We know some language-loving fanboys will be sad about the Final Fantasy XIII news below, but it's nothing to cry about. In fact, it's something to laugh about.

News Blips:

• 360 version of Final Fantasy XIII too stupid to learn Japanese. Or, we should say, not intellectually capable enough, as Square Enix has confirmed that it's not possible to include multiple languages of its upcoming role-playing game because of the space limitations of the 360's DVD disc. PS3 users, however, will get to listen to characters yap it up in both languages due to the bloated belly of Blu-ray. Personally, we're waiting for the PS4 version so we can cast Knights of the Round in Klingon. [Kotaku]

• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 cover story makes trees cry. The new issue of Game Informer has a big feature on the new Call of Duty game for those who still enjoy reading words on paper. Craziest piece of info? You shoot things. Mind = blown! [Joystiq]

• Jerry Bruckheimer knows nothing about games, so hires people who do. The man responsible for Pirates of Caribbean hired former Microsoft and Ubisoft executives to help him create games for the production company he announced way back in 2007. Jake Gyllenhaal has also been hired to exclusively walk around the office with his shirt off for some odd reason. [Joystiq]

• Tough decision: Buy a real guitar or buy a fake one for the same amount of money. Peripheral-maker Logitech revealed a $200 Rock Band/Guitar Hero guitar for those who want to rock out like an idiot in style. To anyone who buys this, South Park has a message for you. [Kotaku]