My girlfriend just told me that they don’t really have things like squirrels and raccoons in France, but in England they have urban foxes! How could I have lived this long without knowing that?

News Blips:

Bethesda reveals the perks and abilities for each class and race in Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim. Racism infects every aspect of our society. Take the new entry in the Elder Scrolls series for example. According to this game, all Orcs are imbued with the power of “Berserker.” Well that is just wrong, and I’ll be expecting an apology. That’s right...I’m half Orc. My mother was one of those majestic green-skinned creatures, and she had other skills besides wildly swinging an axe every time her favorite mage was voted off of Cyrodil Idol. Mom enjoyed knitting, drinking fine meads, and punching my Nord father when he failed to bring home live chickens for her to disembowel. Will this racism never die? Probably not! Here’s a list of Skyrim’s racial abilities:

ORCS: berserker
REDGUARDS: adrenaline rush
WOOD ELF: resist poison, resist disease, command animals
NORD: battlecry
KHAJIIT: night-eye, claw attacks
IMPERIAL: Voice of the Emperor, find more coins when looting
HIGH ELF: regenerate Magicka more quickly
DARK ELF: Ancestor’s Wrath (surround self in fire), resist fire
BRETON: Dragonskin (absorb spells), resist shock
ARGONIANS: Histskin (regenerate health quickly), resist disease, breathe underwater

The bigotry continues at theelderscrollsskyrim.com, which also lists the full perk tree and class bonuses.

It takes three discs to Rage on Xbox 360. Have you heard this joke? Your DVDs are so old that it takes three of them to play the new first-person shooter from id Software. Seriously, I’ve seen veins on Dick Van Dyke’s legs that look better than that old piece of technology. Sure, the format was only invented 16 years ago, but that’s, like, 12,000 in physical-media years. Basically, Rage is a big, beautiful game that’s going to require more space than one dual-layered digital versatile disc (8.7 GB) can handle. The boys and girls at id are attempting to preserve as much of the high-res texture work as possible. That forced the developer to spread the campaign across the first two discs, while the multiplayer is relegated to the third. I know this is horrible news, but you shouldn’t be too upset...I can’t remember how I know what Dick Van Dyke’s leg veins look like. [G4TV]

Minecraft Pocket Edition will be available on the Android Market September 29. Managers, expect a considerable decline in workforce productivity this week when the addicting block-world title hits the entire lineup of Android phones. Sure, banning access to the PC game over the company network was a really good idea, but now it’s only a matter of time before the IT department explains to accounting how to download the portable version on their smartphones. The Pocket Edition of developer Mojang’s indie darling will use on-screen buttons for control, which will make developing some of the more ambitious penis-shaped projects a tad more difficult. However, I’d still alert HR to prepare for a slew of “is that the Washington Monument in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” jokes.

Xbox360Achievements.org adds Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3's cheevos to its database. Go ahead and laugh, but I'm excited to play through the end of the Modern Warfare narrative. It wouldn't ruin my day to have the plot spoiled by the names of achievements, but I'd still rather go in as uninformed as possible. Which is why I'll just point you in this direction if you're curious about what it'll take to hit a 1,000 gamerscore in Infinity Ward's latest shooter.

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