my own Viewmaster slides, and the 3DS brings me one step closer. -Alejandro

Most Overly Sexualized Character: Mileena (Mortal Kombat)
I was fired up to see the new Mortal Kombat until I saw Mileena's fighting stance and outfit -- and then I just felt dirty. Her super fit legs and rear are accentuated by her constantly gyrating crotch...it almost looks as though she's having sex with an invisible person...while standing up. If the game sported more realistic physics, I'd expect her boob to pop out of her barely there bikini. And for the sexual cherry on top, one of Mileena's signature moves consist of wrapping her legs around her opponent's torso and giving them an intense hickey. -Alejandro