Note: A few months ago I wrote a piece about the PSN outage. It got torn to shreds by an unnamed community of gamers. Against my better judgment, I decided against prefacing the piece with an explanation that it was merely allegory perpetuating the strange circumstance that occurred within Sony and among a variety of (fanboy) consumers. A few excerpts excluded, it wasn’t really meant to be intrinsically funny.

That said, here is this post’s note. This is a top 5 list. But more importantly, it’s a commentary on sequels and the role they play in this industry. That’s why it’s so long and that’s why I wrote it. Permission to read only the bookend introduction and final word sections... Granted.

I know what you’re thinking. “Really, John? You want MORE sequels?” Well, yes. I mean, if I’m going to accept the fact that we’re going to getting a constant barrage of sequels based on last year’s titles, why not hope for sequels to games from last decade (or further, even)?

The Video Game industry is a franchise-based beast. The only thing publishers want more than “the next big game” is the sequel to that game. Love it or hate it, that’s the way this business is. If it sells a million copies, sequels will come.

I kind of miss the environmentally disastrous cases Genesis games came in.

It’s always been the nature of the beast. When Sega released their Mega-Drive, they were clamoring to find a mascot that could compete with the likes of Mario. Their response was Alex Kidd, an adolescent monkey boy. Delightful. Eventually they introduced the upgrade, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Even in the 32-bit era, I remember reading in message boards that there was a concern over the lack of an official Playstation mascot. Who was it? Crash Bandicoot? Spyro the Dragon? Sweet Tooth? No one knew. The truth was, however, no one really cared.

Consoles were never sold by mascots, they were sold by franchises. If fate had played a different hand to Alex Kidd, and he was the star of Super Mario Bros., it would be Alex Kidd who would be the big guy Nintendo is synonymous with because Super Mario Bros. was an awesome, awesome game. Yeah, that’s right. I utilized the overused “awesome” two times in a row. That’s how awesome it is.

It’s true that there are some characters that have become mascots for their respective companies and I can go on and on about this, but that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here because I know how to fix Sega.

I was lying in my own filth the other day, and it dawned on me. Sega needs to use some Moon Atomizers on some of their franchises. That is to say, they need to revive some of those great IP’s that have been left on the wayside.

So here it is, The 5 Sega Franchises that can change the course of their future... According to this genius (albeit, delusional) mind...

... All opinion, remember. *smiley face followed by a flirty (creepy) winky face, for the ladies*

5. Jet Set Radio (Debut: 2000, Dreamcast)

Back when Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater was the bee’s knees (as the kids from the 1920’s like to say), everyone wanted a piece of the extreme sports pie. Meanwhile, the talented folks at Sega were hard at work with a graffiti-based roller-skating game that had an art style unlike anything anyone had ever seen. Jet Set Radio, on their new Dreamcast hardware, was a cel-shaded revelation.

Not only could you skate around a city inspired by all the craziness Tokyo has to offer while doing physics defying tricks, but you could tag walls and vehicles with graffiti. You had the option of using pre-created tags or you could create your own in the cumbersome, but somewhat useful, tag creator. The best part, though, is that with an internet connection, you could download porn pictures off of the internet and use those, instead.

After Sega became a third-party publisher, they released Jet Set Radio Future on the X-box. I enjoyed that as well, but they took out the download feature, which was originally one of the big draws for me. They adjusted the game play and streamlined everything. While, generally, not as good in my opinion, I still had a great time in playing it. It helped that the sequel was able to retain the funky vibe of the first game, complete with its crazy soundtrack.

With the current hardware, there is an opportunity to make the illest Jet Set Radio to date. Re-establish the ability to download pictures for tags and gamers will herald it as the sickest game ever. Total diarrhea, they’ll say... I don’t understand slang anymore, so sometimes I just make stuff up.