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The Bitmob staff dreamed up some ideas for the Wii U earlier this week, but Chris' concepts are a little...well, sillier. (And creepier. Security cameras? Yikes.)
1) X-ray vision screen
For years, gamers have drooled over the ladies of Dead or Alive or the men of the Final Fantasy franchise. The feeling hits like a lightning bolt: We see that attractive polygonal character, and we're hooked. As we play, we wonder what glorious delights lie beneath all those pixels. And that's with their clothes on!
But now we can finally sate our curiosity. With the Wii U controller, taking a peek would be as easy as bringing that controller toward your face. Nude patches, hacks, Game Shark codes...they're all relics of the past. The Wii U controller could revolutionize the way we watch games.
2) Solitaire
Bored at the office? Solitaire is your go-to game. Bored with a title you bought with your hard-earned money? Why not do the same thing? You'll even be able to keep your console running to justify the exorbitant price you paid for it!
3) Playing from the toilet
For hardcore gamers, heeding nature's call is simply not an option at times. Do people use the restroom during a 25-man raid in World of Warcraft? Heavens, no! They grit their teeth and destroy the boss like any other stout warrior would. But now you don't have to subject yourself to that anymore. With the Wii U controller, you can stream that data within the tablet and take it to the restroom. Drop that boss and drop a deuce at the same time.
4) Order take-out
The couch is a sacred area. Like the embrace of a mother's arms, that warm feeling is difficult to separate yourself from. But during a long gaming session, your stomach will betray you as hunger strikes with its mighty fangs. Cooking something healthy may take hours on end. That microwave dinner may be quick, but what if you run out? Enter the Wii U controller. If programmed correctly, ordering online can be just a few clicks away! Now the only real interruption of play would be answering the door to accept that delicious pizza or Chinese food you were craving.
5) Security camera
If you think the Wii U is for babies and casual gamers, then you are mistaken. Nintendo has provided hardware to tap into the stalker market. Imagine installing miniature Wii cameras in the bedroom of your significant-other-to-be. With one button, you will be transported into the room! If they're being attacked by another stalker, you could be the rescuer. Build that altar to your love greater and grander than ever, thanks to Stalkerz with Wii U Cameras.
