Before Bitmob, there was Sore Thumbs Blog, a slurry of mostly nonsense posts from Dan "Shoe" Hsu and me (well, most of the nonsense was from me). We're talking Internet backwater primordial ooze here, where only the hardiest of web surfers bushwhacked to our blather.

I saw Shoe dredging up some fine old Sore Thumbs stories and reposting them on Bitmob to make up for staff summer vacations, so I figured I'd follow suit. And to start, a really old-school review of a DS game from a dear friend...

In my 12 years as a games-media writer, I’ve never used this most-hated cliché, but somehow it seems appropriate today: Fans of great games, rejoice! Ninjatown, a super-fun DS game in the same cutie-pie-strategy genus as PixelJunk Monsters, has hit stores.

This endearing and addicting game -- perfect for quick-session play on the DS -- is the first title from the realm of EGM alumnus Shawn Smith. Long story short, Shawn left EGM years ago to nab his art degree and (along with wife, Jen) create an arty, plush-toy kingdom called Shawnimals. Ninjatown is based on characters from this universe.

I’ve played the game -- in fact, Shoe and I were tapped for feedback earlier in the development process -- and I can honestly say it’s a fun and engaging strategy experience. Of course, why would you take my word? Shawn, Shoe, and I are more than just former coworkers; we’re old pals.

Shawn and I were even roommates for a few years. And let’s not forget that time he jumped on a chemical weapon to save Shoe and I back in Gulf War I. Friend-saving accomplished.

Point is, no way in hell Shoe and I could offer an unbiased review of Ninjatown. We’re too close to the story, dammit! So we did the only logical thing: Buried Ninjatown in a time capsule with instructions for the hyper-advanced ape civilization of 299X to timebeam the game and a DS back to EGM circa 1996 -- back to when Shawn, Shoe, and I were still game reviewers with no notion of Shawn’s future work. So easy, even a homo sapien can do it.

Now all we have to do is grab an EGM back issue and see if our review has materialized in the wake of our futzing with the chronostream. Great Scott! Here it is! (For an easier-to-read PDF, click here.)

Great scores and appropriately era-specific cornball prose, sure, but I flipped a few pages ahead and it looks like Ninjatown barely lost Game of the Month to a title Sushi-X’s thawed brain will create in 300X on the Game Boy DSi Microlite Cerebral Spinal Shunt, Squirtle Edition. Those damn dirty time apes!