Wow, awesome. Just...wow.

...maybe she was thinking about another platformer?

Holy crap, Chris, this is maybe the funniest piece I've read on Bitmob yet.  I laughed out loud throughout the whole thing.  Thank you.

Oh man, this is the funniest piece I've read in a long time. I've had some very similar situations, and it's incredibly frustrating (and amusing in hindsight). I can't tell you how many times I've heard "What? Like Mario?" And when someone has no interests or is extremely close-minded, that's the worst. Anyway, if there's any justice, this piece will get front-paged.

Tsk tsk, take the sex, THEN go play video games.

I gotta say, I'm impressed by your principles.

Wow. I am speechless.

Hey everyone! Reading these comments just made my day!  You guys are all super awesome and thank you so much for all of your kind words.  I'm really glad you all liked it!

I guess I'm missing something here. I don't really think it's funny nor do I support being rude and dismissive to someone who doesn't share my interests. There are much more diplomatic ways to end a failed social encounter. 

@Jay You're not missing anything, I'm just an asshole.  I think being an asshole is funny, but that's just my style of humor, and it's definitely not for everyone.  Thanks for reading it anyway though.  For the record though, this girl sucked, she was super boring and just wanted to sleep with me.  I was trying very hard to give this girl a chance and take her out of a date instead of sleeping with her and moving on.  She proved she was nothing more than what I saw at first glance, and I have zero pity for her. 

 Chris - I'm just going to admit that I'm never going to agree with your point of view and move on. 

I think Alex has the right idea....

I don't think so. I think you sex a woman like this up (who invites you into her house on the first date and expects some making out) and it leads to her popping holes in a condom or writing her name in the steam on your mirror.

This is pure gold and I agree with Andrew, top notch principles indeed.

Besides, people being assholes amuse me since I tend to be one myself. >.>

@Shoe and Alex - Come on guys, what do you take me for!

While I completely understand not wanting to date someone who has zero interest in your hobbies and doesn't seem to have much to say, I do think gamers can date people who aren't gamers- check out my post Gaming and Relationships: Rules for Being Married to a Non-Gamer.

Really funny post, Chris!

PS- I added it to Digg-

http://digg.com/gaming_news/A_Gamer_s_Date_Girls_or_Video_Games

Wait wait wait. What we have here is

(1) A guy who deliberately puts off opportunities to have sex in order to get to know the girl better.

(2) A girl who makes no effort to get to know the guy and rejects his efforts.

Yet the guy is an asshole when he shuts her down? No one would be saying that if you switched the genders around.

Hey Chris, I didn't really get the article at first, but your comment to Jay made it work for me.  I'm not a big fan of "self-absorbed nerd doesn't get it" stories (which was my initial impression) but "everyone is a jerk in one way or another" is right up my alley.

That said, I think if you're going to link your Twitter at the end, you should unprotect it.  I have no idea if I really want to follow you or not!

@Kevin It's literally to keep everyone except my family from seeing Twitter, I'm not letting them ruin Twitter like they did Facebook.  I'll approve an automated Twitter account with porn links before I approve my Mom.  I accept all invites otherwise.

@Frank Thanks man!

Public Service Announcement: Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. 

Not having sex with a woman you're not interested in isn't being an asshole!

Hilarious post, I laughed out loud.

Adam - There is a very distinct difference between telling someone "This isn't going to work" and telling someone "Get the f*** out of my car." (Which it said before it was edited.)

I actually applaud the decision he made to not have easy, meaningless sex with someone who didn't share his interests. I was just objecting to the manner in which he went about it. If I'm being honest, I have a deep, seething hatred of vapid women, but I don't talk to _anyone_ like that in a social situation, short of the presence of actual violence.

Jay, I agree with you in theory, but if a man had treated a woman the way she treated Chris, I dare say the woman would've been applauded for being an asshole.

I knew I was going to marry my wife when, on our first date, she walked into my apartment before dinner, saw that I had Super Mario 64 running on my television, and exclaimed in an excited, girly voice, "You have Mario!!!"

Beautiful, extremely confident and intelligent, AND conversant in games!  Score!

The bad part is, whenever I have an RPG like Mass Effect 2 we play it "together," meaning I do all the work and she's in charge of the dialogue tree choices, which means we always wind up having at least one character who's a lesbian if that's an option, and who is almost neutral in their Good and Evil ratings. Small price to pay for someone who is not only a gamer, but also encourages me to write a blog and post comments on sites like Bitmob. :)

Hold on -- this isn't fiction?

I have to say, I'm saddened at the end. That was really mean.

I seriously would love to read a story where you suduce a girl with video games.
Great story btw!

 Adam - Maybe I'm in the minority, but I think there's room for civility on both sides of that fence regardless of who is on which side. I don't think she was acting appropriately either, but also I don't think that's an excuse for how the situation ended. I personally would not feel differently if the roles were reversed.

@Rob As a comedian and storyteller, the shit I say is 75%-95% real, and the rest fiction to make it funny.  I personally think the more real it is, the funnier it is.  In this case, it's 95% true.  The only thing I added was the ending question, so I could end the story without having to go for another 2-3 paragraphs about how crazy she was and how I had to break things off a few days later, which was the equivalent of setting off a nuclear bomb.  I just thought the final dialogue was a funny way to end it, but I guess some people (Like Jay) got super offended by it.  I did ask her that question earlier in the night at dinner, but I decided to use it at the end and add a response that seemed funny, instead of me just laughing to myself when she said it at dinner.  Ugh, I feel dirty admitting all of this, I feel like a magician revealing all of his tricks.

Ah. I suppose -- for me, anyway -- that without your above context, she really comes off as the victim by the end, which ruins the fun for me.

But I love how you integrated video game jargon into the post.

I don't think you were being an asshole at all. She sounds very close-minded. I mean, even if she didn't enjoy video games, she could have at least asked a couple questions since you tried asking her so many things. If anything, you were being nice not using her for sex.

Great piece! I thought the ending was a perfect way to end it. Like George Carlin said, you can make anything funny as long as the right elements are exaggerated. This being a gaming site, I thought it was hilarious to have the final straw over this girl be about games.

Still, though, the fact that the "romantic" movie you saw in the theaters was Boondock Saints 2 just slayed me!

This post was righteous. Sorry about the nuclear bomb part though. Relationships with NPC's are never easy.

Hey, this got censored. Also my comment got deleted, I think. But anyway, I love this piece. I thought it was funnier with the F word, though.

@ Evan Well, I said nuclear bomb, but the only thing she blew up was my text inbox.  She didn't even have the courage to yell at me over the phone, she resorted to capital letters and exclamation points.  I got sick of it and called her, and she wouldn't answer, but would keep texting.  Last text I ever got from her was along the lines of "I'm going to drink a lot and then go drive around drunk, what should I drink?"  She was hoping I actually cared about her and had some sense of obligation to go and stop her in person, but I simply replied "Scotch."  I doubt she actually did it, but it would explain the sudden halt in text messages.

@Michael Yeah it got censored, I swear a lot and I think it emphasizes my jokes, but when it gets to the front page it kind of has to be prepared for the masses.  I'm slightly sad it's not there, but the tradeoff for front page exposure makes up for it 100 fold.  It's offensive enough without the swearing anyway.  I also have been watching the comments like a hawk, and this is the first comment I've seen from you on this, so I don't think it got deleted, you probably just misclicked and didn't actually post it or something.  Glad you liked it though man!

@Dennis My very first girlfriend in highschool I met because of video games.  I was at her place for some reason or another, and I saw her N64.  She only played it occasionally, but I fell in love instantly.  Where as the analog stick on my controllers had been worn down to dust, hers were fucking pristine.  The problem was I ended up liking her controllers more than I did her, and she got a bit jealous.  Too bad about that one really.  You're lucky though, and that seems like a fair trade off.

As a girl gamer I find this hilarious.  I always chuckle to myself when I am in a store and I hear someone ask the associate if there are any Mario games on Xbox or PlayStation.  If you are on a date and there are no sparks why waste your time?  I also think that the girl was being weird anyway, she seemed to be as deep as a puddle in a desert. 

That reminds me, hanging out at gaming stores is a way to meet grrl gamers. It's not the best way, since their more likely to flirt with the managers, but it's worth a shot.

Just try not to hit on the staff unless she makes the first move. Awkward memories from trying that...