The sea has plenty of fish, but none is so fine a catch as the Nintendo executive. Date the higher-ups, and the Big N will truly change your love life. Regardless of your gender or orientation, you’ll find an executive for you. Here’s how to reel that sushi-grade tuna in:

 

1) Show variety

 

The first thing you want to show your Nintendo executive love interest is that variety is the spice of life. When you first approach them, try an outfit in midnight black. Excuse yourself and return in a new ensemble in fiery red. After the third drink, come back dressed in cobalt blue with a huge Pikachu perched on your shoulder.

 

2) Show consistency

 

While variety makes a great first impression, you need to show consistency -- that you’re in it for the long haul. Order a gin and tonic, then order another gin and tonic...but with more ice. Then another...but with two lemon slices, maybe a lime. Then order another gin and tonic, but make sure it’s in a different glass.

 

3) Talk about your hobbies

 

You never know when boring hobbies will inspire a revolutionary product worth millions of dollars, and no one is more aware of this than the Nintendo executive. Some suggestions: knitting, skeeball, picking your nose in traffic, collecting stamps, collecting coins, collecting stamps featuring coins, coloring inside the lines, and waving your arms about like a maniac.

 

 

 

4) Spend big and be wasteful

 

With the Wii dropping off, the Nintendo DS in its death throes, and the 3DS turning into an unmitigated disaster, the Nintendo executive is looking for security. Demonstrate that you don’t mind spending the money on two courses that are exactly the same (but one has a bigger plate). Buy a drink because it looks great and you saw it on Oprah, take a sip, but don’t touch it again. Explain that the first sip was fun for a while, but you don’t really have time for the rest of the drink, and you bought it for when friends come over anyway.

 

5) Don’t commit

 

Above all, don’t commit. Explain that you are into casual dating, but you haven’t forgotten the hardcore. Tell them you are into men, women, and the elderly. Explain that you enjoy pleasing entire families all at once. And tell them you love puppies.

Above all, don’t commit. Explain that you are into casual dating, but you haven’t forgotten the hardcore. Tell them you are into men, women, and the elderly. Explain you enjoy pleasing entire families all at once. And tell them you love puppies.The sea has plenty of fish, but none is so fine a catch as the Nintendo executive. Dating the higher ups and the Big N will truly change your love life. Regardless of your gender or orientation, you’ll find an executive for you. Here’s how to reel that sushi-grade tuna in:

 

Show variety

 

The first thing you want to show your Nintendo executive love interest is that variety is the spice of life. When you first approach them, try an outfit in midnight black. Excuse yourself and return in an new ensemble in fiery red. After the third drink come back with in cobalt blue with a huge Pikachu perched on your shoulder.

 

Show consistency

 

While variety makes a great first impression, you need to show consistency -- that you’re in it for the long haul. Order a gin and tonic, and then another gin and tonic...but with more ice. And then another but with two lemon slices, maybe a lime. And then order another gin and tonic, but make sure it’s in a different glass.

 

Talk about your hobbies

 

You may never know when boring hobbies will inspire a revolutionary product worth millions of dollars, and no one is more aware of this than Nintendo executives. Some suggestions: knitting, skeeball, picking your nose in traffic, collecting stamps, collecting coins, collecting stamps featuring coins, planking, coloring inside the lines, and waving your arms about like a maniac.

 

Spend big and be wasteful

 

With the Wii dropping off, the Nintendo DS in its death throes, and the 3DS turning into an unmitigated disaster, the Nintendo executive is looking for security. Demonstrate that you don’t mind spending the money on two courses that are exactly the same. Buy a drink because it looks great and you saw it an Oprah, take a sip, but don’t touch it again. Explain that the first sip was fun for a while, but you don’t really have time for the rest of the drink, and you bought it for when friends come over anyway.

 

Don’t commit

 

Above all, don’t commit. Explain that you are into casual dating, but you haven’t forgotten the hardcore. Tell them you are into men, women, and the elderly. Explain you enjoy pleasing entire families all at once. And tell them you love puppies.