What a huge week for game releases! First Party Pigs: FarmYard Games (Wii), then Imagine: Makeup Artist, THEN I Love Beauty (DS)? When will publishers learn? Why don't they spread out their makeup and farmyard titles rather than unleashing all the triple-A stuff in late May? Did Destineer send Party Pigs out to die?

Anyway, Punch-Out!! and Bionic Commando also slipped under the radar this week, so we thought it'd be good if the Bitmob community could write about these games. You know, so the hardcore gamers don't miss 'em.

Some of you have already started, like Stephen Barnard, who isn't a huge fan of Bionic Commando's radiation zones (I expect someone else might have a water level-related rant percolating as well, I know I do). And our own Andrew Fitch just chimed in on Punch-Out!!, too.

Great, a water level, that's a good idea.

We're looking for reviews, sure, but we're also happy to read posts that use these games as a springboard for other topics. What it felt like to finally beat Super Macho Man, say, or the fine line between challenge and frustration, and how the Bionic Commando guy swings across it over and over, dying each time.

Be sure to tag your articles with Punch Out or Bionic Commando (hit that 'tags' option over on the right when you're making a post), and we'll feature some of our favorites in a follow-up post on the front page. No set deadline, but the follow-up could be as soon as next Wednesday.

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Confession time: I haven't done much gaming for fun in the months since the 1UP layoffs. Oh, sure -- I've dabbled in a little Dragon Quest V here, some Retro Game Challenge there. (The fact that I associate games with losing my job probably doesn't help matters, either!) But I haven't been truly addicted to a game since Persona 4 late last year. I've been extremely busy working on localization projects recently, and a lot of my "gaming" time these days is focused on making sure sentences don't overflow text boxes. Still, like all of us, I do have my share of free time. But I think it's telling that even I -- probably one of the few dudes who can honestly say that Resident Evil plotlines "enthrall" him -- haven't "found the time" to crack open my copy of Resident Evil 5.

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As the Mailbag works its way ever so closer to its regular Thursday posting slot, we tackle Trico, maturing games, and a magazine staple: the prison letter. Want to see your thoughts on our green screen? E-mail us at letters@bitmob.com.

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-Lance D.

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Funny thing. One of the most common complaints from people in my line of work: We don't have enough time to play games. Sure, we have review games to review. But we also have articles to edit, people to interview, websites to build, crazy people to ban from those websites, and impromptu games of Decapitato to play. The other problem -- get ready to break out the tiny air violins and Kleenex -- we often get so many games at once, that we can't keep up.

So last night, I'm sitting at home, staring at my recently arrived copies of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Raiden Fighters Aces, and Punch-Out!!, wondering how I can play and cover them in the most efficient, least time-consuming way possible. I came up with this -- the three lessons for the game industry that I got from playing these three games for three minutes each:

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Here we go again: Kojima Productions is back with another teaser. This isn't fair -- we're telling, Konami.

News Blips:

• Kojima Productions teaser teases another teaser that teases...oh, god -- not again! Yes, the Metal Gear maker's cryptic website has yet another countdown clock that is sure to cause more joy. Or frustration. Probably frustration, but we're amused with the shameless leg-pulling. All signs point to E3 for the big reveal, but at this point, we wouldn't be surprised if Kojima himself announces the surprise is actually a Metal Gear-themed calculator wristwatch. Hey, it adds up to us. [1UP]

• Size does matter: Guinness World Records awards Fuel for being really, really long. The open-world racer from publisher Codemasters received an award for being the biggest console game in history for having 5,560 fake, videogame miles of land available for players to aimlessly drive on until they either get bored or run out of fuel -- whichever comes first. Pretty impressive, we must say. But, uh, Guinness must have never played the Design Mode in Excitebike -- that track never ends...literally. [Joystiq]

• Capcom calls for new mobile games, iPhone picks up. The Japanese company confirmed it will be developing over 10 games for Apple's fancy talking device throughout the rest of this fiscal year (which ends in March, 2010). No word on what games they'll be making, but we'd guess we'll see at least one two three four five Mega Man games. [Kotaku]

• People play videogames, it's true. In case you didn't know this, the research group NPD released stats that say 63 percent of the people surveyed play videogames, while only 53 percent watch movies. And, shockingly, only 1 percent rollerblade while knitting. Strange. [1UP]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 trailer, Prototype bosses deemed brutal, Half-Life 2 magnets, and...more.

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This is the first new Heavy Rain footage since the Leipzig Games Convention 2008, and it's a full two-and-a-half minutes of gameplay, extra heavy on the quicktime events. Think it looks as good as last time?

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Editor's Note: We try to avoid regular previews as much as possible on Bitmob, because almost every site does those already and it's unlikely that you guys can get your hands on games early unless you're part of the gaming press. We're making an exception here, though; Neo Steam is a game you probably don't know much about (we didn't, at least), and Derek has logged hours in the closed beta. -Demian 

I had the opportunity to take part in a 2,000-person closed beta for Atlus' first contribution to the saturated free-to-play MMO market, Neo Steam: The Shattered Continent. While I've played several FTP MMOs in the past and none of them ever succeeded in holding my attention for more than a few days, the fact that this game is from Atlus kind of excited me.

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When I was looking over last week's April NPD numbers, one game jumped out at me: Pokémon Platinum Edition, checking in with sales of a nifty 433K. OK, the fact that a new Pokémon game has cleaned up on the charts isn't surprising in the least. (Still, approaching half a million units in one month -- wow.)

But it made me think of how badly I misjudged this series. When Pikachu and Co. bounded onto the scene in the late '90s with Pokémon Red and Blue versions, I wasn't surprised. To me, it seemed like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for a younger generation. Hearing that it all stemmed from a good game didn't dissuade me too much from brushing it off as a fad.

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Pigs are ruining our lives. Not only are they responsible for the current flu frenzy, but they're also responsible for the sequel to one of our favorite zombie games missing this year's Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3). To show our anger, we're declaring today: Eat-Bacon-Until-You-Puke Day.

News Blips:

• Cue Alanis Morissette's "Ironic:" Dead Rising 2 will not be shown at next month's E3 due to swine flu. Apparently zombies can get the piggy pukes, too. Or at least the people making a game about rotting, flesh-eaters -- Capcom has confirmed that Dead Rising 2's producer, Keiji Inafune, and other staff members will not be attending next month's trade show due to the flu outbreak. Because of this, the game will be quarantined until it's deemed safe to show. Way to go, piglet -- thanks for ruining the show for us. [Kotaku]

• Rockstar founders find a company on street, give it a new home/name. The folks responsible for Grand Theft Auto have started a new company entitled 4mm Games. Maybe they'll announce some games at E3. That is, if the pigs don't get them to first... [Destructoid]

• THQ waste money for our amusement. The publisher let the world know it's sending the Queen of England a gold-plated Wii and a copy of Big Family Games. That's a smart idea. If you're an idiot. [Joystiq]

• Who buys Watchmen downloadable games at retail? You, maybe. Because, well, you can -- 1UP confirmed both episodes of the Watchmen downloadable titles will soon be compiled on a disc just in time for the film's DVD/Blu-ray release. If you actually do decide to pick this up, please adhere to store policy and wear some frickin' pants. [1UP]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a totally-not-out-of-focus Blur trailer, real life Super Mario Bros., yarn Metroids, and...more.

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It's with The Geekbox's Sweet 16 episode that we give this most excellent podcast the keys to what we hope is a long and prosperous partnership. Some of you may be wondering just what The Geekbox is all about. Those people should not go to the official Geekbox site and click on "About The Geekbox," because all you'll get is the autobiography of founder Ryan Scott. Instead, let us fill you in.

The Geekbox is an all-things-geek podcast, in which a handful of nerds -- led by former 1UP/Computer Gaming World editor Ryan Scott -- talk about anything and everything geek chic. Think Star Trek nitpicking, Lost dissertations, the pros and cons of comic scribe Grant Morrison, Andrew Fitch's frustrating dating "adventures," and yes, videogames. Give it a shot and let us know what you think.

The Geekbox RAW EDITION -- Episode 16 (2009-05-20)
Wherein we discuss Bitmob's launch, the Lost season 5 finale (big spoiler warning!), Greg Ford's desire to kick Sabretooth's ass, Greg's take on Star Trek (more spoilers), Gabrielle Anwar's potential summer wardrobe, the awesomeness of the new Punch-Out!!, and our new World of Warcraft recruitment drive. This experimental episode is raw and uncut -- every awkward pause and weird comment is fully intact for your enjoyment! Starring Ryan Scott, Karen Chu, Andrew Fitch, Greg Ford, and Ryan Higgins.
Running Time: 1h 12m 16s

Direct Download (right click save as)

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Have a look at some of the great stuff written and created by Bitmobbers that you may have missed over the last few days...we've got everything from Plants vs. Zombies reviews (multiple) to a confession about crying at the sight of Pac-Man. (And don't forget to click 'Read more' to see the complete list.)

Intermissions
This humor series by Brett Bates is well worth checking out. Recent posts include Army of Two and a Half (think Army of Two meets Three Men and a Baby) and Power Surge Causes Kojima Countdown Timer to Reset.

Bitmob Community Podcast
Trevor H (hey what's the rest of that last name, Trevor?) is looking into starting a Bitmob community podcast. All you aspiring Robert Ashleys out there, here's your chance! We'd love to see this plan come together.

Plants vs. Zombies Review
I'm a little late to the party on this game myself (just started playing a couple days ago, and wish I was playing right now), but luckily others are more quick on the draw. Allistair Pinsof's review is linked above, and Eric Majkut's is right here.

Top Five Videogame-Inspired Music Videos
Top X lists are to blame for most of man's ills, but I enjoyed this one from Allistair Pinsof. I think this Architecture in Helsinki video is my favorite.
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What is Your Earliest Gaming Memory?
Eric King poses the above question and then reveals that he used to cry when Pac-Man ate a power pellet and the ghosts turned blue. Anyone else have embarrassing confessions to make?Â

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If I'm understanding the official King of Fighters website correctly, the series is up to 2,004 games now. That sounds about right -- over the past few years, hasn't a new edition come out every three days or so? And we old-timers used to make fun of Street Fighter....

Oh wait, "2003" was a year, not a chapter count. OK, so I admit, I'm not the world's biggest KOF expert. But even though the series isn't at 2000+ titles, 12 is still a big number by anyone's count. Big enough that seeing a demo of The King of Fighters 12, due out this July for the PS3 and 360, wasn't really that high on our priority list here on Bitmob.

That is, until we found out who was doing the demo.

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Editor's Note: Funny, I also can't beat Mike Tyson either. But unlike Michael, I gave up a long-ass time ago. I mean, he's just so hard to beat. It's like he's made of iron or something. Y'know what? They should call him that:"Iron" Mike Tyson. What's that? They do? It's official: I'm a genius. -Michael

I am nearly twenty six years old and have been playing videogames as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is playing Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!; another is grabbing the lit end of a sparkler on the 4th of July. I have played Punch-Out!! on and off over the years and have always been thwarted by Super Macho Man.

I have never made it to the titular heavyweight champ in my life. I have never used a cheat to fight Tyson. To me, the game will end when I have beaten Super Macho Man. The closest to victory over him I've had was knocking him down twice a few years ago. He is always where my play session ends -- once I lose I throw in the towel. Even if I start playing an hour later, I start over at Glass Joe. I suspect I do this to reassure my ego that I don't suck at the game.

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Yay -- more peripherals. We always wanted to be a DJ, specifically one who is a hero, so we couldn't be more excited about scratching our way into the Justice League.

News Blips:

• DJ Hero oddly about DJing, not Full House. The newest issue of Game Informer has all the deets about Activision Blizzard's upcoming DJ-focused game. Get this: It's like Guitar Hero with a turntable. Or Beatmania, that other DJ game from a few years back that no one bought. This one will probably sell better, however. Because nowadays people love clogging their homes with plastic peripherals. If only the turntable was bigger, though -- we can totally fit that in our closet. [RagingGamer]

• Assassin's Creed 2 is so big, 450 people have to make it. That's a lot of people making the sequel to Ubisoft's newest franchise. Y'know, if you think about it, with that many folks working on the game, it should be out twice, if not, three times as fast as a normal game. So if this game isn't out by next week, we're totally not playing it. [1UP]

• Tomb Raider film reboot will explore more raider than tomb. The producer for the upcoming Terminator flick said the next Tomb Raider movie will be more character-driven. Sounds fine to us, because that Lara Croft is so interesting. Who cares about the tombs, anyway? They don't even have boobs. [1UP]

• The Secret of Monkey Island coming to 360 apparently isn't much of a secret. Gaming site GamerBytes noticed that a German rating board listed (but later pulled) what appears to be a special edition of the original PC adventure game. This means it could either be a retail release (not likely) or a Xbox Live Arcade title (more likely). Or it can all be a bunch of bananas (delicious!). [GamerBytes]

Click the jump for some video blips, including a Fat Princess developer diary, a top-heavy role-playing game, real life Punch-Out!!, and...more.

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Twitter's great for spreading incorrect rumors of Patrick Swayze's death, and also for stalking the game industry...which is what Game Twits is all about.

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Bungie Technical Artist Seth Gibson was the butt of a programmer joke. We think.

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2K Games Producer Jason Bergman fantasizes about exclusive George Broussard (3D Realms)Â video.

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EA's Jeff Green, former editor-in-chief of GFW/CGW, is due for a mean case of E3 Shoulder -- a rank stench localized in the upper shoulder area, suffered by booth babes and Jeff Greens at E3 as a result of repeated arm-in-arm photos with the unwashed.

Polytron's Phil Fish confirms that Fez will not come with a trampoline peripheral.

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Serial bather and Digg founder Kevin Rose lights candles, scores touchdown, ruins iPhone.

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Eat Sleep Play's David Jaffe hates Scottish people.

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Game designer and professor Brenda Brathwaite's iPhone texting is simultaneously more interesting and more nerdy than yours.

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Editor's Note: I'll admit, I used to be somewhat weary of casual games, but not anymore. Hell, I mostly play them nowadays: Plants vs. Zombies is my new favorite brain-teaser. And I've been playing Crossword DS for a good month or two. And don't get me started about how much I adore Cooking Mama and Order Up. To be honest, I think this petty "hardcore vs. casual" battle will eventually die via a Peggle ball to the head. Because, in the end, who the hell cares? More people playing games means more games for us. So why fight when we can all play along? -Michael

With the advent of the Wii and the "new" casual gaming market (most people, for whatever reason, don't seem to realize that casual gaming has existed since the ancient, black-and-white days of Spacewar!), there's been an ever-growing rift between the self-described "hardcore" gaming community and the outsiders: the old folks, "moms," non-gamers, and other dangerous folk who threaten our wonderful and exclusive hobby. If the History Channel has taught us anything, it's that you can't appease these people. If you do, bad things happen involving tiny mustaches.

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We never thought gamers would care so much about the weight of consoles. But apparently this is a big deal. Well, we think it's insulting -- consoles are people, too. Wait. Err, nevermind...

News Blips:

• PS3 weight rumors continue; many say bulimia is believable. Even though some Sony skeptics are finding the slimmed-down PS3 rumors a little hard to swallow, a kernel of truth may have just popped up. It seems tech site Engadget has been sent a cease and desist letter for hosting the leaked shots of the seemingly smaller PS3. The weird part? The letter wasn't sent by Sony, but by a Chinese company. Hmm. So is it true or not? Our gut says yes, but then again, he's just hungry after all these food puns. [Engadget]

• Robot Chicken lay mechanical egg; tastes like Spore DLC. The funny men behind Adult Swim's Robot Chicken series have helped create downloadable content for the Spore: Galactic Adventures expansion. If this news makes you say, "WTF," then you'll probably want to go visit the appropriately-named official website. Then OMG at the LOLs or something. [Kotaku]

• Randomly littered medkit gives 3D Realms small amount of health. So everyone thought Duke Nukem Forever developer 3D Realms died a pitiful death. We did, too. But we were all wrong, apparently. The studio confirmed it is still alive, albeit without the DNF team. Not sure how the studio will survive indefinitely, considering Duke Nukem doesn't own fancy dancy rechargeable armor like Master Chief. And, well, medkits aren't exactly easy to come by nowadays. [1UP]

• Japanese Capcom staff may miss E3 due to piggy pukers. Well, this is ironic: The company responsible for the Resident Evil series may be quarantined in their own country due to swine flu. We're sure they'll probably end up attending the State's biggest videogame trade show, but the news is still kinda funny. Except for the part about pigs giving us flu. Barf. [Kotaku]Â

• New Dynasty Warriors game is coming...hey, where are you going? Let me finish, thank you! Ahem -- like I was saying, Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires is coming to both the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 next month. For those of you who care. Which is, sadly, no one. Sigh... [Joystiq]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a bunch of Japanese Wii MotionPlus commercials, a Star Wars: The Old Republic story trailer, Half-Life 2 in block form, and...more.

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