Editor's note: Spoiler Alert -- Jacob recounts his feelings on the infamous No Russian level in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Bitmobbers: How has the level affected you? -Jason

I knew from the outset that I would play this No Russian, a level in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 where terrorists attack a Russian airport. I'm not easily disturbed, and my curiosity unfailingly gets the best of me every time.

You have two options in this level: Shoot no one and let your "team" do the work, or do what I did and try to prevent anyone from escaping your field of vision, mowing down even those trying to crawl away as they slowly bleed to death.

One thing I did not anticipate was my sudden mental switch into playing a role. In my mind, Joseph Allen was a budding recruit who would stop at nothing to serve his country. He's told at the debriefing that the few lives he may take here would save millions, even billions, of others. He's told that gaining the trust of the terrorists would enable him to infiltrate their ranks and really make a difference.

Going into this mission, I'd read very little about the game or this mission in particular, so I was unsure if my actions would change the outcome. All I knew is what Allen knew -- that he can save the world by sacrificing a few people along the way. When the first bullet left the barrel of my automatic machine gun and splattered the business man's head as he checked the arrivals/departures board, I knew I had just turned a corner. After that first kill the rest seemed like nothing.

I was numb to the screams and cries of the terrified civilians as they fled before us like startled antelope. I didn't even notice that our leader had instructed us not to speak any Russian, and looking back, that was quite profound.

So why was I able to kill those people so easily? Was it because I was American and they were Russians? I would like to say that wasn't the case...but would that be a lie? I know that I can freely mow them down because the people and the bullets spraying from the hot barrel of my gun aren't real. But I have this nagging tendency to get wrapped up in the personalities and roles of the characters that I play in games.

I think that Allen would kill those people because he thought that by doing so he could save the world. As this dawned on me, I wondered how many other soldiers throughout our bloody history have been led to believe the same.

What really affected me was when the terrorists are about to leave the airport after killing what I thought were hundreds of civilians and Russian police forces, and all of a sudden the terrorist leader turns to you and shoots him.

It's not the betrayal that surprised and disturbed me, nor that he'd figured it out. What really bothered me was the last remaining seconds of your life. I was suddenly struck by the gravity of what we'd just done and the soul-crushing realization that it was evil. No good would come of my self-damning actions. I suddenly realized that more people would die because of my participation in this horrendous act.

I applaud Infinity Ward for their bravery. Some people speculated that No Russian glorified terrorism, but I see it as a lesson and a profound statement about the corruption of man and what they will do for their beliefs. Allen is not a hero, nor is any man who takes life for any cause. His desire to be a hero drove him to monstrous actions and in the end was futile.

Another factor people may overlook is the agency that sent him in there. True, they never ordered him to pull the trigger. But they fed that fire inside him that so desperately wanted to make a difference by dropping lines about how the death of a few could save the lives of many. Also, you should consider that they knew of an impending terrorist attack and did not try to stop it.

While the story is entirely fictitious, history's shown that the conditions and motives of the people in it have been driving our race for centuries.

Allen died in the end, and I think this was the most charitable fate he could have received. I cannot imagine that anyone could kill someone without being tortured by it.

I'm actually pretty troubled that it was so easy to convince me to kill these people, even though I knew it was a game and no one was being harmed. I wonder how many real-life soldiers deal with this sort of decision as they fight from house to house where any "civilian" could just as easily be an enemy.

I think in the end it's a blessing that war is so terrible, lest we grow to like it.