Why the hell not, video games? Are you too stuffy to realize that people have needs? Of course you aren't! I mean, you're the only medium that started as a mindless form of entertainment intended to tap into the most primal of urges. People are driven to achieve, and you gave it to us just like we wanted.

Well guess what? People are also driven by sex. It's our most basic instinct some might argue. Without sex, the population will die out and the world will be fucked (because face it; It needs us). Well, just because our significant other isn't around doesn't mean we aren't going to have that desire. It's human nature! That is why we cheat. That is why there is divorce.

But, you've provided that instant gratification of achievement for us for so long. You've kept us from actually working hard toward achieving something of real value, by giving us the quick fix of achieving something that ultimately means nothing. So, why not help us out with this whole sex thing?

My sister-in-law, that lives here in Michigan, is engaged to someone that lives all the way over in London, England. How do they go weeks, sometimes months, without physical contact without that primal urge taking over, leading to mistakes and regrets? I don't know. For the sake of this rant I'll just assume he has cheated on her already. Things will be exposed. Feelings will be hurt. It will be loud, stressful, emotional, and painful (for them; I don't give a shit).

But just imagine a world in which a wonderful thing exists that lets them video chat over the Internet. Oh, wait, it does. Well then, just imagine that while doing that, they could both have an Xbox 360 game that allows them to control the vibration function in each other's controllers. Right. You get the idea. It makes sense, so it's going to exist. If only the young lovers in my family knew about it. Such a waste.