It is the great uniter of gamers: the sweeping dread that descends upon us whenever there's news that one of our beloved games is being turned into a movie.

It's bad enough we've had to suffer through "Hitman," "Resident Evil," "Street Fighter" and the various Uwe Boll atrocities, but haven't enough video-game adaptions died on screen to send a message to studios? We have to draw the line somewhere, right?

So I'm drawing the line at Mass Effect.

Tell me, how is it that they can cast someone as my Commander Shepard? One of the many reasons I love Mass Effect is that I can play as my character — not some buzz-cut tough guy, but a no-nonsense, well-proportioned woman that is all business ... except for a few close encounters with inter-alien species romance (she takes the helm, of course).

I've done what I assume the game developer wanted me to do, which is to create a more immersive experience by allowing me to customize my main protagonist. The effect of this customization was astounding. Whenever I saw advertisements for Mass Effect 2, I had no idea what game it was at first glance, because the star of the trailer wasn't anyone I recognized. And I'm always slightly annoyed when I figure it out.

It's sad enough that video-game adaptation stars never quite measure up to the characters we've spent so much time with (Jake Gyllenhaal, I'm looking at you), but I guess I finally understand my husband's reaction when he found out that the new Battlestar Galactica changed Starbuck into a man: dismay and denial.

So if the movie studio casts some buzz-cut macho man — I read a rumor that Matthew Fox was in the running — then fine, but it will never be Mass Effect, because it won't star my Shepard. It will be just some random sci-fi flick where the chiseled dude saves the day (and most likely "the girl," as well). Ho-hum.