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My Future Self Answers Your Questions

Mikeminotti-biopic
Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I want to thank everyone who sent a question to my future self. After relearning how to type on our "archaic keyboards," he quickly went to work answering your queries.

Baby's Toy


Did motion controls finally die? Or have they grown even more prevalent? Have hardcore gamers attacked all the major publishers with flaming sticks and pitchforks for alienating them and only focusing on the casual crowd? If so, did anyone stick Activision head honcho Bobby Kotick in the rear with one of the pitchforks? -- Ed G.

Casual games are here to stay, but you should be more worried about the upcoming advent of torture games. After cracking the casual market, game publishers go after the masochists. They're a much bigger threat to our culture. -- Future Mike

 

Do we ever get another Ape Escape release? Oh, wait, that's monkey-related. -- Nicholas Feinig

Ahh! Monkeys!!!!! Also, yes. And it sucked. -- Future Mike

I have a couple of questions:

1) Does LucasArts ever get off its ass and make more X-wing games?
2) Do we see the return of six-character parties in RPGs?
3) Does Atari finally do something with the Dungeons & Dragons license after a couple of years of neglect?
4) Do we get rid of bald/buzz-cut space marines and heroes?
5) When do we finally get rid of the walled-garden console?
- Jason Wilson

1) No, but most of us have our own X-wings at this point.

2) I remember eight-character parties being all the rage in the '20s, but six-character parties never enjoyed a comeback. Also, all of the old Forgotten Realms games were banned after the accident.

3) Not really. Atari is too busy being the world's largest console manufacturer...again.

4) Natural human evolution has completely done away with hair. Any of the hair you saw on me in Sunday's picture is just a toupee I wore so I would look like my present-day counterpart. Turns out everyone who's bald now is just more genetically advanced.

So, no, we don't get rid of bald space marines.

5) Yeah, remember that one-console-future you guys were hoping for so much? I wouldn't get too excited. As a matter of fact, remember when you had to have separate systems to play individual games like Pong? We're kind of back to that. -- Future Mike

How much will Panzer Dragoon Saga and Shining Force 3 go for on eBay 30 years from now? -- Ryan Good

Last I checked they were both selling at about 50,000,000 crannots. Sadly, I have no idea what the conversion rate is for crannots and your primitive monetary system. -- Future Mike

How many more flavors of Mountain Dew Game Fuel will there be? -- Rich McGrath

None. That's why finding enough Game Fuel to power my time machine was so difficult. -- Future Mike

Has Gran Turismo 5 come out yet? -- Brett Bates

I don't really remember GT5 -- Gran Turismo 5 -- that well, but considering I saw GT39 at the grocery store before I traveled back in time, I think it's safe to say it finally made it. -- Future Mike

Aw, man! I hate future Mike...he pops in from the future and steals my Capri Suns! The bastard! 

Does gaming suck in the future because in the holodeck, everyone wants to be Jean-Luc Picard? I can imagine being the one Geordi LaForge while there are 5 billion Patrick Stewarts f***ing things up. -- Jeffery Michael Grubb

In my defense, we don't have Capri Sun anymore in the future. I really miss stabbing pouches of fluid with a sharp straw. Also, we don't have holodecks yet. The future isn't that crazy. -- Future Mike

Holodeck

Does Hideo Kojima have to keep making Metal Gear games in the future? -- Kevin Miller

In the immediate future? Yes. But don't worry -- everyone dies eventually. -- Future Mike

When do you finally grow up and leave behind your silly Kingdom Hearts fandom? -- Chris Wittington

Considering that half of the games released in the future star Mickey Mouse, I think you're the one who should jump on the Kingdom Hearts bandwagon. -- Future Mike


That's it! If you have any more questions about the future of gaming, don't be afraid to ask.

Disclaimer: Future Mike's appearance in our timeline may greatly change the future he knows.

 
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Comments (10)
Jamespic4
July 28, 2010

1) Is the JRPG dead?

2) Do we still have review scores?

3) Do people consider video games to be art?

Default_picture
July 28, 2010

Is there a replacement for an exploding barrel? 

Noctisavvy
July 28, 2010

1) Does Sucker Punch really change Cole back from his 'douchey' design to something closer to the original, or will we all have our hearts broken?

2) Have Square Enix figured out that despite good sales, Final Fantasy XIII was not a very good game, and perhaps going back to the ATB system would be a good idea?

3) Who won the Infinity Ward Lawsuit and how did the loser take it?

4) Who is the current biggest-selling games console development company in the future? Sony? Microsoft? Nintendo?...SEGA? *Shudders*

5) Also, does Nintendo govern Japan?

Jason_wilson
July 28, 2010

We get our own X-wings? What about Imperial craft? I'd rather fly a TIE Defender! Or at least a B-wing.

Jamespic4
July 28, 2010

I'm with Jason: TIE all the way (in addition to double rainbows, apparently).

Me
July 28, 2010

50,000,000 crannots?  Sounds like a lot!

Greg_ford
July 28, 2010

This post made me laugh.

Also, TIEs are terrible. They are the Pintos of the Star Wars universe.

Mikeminotti-biopic
July 28, 2010

I'll be sure to ask Future Mike about TIEs next time I see him. He left to spend some time in 1992 to stock up on Crystal Pepsi.

Eyargh
July 29, 2010

Are all of our favorite Bitmob editors' head's in jars, like in Futurama?

Shoe_headshot_-_square
July 30, 2010

Hilarious!

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