We don't do things traditional-like here at Bitmob -- you'll only find unique editorial here (uh...forget about this for a moment). So that's why we're continuing the tradition of our Non-Award Awards -- this time, for E3 2010.

What are the Bitmob Non-Award Awards? They're impossible to describe since...well, they don't necessarily make any sense or have any rhyme or reason to them. If the staff feels something...anything...needs recognition from our giant annual trade show, good or bad, we'll take care of it right here. (You guys in the community get in on the action on the last page, too, by the way.)

OK, enough talk about nothing. Let's get on with it!

Most Anal Game in the World: Gran Turismo 5
The Madrid and Rome city courses took two years to complete. Each. In Photo Mode you can see individual blades of grass flying in the air when a car puts a wheel off the track. Some of the cockpit interiors are so detailed that you can spot individual wires hooked up to the safety equipment. The horn sound is accurate for each car. Those guys at developer Polyphony Digital need to relax. -Demian

Best Thing about Motion Control for Hardcore Gamers: Head tracking
Both Gran Turismo 5 and Forza showed off head tracking in-game, which should be pretty amazing for us normal people who don't have triple-monitor set ups. And hey, maybe the flight-sim genre will make a glorious comeback.... -Demian

Biggest Tease: Codename: Kingdoms announcement trailer
OK wait, so, I see some guys, looks kind of like live action, they've got gladiator-type gear, and it's a 360 exclusive from Crytek. Need more information. What the hell is this? God of War clone? Real-time strategy game? Role-playing game? Gladiator-themed sports-minigame compilation for Kinect? -Demian

M.I.A. Award: Nintendo's Heartbeat Sensor
Where the hell was this thing, anyway? And then Ubisoft went and shocked the world by announcing the me-too Innergy Sensor! The "is my heart still beating and if so how fast" market is heating up! -Demian

This Can't Be Happening Award: Battle Tag
Laser Tag is back? Nope...I just checked, and it's definitely not. Someone should tell Ubisoft, though, because it trucked out Battle Tag for a bizarre demo during their E3 press conference. And Battle Tag is Laser Tag, except you feed the results into your computer and then it tells your Facebook friends that you still play Laser Tag. -Demian

Sorry, Can't Suspend My Disbelief: Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit
I tried, I really did. But when I see a Bugatti Veyron (one of 200 made, mind you) in police livery deliberately smashing into a Lamborghini Murcielago until one or the other is completely destroyed, my brain hurts. -Demian

That's Nice, but Bullshit: Star Wars: The Old Republic "Hope" trailer
Wow, did you see that trailer? Pretty cool, right (except maybe for the part where the guy blows up the thermal detonator he's holding, and it doesn't hurt a bit)? But The Old Republic looks and plays nothing, I mean NOTHING, like that. That trailer could just as easily have been for Tetris. -Demian

No Thanks: DJ Hero 2's karaoke feature, Rapstar (tie)
DJ Hero gave nerds a slight semblance of "cool" by letting them play hip-hop-infused tunes on a turntable controller, but it's probably not a good idea to let that same demographic take their turns on the mic. Rock Band, SingStar, Guitar Hero, etc. -- that's one thing. But I'm not sure I want to hear my dorky white friends pretend to be Snoop Dogg in DJ Hero 2 or Rapstar. Two turntables and a...let's just leave it at that, shall we? -Shoe

Most Unnecessary Trend: Franchise "reboots" with the same name
I suspect the game industry got a hold of some Hollywood marketing study that shows modern-day reboots of classic franchises (that keep the original name) make rich execs more rich. Or maybe the publishers simply want to fuck with all the game databases around the Internet -- they're making a mess of our tags! Either way, we hope this is just a temporary fad. (See: Medal of Honor, True Crime, Mortal Kombat, GoldenEye 007, Silent Hill, Twisted Metal, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit, etc.) -Shoe

Most Premature Excitement: Star Wars for Kinect, GoldenEye 007 (tie)
The crowd got really excited when they saw a Star Wars game for Kinect, but...did anyone bother to think about how that game will play? It looks more mindless and repetitive than most pre-The Force Unleashed games from that galaxy far, far away. More mindless and repetitive than a light-gun shooter like Lethal Enforcers, in fact. And this game should probably be on the PS Move or Wii anyways -- holding a controller for your lightsaber handle makes a lot more sense.

GoldenEye 007 elicited a similar reaction when it debuted at the Nintendo press conference. I will admit, from what I've played, it's an excellent shooter...for the Wii. But c'mon guys -- unless that is the only system that you own, that's absolutely the wrong response for such an announcement. I'd love to see the reactions when you ask your Halo: Reach- and Call of Duty-playing friends to come over for some not-so-hot four-player splitscreen action...or for their friend codes. -Shoe­

GoldenEye 007 for the Wii pictured here, in case you were confusing it with the Star Wars game for Kinect. Which is not pictured here.