You defiantly not a bad gamer, just not the same gamer you used to be. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just different. As you described, your life has changed drastically from your shut in high school years. As it turns out, maybe you just happen to like real life interactions more than video games. Although you haven’t given it up completely, you’ve just decided it doesn’t deserve the time you once gave it. Again, not bad, just different.

Time is my impediment to gaming. Between Bitmob and freelance work, raising a child, housecleaning/laundry/cooking, and a full family life, I find it difficult to game as much as I want to these days. 

Honestly, I can relate to this. But not necessarily college being the reason, but my work.
The other reason being that I like less and less games today. I have little interest in "playing a movie", which sums up oh so many games that come out these days. Far too many game designers want to make a Hollywood style game, and don't realize that not many have an interest in that kind of game.

Finding time to game is really difficult for me, too. But it's a hobby I enjoy and especially one I enjoy writing about. I'm want to be a paid games journalist, but until then I'll have to do other writing jobs that'll pay the bills. ^^

I've had the same problem. I haven't blogged much on bitmob, aside from the writing challenges, in months. It started when I moved to Vancouver to find a game industry job a few months ago. Somehow, amidst getting a place, working on an indie game project with some guys from Edmonton, and landing a QA testing gig, I found myself playing games a lot less, and buying a lot less now that I'm on a budget. I play DQIX on breaks and I go see some local guys to play Super Street Fighter IV on Sundays, but aside from that, it's work and side-work. The urge to pick up most other games just isn't there these days.

I wouldn't take it too hard, though. I've always said that your level of commitment or involvement in something doesn't dictate how big a part of your life it is. It's about how it affects you, and how much you enjoy it. I can tell you that, aside from the saltiness I still get when I get bodied in SSFIV, I get a lot of enjoyment out of those 5-minute chunks of game. And when the financial situation is better, and the summer glut is over, I'll start playing more games again.

Putting something lower on your priority list doesn't make it worth less. And it doesn't mean you're a bad gamer, or not hardcore. Forget the labels. You play games, and enjoy them, so you're a gamer. That's all.

@Keenan "I have little interest in "playing a movie", which sums up oh so many games that come out these days." Do you play more console games or PC games? That's certainly not an issue with PC gaming. 

I can relate to a lot in this article.  I think my interest in video games waned when Sega got out of the console market... I still don't think I'm entirely over it!  

In the SNES days, I used to rent games a lot.  Every weekend, I used to go to the video store and rent a game.  I played a lot of obscure games that way.  Maybe you could try renting... 

I can no longer go than a hour of gaming, but the love of playing the newest game is still here.

@ Jason Wilson:
I mainly play console because my PC is almost a decade old. I'll probably get a laptop sooner or later.

Are there alot of good PC games to play? Not counting indie titles?

When I turned 17 I took a long break from gaming. About 3 or 4 years. Every once in a while I would play a game, but I literally would go 6 months without even picking one up. Then, when the 360 hit, I got back into gaming in a big way. I am 26 now and I play more games then I did when I was 16. I manage to balance everything, because I made a simple rule. Never play more than 3 hours a day (unless a weekend). I play an hour in the morning before I start my day. An hour in the afternoon, maybe after lunch. And an hour before I go to bed.

This lets me continue with my life and still enjoy my favorite hobby. And when the PS3 came out I almost had to make it 6 hours a day instead of 3....but I learned to divide the time between the two, lol. Now this rule isn't set in stone. Some days I may only be able to play 2 hours, or even 1. But when you set realistic goals it is easy to keep them. Everyone knows not to bother me at 10pm becasue I am having my hour of game time, lol.

@Keenan More than I think of. Bitmob: Let's throw out some game titles for Keenan. I'll start with an old game he can play now (Baldur's Gate 2) and one that he can play when he gets a new laptop (Shatter, a Breakout-style game). 

@Keenan. You know, even though I do not like Alienware, they have a new line of gaming laptops that would do the trick if you are looking for affordable PC gaming. The Alienware MX11 is a pretty powerful 11 inch laptop that comes stock at $799. Of course you can also tweak it to make it more powerful but the price will go up. They also have an MX15 and MX 17, each bigger and more powerful than the last.

I was looking for a new gaming laptop a few months ago and settled on the Asus G73JH. It is more powerful than the Alienware MX17, but half the price (The Asus was $1700 and if you build that very computer on Alienware's website they charge you over $3000). And Asus makes great PC's. If price is no problem you should go with Asus. If you want a good Asus your going to pay for it, but it is still cheaper than Alienware.

Well, I've already been playing oddworld, off and on, that game is incredibly challenging...

Wow, thanks for all the comments, everyone. I'll make sure to respond back later, when I have more time.

Nice article Nick.

I've been having similar feelings towards games for awhile now. Mainly due to getting a job and having a higher work load at College (English so 'High School'?)

I used to play all the time, massive Halo 2 and Halo 3 player where I'd met great friends and been joined by ones I knew from College.

It was fantastic, those feelings have run thier course and I don't play online much at all anymore. It's a shame it used to be great. But the saying what nourishes me also destroys me was ever true, playing a lot was great but it restricted me and made me think I couldn't do anything else.

So I got a job and realised that, well, there's more to life than games. It was hard because most of my real life friends played a lot as-well, it was our main 'social' time. But, I think I made the right decision and whilst I read about games a lot, magazines and websites I wouldn't consider myself hardcore anymore. I used to play Halo 2 / 3 everyday for at least a couple of hours.

With added perspective that I gained from getting a job the latest release of Halo fills me with a sense of dread. I don't want to go back to playing obsessively, but it'd be nice to play with friends a fair bit also. I guess you like what you're good at and that's Halo for me, I'll enjoy it whilst it lasts. :)

 

It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone in my plight here. Judging from everyone’s comments, it appears that a lot of people kind of drift away from gaming at some point; it just happens organically, as life gets more and more complex when you get older.

It’s probably better not to fight this change, but adapt to it. Like Michael said, as long as you enjoy something, who cares how often you do it or how high it is on your priority list? So if playing only the big name titles whenever I can squeeze them into the idle cracks of my life is enjoyable to me, I guess I shouldn’t be too concerned about it. And if at some point I connect to the game industry like I did when I was a child, that’s cool too. I suppose I just have to let it happen.

For now, I'll continue to my current approach to gaming: Play for a couple hours a week, buy whatever I can afford that interests me, and visit this site to see some unique perspectives on the industry that's always played a part in my life, both large and small.

Believe me man, you are not alone!

This is still (and will continue to be for some time, me thinks) an issue for me. Being a multimedia/web designer and a musician who plays in two bands, having a girlfriend, and balancing out the rest of my social obligations leaves very little time for me to actually game any more, let alone even be at home for more than a half hour at a time!

But I have found that while I may not be able to physically sit down in front of a console as much any more, my interest in the news and goings on in the industry still capture my interest a great deal.  So while I might not have played the latest release, I'm still very knowledgeable about it so I can still feel connected to it, knowing that whenever I eventually get some precious free time I will get around to playing again. It's a way to still satisfy my "hardcore" cravings on a "casual" time schedule.

This kinda happened to me the last few years of Uni, mostly cause of being busy, but I also felt that the gaming industry/culture was shifting, away from what I was interested in. Less traditional fare (JRPGs, shmups, 2d, platformers, etc) more sandbox-style action, MMORPGs, FPS, etc. Nothing wrong with those games, they just don’t hold my interest in the same way (plus FPS give me motion sickness :P). This was the first generation of consoles that I waited YEARS into the cycle to jump in. Prior to this gen, the release of a new console sent me in a frenzy. Lately I've been getting more into it again though; the genres I like are still out there, if a bit more niche than they used to be. Overall, though, I still play older games more than new ones.

I enjoyed your article, Nick, and can empathize with most of it.  I too am dealing with the limitations that adulthood places on one's gaming - time, money, friends/family, etc. - and am finding my own ways to adapt.  But there's one sentence in your article that didn't make any sense to me:

"My lack of funds has created an enormous backlog of unplayed games that I have no hope of ever completing."

Um...what?  If you have no funds with which to buy new games, doesn't it make sense that the best games for you to play are the ones you already paid money for?  I realize it's a little counter-intuitive, what with the entire games industry being hyper-focused on the Next Big Thing and all, but it's actually kind of liberating to put the hype machine aside and put some quality time into a game that you don't have to worry about being spoiled by a blog post reporting on new DLC that casually spoils the ending.

A good game is a good game, after all.

Great article, and I've got to say you've hit the nail on the head for reasons I also don't game as much as I used to. The money angle isn't so much of an issue for me - I've made the same deal the rest of the working world has: I've sold my time in exchange for money, and now I'm cash rich and time poor.

As I work full-time and have a wife and kids, there simply isn't the time to fulfill all my work and family obligations -AND- spend more than a couple of hours on a weekend, if I'm lucky. For this very reason although I'm still psyched to pick up games like Fable II or Fallout III - it would take me the best part of a year to get through them in the bite-sized chunks I can afford, and I'm thinking the entire immersion factor would be sucked out of them by playing in that fashion, so instead I try for the pick-up n' put-down games - Trials HD, Rez, SSFIV etc. to get my gaming fix.

Another thing I've found myself doing is that when I do manage to get a block of time on a weekend, I try to arrange to meet up a mate and play some co-op, so we get to chat and catch-up while we do some sparring, racing or co-op shooty-stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I still love gaming - it's just that at this point in my life the time element of it all asks for more than I am able to give.

Brian: While having a huge backlog of games I can get for $30-$40 seems great, it goes back to the fact that the game industry moves so fast. This industry really is all about the Next Big Thing. By the time I get to games like Mass Effect 2 or Uncharted 2, they will be ancient in gaming years. I know it sounds stupid, but a game loses some of its appeal for me if no one is discussing it anymore.

I like your philosophy that a good game is a good game, regardless of the hype surrounding it or when it came out. But sometimes I can't help but feel that the industry is leaving me in the dust, and that's part of what's causing my current disconnect with it. I know that I shouldn't care about that, but gaming was a big part of my life for a long time; the fact that I can't keep up with the industry anymore is a little disheartening.