Oddly enough, Max Payne and Davy Jones have a lot in common. They're equally vexed by women, they both scorn love, and they each have a serious head hair problem.

Video Blips:

• Another sunny day in Sao Paulo, Brazil, another bullet-infested wifehunt in Max Payne 3. I should really double my efforts of becoming a powerful crime lord if I can actually send out disgraced ex-cops on menial tasks so easily.

Continue after the break for Prototype 2's entry into "sensitive zombie wasteland" media and Crusader Kings II's cheeky jab at the piracy debacle.

• This intro cinematic for Prototype 2 waxes humanization on protagonist James Heller before his inevitable rampage of stabbing everything with giant, mutant arm-blades. I think we're witnessing the infant stirrings of zombie games trying to one-up Dead Island's morose piano accompaniment.

• Pirates of yore both plagued the seas and made a name for themselves, but no one beats Crusader Kings II's scurrilous "Downlo Ding" in notoriety. Thank goodness for the structured security of tyrannical medieval monarchies, right?