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Review and a .45: Bionic Commando
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Friday, May 22, 2009

So, if you read my pre-release thoughts on this game, you already know I had a problem with alot of the reviews that came out.  Now, having played and beaten the game, I can stand by those opinions more solidly.  While Bionic Commando has its fair share of problems, the central gameplay mechanic is so much fun and so well implemented that it makes up for most of them, thus making the overall experience an enjoyable one.

Below I've listed what issues seemed significant enough to mention in the form of an easy-to-read bulleted list (because everyone hates sequeys).

Significant Gripes

  • Whoever thought the "blue fog"--a vindictive mist that will kill any wayward commando who mistakenly swings into it within seconds--was a good way to keep players on the intended gameplay path should be fired...and then shot...or, possibly, both, which may be redundant, but that bastard deserves it.  Certainly, there must be a less punitive method of keeping swingers on the straight and narrow (and away from those invisible walls that reviewers love to bitch about so much).

  • Two words: sniper level.  Fairly early on in the game, Rad is tasked with traversing a series of buildings that are positively infected with some of the most accurate baddies I've come across in my gaming adventures.  In this level, just a poorly executed swing is enough to kill you--experience the thrill of oncoming death as you hang in the air at the apex of your momentum and watch three lasers line up with your body before being lethally perforated.  After a goodly number of such occurrences (and a similar number of profanity-laced tantrums), I decided to simply hunt the snipers down one by one so I could proceed.  Certainly, this approach was a fair bit less rad than swinging through the level, but it was a whole lot less annoying.

 

Minor Quibbles

  • Dying in a few feet of water not only sucks, but is also emasculating.  If my character's feet can touch the ground, he should be able to walk, water or no water.  Really, is there anything less "rad", less "bionic" than a hero who can't put his feet down and walk out of the puddle that's about to claim his life?

  • Next time, don't save the best for last.  While there's nothing really wrong with the gun combat, its a whole lot less fun than kicking rocks and flinging cars to take out your enemies.  The fun factor of this game increases dramatically when you have your full complement of bionic moves--would it have been so bad to let us have those from the start?

  • Oftentimes, just as you really get into (forgive me) the swing of things, you find yourself loading into a new area, thus dissolving your groove.  Personally, I would have been happy to be forced onto more circuitous paths if it meant longer bouts of swinging around like Tarzan--after all, that is the most enjoyable part of the game.


Legitimate Praise

  • Swinging is awesome (tell your parents!).  Really, the sheer joy of careening through the air like the long-lost son of a fictional archeologist goes a long way towards making up for this game's shortcomings--assuming, of course, that you don't suck at it.  Even now, having beaten the game twice, I could still go back (and probably will).  I can only imagine the technical hurdles that had to be overcome to make the swinging mechanic so spot-on, but Grin deserves heaps upon heaps of praise for having pulled it off with such aplomb.
 
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Comments (5)
Lance_darnell
May 23, 2009
From your review I assume that this is a good game that is worth buying once it drops to $30? I like your sectioning of the review into significant gripes, minor quibbles and legitimate praise. Very good.
I guess Bionic Commando: Rearmed is the game to buy?

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May 23, 2009
Yeah, I'd say this is an easy game to buy in the 30-40 dollar range, especially with the multiplayer considered. As for Rearmed being the one to buy--well, it's 5 bucks this week on Xbox Live, so you'd be silly not to buy it at that price.
Lance_darnell
May 23, 2009
5 bucks on Xbox Live?! I assume that PS3 owners get the same deal? (checking internet) Oh, yes they do!
Default_picture
May 23, 2009
Something I don't quite get, is Rad Spencer supposed to be same one in this game as in the old one? If so, why is he black? Is he black? If not, why does he look like it?

Also [SPOILERS DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED IT] making Super Joe a bad guy is the dumbest thing ever. [SPOILERS]
John-wayne-rooster-cogburn
May 23, 2009
Thanks for the quick write-up. I definitely want to pick this game up and give it a shot.
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