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Time to roll up the ice. You don’t need to play any NHL playoff games this year, because Chicago’s got it in the bag -- according to EA Sports, that is. The company ran a simulation on their award-winning NHL 10, and according to the results, the 'Hawks will defeat the defending champion Pittsburgh Penguins in a seven-game series  [via Icrontic]

This reminds me of the 1996 Sports Illustrated cover that said the Super Bowl would be between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Green Bay Packers that year. It wasn't.

In defense of EA Sports, they do a little more than just predict Chicago winning the 2010 Stanley Cup. Video-game companies do simulated seasons on many sports titles every year. For this season, the sports-game juggernaut took the concept a step further. They conducted a computerized simulation using artificial intelligence that takes into account player ratings, line combinations -- even unpredictable occurrences like injuries and hot streaks. Sounds like it's time to take a trip to your local sportsbook! Check after the jump for video highlights of the virtual finals.

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This week's Reviews Spotlight pokes fun at Japanese blondes, examines the charm of a talking meatball, and starts feuds in the name of White Knight Chronicles.

For What it's Worth: ATHF Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
By Ryan Conway
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is, without question, the strangest show on television. The surreal, sometimes morbid antics of Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad require a particular sense of humor to enjoy. But because I happen to be an admitted fan of this off-color show, I assumed that a video game based on the property seemed like a good idea. Fortunately for me, Ryan remedies that assumption. Hailing it as "one of the worst games" he's ever played, this Bitmobber takes readers on a hilarious ride, explaining why Zombie Ninja Pro-Am is worth less than a cup of coffee. If you're curious about the show, watch this.

One of the Best Games You Never Played...Startopia
By Tony White
For a game that lampoons sci-fi legends like 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Startopia has gone relatively unnoticed by the mainstream gaming media. Tony explains that this BAFTA (basically, the British Oscars) nominee deserves a close look. From sly pop culture references to a challenging metagame, Startopia seems to have covered all possible bases. One question though -- what's a Turrakken?

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Modern Warfare 2 is an amazing and great-looking game. Still, quite a few of us miss the good old days of explosive side-scrolling action. Thanks to Pixel Prospector, we can all enjoy the fun only a platform shooter can offer. Introducing Call of Duty 6 (2D Remake)!

Although the game is short, you will control a stationary machine gun, take a spin in a helicopter, race around on a snowmobile and a speed boat, and direct a remote-controlled missile.

The developer of this free, 2D remake claims he may consider making the game longer and adding an online mode. After Activision dropped the nuke on Infinity Ward recently, this guy might want to worry about being their next target!

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At the time, I used the name "Bookman." I was well-known in my Counter Strike 1.6 community, especially as a sniper. Within the familiar confines of our server space, I made friends, sharpened my skills, and met new players. But last week I returned to our once-famous server to find it completely empty. Everyone had moved on -- the clan had separated and the server was a ghost town.

Due to their very nature, communities expand and deflate. Human beings either make a concerted effort to maintain social connections or they move on. Unfortunately, most online communities fail to live past their first anniversary. In fact, most multiplayer games don't maintain a fan base large enough to justify server costs. As the fictional antagonist in the film AntiTrust put it, "This business is binary. You're a one or a zero. Alive or dead."

The question remains, however, how do we prevent this death? How do we stop burgeoning online communities from turning into ghost towns 12 months down the road? Well, I have a few ideas. Here are three practical steps any developer can take that will increase the longevity of their game and maintain a decent-sized fan base:

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If the pollen level doesn't die down soon I might not be around to write the next Community Spotlight....Treasure this one as I attempt to pull through the haze of allergies and an insidious cold.

Pour One Out For Halo 2
By S. Robert Delk
This week marks the end of original Xbox Live support. Live radically changed online gaming and Robert remembers it best through the multiplayer experience of Halo 2. I never played the game with other people, but I feel for those who are losing their favorite online pastime.

Red Dead Redemption – Sandbox for Western Fans
By Michael Bradley
Michael’s anticipation for Red Dead Redemption manifests in an imagery-laden glance at the life of a merciless wild-west bounty hunter. I felt myself reel from the description of spitting through cracked lips. This is an absolute must read.

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Who, at one time or another, hasn't thought to themselves, "Life is fun and all, but not as fun as being a Grandma"? Adult Swim heard your pleas to go geriatric and created Turbo Granny: a game where you get behind the wheel of a station wagon and race to get your pills. If you're a fan of Spy Hunter, it's actually much more fun than it sounds [via Adult Swim]:

Produced by Pixeljam, Turbo Granny is one of the great 8-bit Reject games they have made including Mountain Maniac and Creamwolf -- games that look like they could have been released for the Atari 2600 but with 2010 action and gameplay thrown in. You go, Boomin' Granny!

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It's always good to see a guy who pretty much works exclusively on big, tough, manly-man war games can get a little dorky, too.

Robert Bowling, creative strategist at Modern Warfare 2 developer Infinity Ward, has an unexpected, geekier pick for best war movie (though it's a lot more obvious now that he points it out). He has a great guy in mind for his real-life Spec Ops partner that will make some of you giggle. And his favorite video game of all time doesn't even have any guns in it.

Let's see what Bowling has to say in our latest installment of 21 Random Qs.

1. Favorite game gun from outside of the Call of Duty universe?

Robert Bowling: The Lincoln Repeater from Fallout 3. Something about one shot popping the heads off some Super Mutants with freedom bullets from Abraham Lincoln gets me giddy.

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So you want to write about video games? You love playing video games, you love writing -- and everyone told you that you should do what you love, right?

If you truly want to break into the business, it's going to take some work. The Tutorial is a series of articles about video game writing that will better prepare you for what's ahead -- or help you figure out if it's even for you.

In the first installment, we'll take a look at freelancing, which will probably be your first step. Recently I've begun freelancing in addition to working as Bitmob's Community Manager. (See, it works!) I thought I had it made: free games that I could write about! Sure there was no pay, but, free games!

Within an hour of playing my first game for review, I realized that this wasn't going to be everything it was cracked up to be. Nothing shows how much work freelancing can be than forcing yourself through a terrible game. And this is in your future, Aspiring Games Writer.

But don't take it from me. I touched base with Bitmob's own Demian Linn, who has sent many freelancers right to the bottom of the review pile. Demian pokes holes in some assumptions I had (and you may share), while providing a dash of optimism for those willing to put the work in.

Andrew Hiscock: How did you find freelancers?

Demian Linn: When I was at EGM, I would hear about possible freelancers in a few different ways -- from my editor-in-chief, Dan Hsu, from other editors at our parent company Ziff Davis, and occasionally freelancers would email me directly. The conversion rate on that last one was very low, though; I found most of my reliable freelancers through my coworkers' word of mouth.

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Considering the weekly staff-departure announcements at Infinity Ward, it's tough to get a sense of the studio's condition. We all know that former president Jason West and former CEO Vince Zampella have flown the coup, but who else has joined them?

The staff at PC Gamer UK has updated Modern Warfare 2's credits to exclude the AWOL developers in order to make it easier to forecast the future of Infinity Ward and its prize franchise. Personally, I believe this footage displays the concrete effect of mismanagement and questionable business ethics above all else. Check it out:

By all accounts, Activision has thoroughly gutted the design, story, and animation teams, leaving a gaping hole in their wake. But hey, at least they didn't fire the receptionist [PC Gamer]!

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Just wait until you find out what you signed up for with Bitmob's terms of service....

News Blips:

British retailer Gamestation claims to legally own the souls of thousands of its customers. The company updated their terms of service on April 1 so that people who placed an order online that day granted them "a non-transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul." Gamestation pulled this prank/experiment to show that customers rarely read terms and conditions -- since the now-soulless people could have simply clicked on a box to opt out -- and retailers, in theory, could take advantage of them. They plan to notify customers via email that they will nullify claims to the acquired souls. Would you ever give up your soul for a video game? [Fox News]

The folks over at Penny Arcade are now accepting applications for their fourth annual Penny Arcade Scholarship program. They're looking for a college student who "will have a positive impact on the game industry" to give $10,000 to. If you think you got what it takes, make sure you're a full-time student and have at least a 3.3. GPA -- your field of study doesn't matter. So if you're studying law and want to be just like Phoenix Wright (or Miles Edgeworth), but for gamers' rights, go apply! 

No Doubt makes gains in their legal dispute with Activision over alleged Band Hero avatar exploitation. Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Kenji Machida ruled against the publisher's claim that their use of No Doubt's avatars is protected under the First Amendment as freedom of speech. The rock band is suing the music-game maker for a breach of contract after they discovered that their likeness was used in the Band Hero game to perform non-No-Doubt songs, against their permission. An Activision spokesman says that they plan to appeal the ruling. As to why anyone would want to play as No Doubt in a video game is still unclear. [LA Times]

Sony's planned 3D-enabling firmware for the PlayStation 3 is not to include support for Blu-ray movies when it comes out this June. TechRadar reports that the update is primarily for 3D games, such as Wipeout HD and Motorstorm: Pacific Rift, which are set to come out at the same time. We can expect Sony to add 3D Blu-ray support to the PS3 sometime later this year. This should come as disappointing news for baller gamers who were looking to drop $10,000 on a new TV but didn't want to splurge on a new Blu-ray player.

Got any hot news tips? Send 'em over to tips@bitmob.com.

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Editor's note: Daniel's entry for our Anticipated Games callout is also the game that literally changed his life growing up. His personal tale of living with LeChuck is an engrossing read. -Brett

The recent announcement that Money Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge would receive a special edition did not surprise me -- the success of the special edition for the first Monkey Island game led to many rumors of the sequel getting a similar treatment -- but it definitely made me happy. I wanted to shout from my window, "LeChuck's Revenge is returning it all its glory!"

LeChuck's Revenge has a very special place in my heart. I played it during a pivotal point in my life, and it left a deep impact on my sense of comedy and storytelling. It also forever cemented my love of gaming.

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For the record: Just because we're showing this Final Fight: Double Impact video does not mean we that endorse Mike Haggar, or any other candidate, for mayor. 

Video Blips:

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