MILBANK, SD – After a month-long investigation, local authorities have arrested Aaron C. Parker, 26, for numerous animal-rights violations. Parker is accused of owning and intentionally neglecting the highest number of virtual pets in state record, including two Tamagotchis, five Nintendogs, and several hundred Pokemon.

“I’ve never seen a case of this magnitude in my career,” District Attorney Joseph Shmoman informed press in an interview earlier today. “It is baffling to me how anyone could be cruel enough to disregard the well-being of so many not-quite-living creatures. We can only take solace in the fact that the criminal was detained before Kinectimals and the new Pokemon games were released.”

Just a small portion of Parker's hundreds of neglected pets

Instrumental in the apprehension of Parker was the animal-rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Virtual Animals (PETVA), who tipped off police after reading several of the alleged criminal's posts on internet forums. John Goobanks, the head of the local PETVA chapter, told reporters, “Parker has written quite a few statements about these virtual-pet games as being 'shallow' and having 'very little replay value after a few hours.' It was quite easy to discern how he was neglecting the pets that, by purchasing and playing the games, he was legally responsible for taking care of.”

This is not the first form of action PETVA has taken toward the gaming community. Members of the group have frequently been seen marching in front of GameStop stores and other entertainment retailers, protesting the way the shopping outlets stock or “breed” new virtual-pet games when there are so many used or “homeless” games on their shelves.

PETVA activists are also known for criticizing customers who trade in or “abandon” their virtual-pet games. They believe that all who originally buy or “adopt” these games have made a commitment to taking care of the animals in them. Many people disapproval of this stance as irrational, citing that the majority of computer-generated creatures are not even programmed to die.

“We are also extremely opposed to the creation of any game that promotes violence against animals, particularly those that encourage players to force two or more creatures to fight one another,” Goobanks told the Disgruntled Vegetable in an exclusive interview. “It is appalling enough that games like Dragon Quest teach children that attacking animals will make them stronger, but games like Pokemon just make me sick.”

Among the most grievous charges against Parker is his negligence toward his entire farm of piñatas. Parker owned several virtual acres of farmland where he was raising over fifty piñatas of various species before deciding to ignore their needs. During this time, Parker thwarted many attempts to destroy his farm by a gang of evil piñatas lead by Professor Pester, but after the player left, the villain sided with PETVA in order to take down Parker once and for all.

Parker's garden once flourished with a variety of healthy piñatas

“Without the player, I didn’t really have anything to do,” Pester explained, “and I felt really sorry for all the piñatas that no longer had anyone who would take care of them, so I decided that aiding PETVA to stop this heartless criminal was the least I could do.”

As there has not yet been a precedent for this, experts are unsure whether the testament of a virtual piñata will be acceptable in a court of law.

Parker will appear for a hearing within a few weeks, but authorities have already confiscated and are trying to find new homes for all of the virtual pets he owned. Anyone interested in caring for one of these creatures is asked to either contact the Milbank police department or visit Ebay.com.

There are so many fads when it comes to games about virtual pets and monster collecting that they have become hard to keep track of. For every success like Pokemon, there are quite a few flops. I remember getting Viva Piñata for PC a couple of years ago, and I think I booted it up twice before completely forgetting about it. Now with Microsoft's Kinectimals game coming out soon and even more Pokemon games on the way, do you think these types of games are getting a bit tired?