This The Darkness 2 trailer shows that not even brooding ex-crime lords with bloodthirsty tentacle eels for friends can have nice things. What is this world coming to?

Video Blips:

• Listen to Too Much Cocaine explain the shenanigans and goings-on of The Darkness 2. Someone sign up this man as next year's Oscars host.

Continue after the break for Battlefield 3's 99 problems, an extended cut of Ezio's E3 beatdown in Assassin's Creed: Revelations, and an overview of League of Legends: Dominion.

• According to rapper Jay-Z, Battlefield 3 has an excellent grasp of female relations but 99 other problems. Problem number one: using this song.

• Protagonist Ezio Auditore keeps his cool even after getting shot and pummeled in Assassin's Creed: Revelations. But then someone broke the unspoken rule: Never touch the hood.

• Learn the ropes of League of Legends: Dominion with this informative trailer. That's assuming I can wrap my head around more complex instructions beyond "click things, watch them die."