I really like this official Princess Peach T-shirt that I found at Toys “R” Us. I don't think I would look too good wearing it (it's a women's size), but I can certainly appreciate the playful message's challenge to gender norms. Assuming the designer of the garment means that the fair maiden is saving herself from oppressive captivity and not for her husband, I'm for it. The only problem I have with the idea of Peach's self-liberation, however, is that Nintendo's video-game track record doesn't really support this statement.

Last time I checked, the franchise's designers and developers consistently designate the male plumber Mario as the Princess’s savior. The one exception to this, where the gender roles were switched, is Super Princess Peach. If I remember correctly, that title featured our monarch using her overwhelming female emotions as a central gameplay mechanic. Peach might have rescued Mario and Luigi this time around, but I wonder, is that how she also goes about saving herself? By crying?

The princess formerly known as Toadstool had a logical opportunity to kick some butt in New Super Mario Bros. Wii as potentially part of a returning cast of heroes from Super Mario Bros. 2. But Nintendo opted to put a second Toad character in her stead. We could have had an amazing installment in the legendary SMB 2D-platformer series that featured a strong playable heroine -- one who would stomp Goombas and throw fireballs with the best of them. Instead, series creator and designer Shigeru Miyamoto said that they would have needed "special programming" to properly animate her flowing dress.

Sorry, Princess. If only you were wearing overalls instead of a gown, you'd be able to do some adventuring. We'll just leave it up to the boys -- the bros. -- to come rescue you yet again from Bowser...the same as they've been doing for the last 25 years.

I want to believe that Princess Peach is fully self-reliant, but until we see that properly demonstrated in a game, it'll just be empty rhetoric on a T-shirt to me. Maybe at this year's E3 industy trade show, Nintendo will take us all by surprise and announce a new platformer starring the kidnapped royal who has taken it upon herself to bust free from the shackles of her reptilian captor. Maybe this shirt is a hint at that new title and not just a demonstration of the disconnect between the company's merchandising division and the game development people.

I mean, it could happen...right?