Best Xbox 360 Action/Adventure Game: Condemned: Criminal Origins

*Spoiler Alert, I will talk about everything in this game, it's old but whatever someone still might want to play it, hopefully*

 I think that it may be expedient for you all to know that I am literally in love with this game, and you are about to find out why you too should be in love with this beautiful game. First off, if you haven't played this game you need to right this very second, it came out around release so it's really cheap and really worth it, maybe I should start by saying this game has really great graphics or AI. Well the graphics were good at the time, not so much anymore, but that's not what makes a game fun, and in return the best game of its genre.

That's right folks it's time for a lesson in funology: graphics aren't what make the game, indeed they add to the game immensely and help create atmosphere, but the essence of any great game comes from many other much deeper sources than this. No matter what all your friends who incessantly talk about ZOMG HALO 3!!! BEST GAME EVAR!! or another common one. CALLS OF DOOTY RULEZ I GET LIKE 25 NUKES AND SHOOT PEOPLEES REEL NICE!!! I'm sorry that you have to deal with people like this, because every now and again, so do I, but that's OK you don't have to be shackled to the eternal mediocrity that is multiplayer gaming. Don't get me wrong, I adore multiplayer gaming but for an experience much deeper and meaningful you need to play single player games, I'm sorry but that's just the way it has to be, a multiplayer game CANNOT be the best of a genre, for this very reason.

Now, why did I choose Condemned: Criminal Origins? Why not the sequel? Well, to be honest the sequel kind of pales in comparison to the original, number two completely throws a lot of what made number one so great right out the window. For instance, in number one the term ammo conservation actual meant something, unlike number two where there is a whole level devoted to using nothing but a gun and totally going FPS on fools, for me personally, that was a huge turn off, but number two was still a success in my opinion, definitely worth a play.

So, what makes this game such a great success? I suppose I can start with the city itself. Metro city is  its name, and violent psychopaths are its game. You see, a big part of why Condemned is so great and makes you feel like you are in a world of forlorn despair as well as just all around bad vibes, is that in the game you are not some big beefy space marine from mars who shotguns his every foe in their respective demonic face, while you can shotgun your foes in the face which is always a great feeling in any game. Condemned breaks away from the basic formula of "oh no, it seems there is an infinite army consisting of -insert generic enemy here- and they are standing in the way of -insert unimaginative objective here- looks like the only way for me to survive is to grab like thirteen different weapons and stuff them all down my pants along with about 7,000 rounds of ammunition and explosive ordinance. After doing which I can run through a bunch of corridors and shoot everything that moves, and when I reach the end I can do it all over again, yay!" Am I right, or am I right?

Well, Condemned most certainly does not think that formula is right. So instead the basic formula for Condemned is "Arrive in an area that makes you want to walk backwards the entire time, explore said area for clues leading to the eventual capture of SKX (Serial Killer X) look for weapons, and if you find said weapons you receive about two bullets, but they will mean the world to you, turn a corner just to see some insane maniac lunging toward you from half way across the room. At this point it is time to promptly piss your pants and use those two bullets which will hopefully connect with said maniac. Watch some disturbing flashbacks, find murder victims etc." The formula makes for gameplay that will make you want to just lay down in the fetal position and hope that you won't have to deal with whatever it is that just made that noise in the other room. This all sounds like a really un-enjoyable experience does it not? Well it is in fact the best game of its genre, and I can explain in pain staking detail, if you dare read on.