Wait, you want to save this?
Â

Most everyone will agree that Super Mario Bros. is a good -- if not great -- game. Absolutely worthy of preservation. (See my previous post for more canonical games.) But what about the not-so-good games? And what about the absolute dreck like Superman 64, one of the most critically reviled games of all time? Wouldn't it be better to dump those games in a New Mexico landfill and pretend they never happened? Why save Superman?

(13)

1

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Peripherals have always been popular, mostly because they offer that arcade experience we all miss. But, uh, a skateboard controller? We hope it at least comes with a helmet -- we break easily. Just ask Shoe.

News Blips:

• New Tony Hawk forgets it's a game; adds skateboard peripheral. Guess the rumors were right -- Activision Blizzard officially unveiled a new skateboard doohickey for the upcoming Tony Hawk Ride. Looks cool, but it seems to be missing wheels. Um, getting around on that thing is going be a total drag. [Kotaku]

• Nintendo DS duals with other consoles; wins because it has two screens. Oh, and a new version came out last month, too. That probably has something to do with it. Regardless, the DS totally dominated last month's game sales, selling over a whopping million units. Pretty good for a cheater. [1UP]

• Nazi-killer simulation coming to Xbox Live Arcade. The predecessor to Doom, Wolfenstein 3D, is making its way to Xbox Live Arcade sometime in the near and distant future. While it probably won't hold up, it's still fun to shoot Nazis. Because they're bad. And shooting bad guys is OK. Yay for morality! [Kotaku]

• Take-Two cooks defeat; dumps a silo of salt on 3D Realms wounds. The would-be publisher of Duke Nukem Forever is suing developer 3D Realms for not releasing the game. How much does failure cost, you ask? Oh, y'know, only about 12 million dollars. Hell, at this point, they may as well ask to screw all the developer's wives, too. [Shacknews]

Â

Video Blips:

• A trailer tailor-made for manly men. Just watch. Preferably with your shirt off. In a thong. Flexing in front of a mirror. This is Muscle March, a WiiWare gaming coming to Japan later this month, from your ripped friends at Namco Bandai. [Namco-Bandai via Kotaku]

Hit the jump for some video clips, including a "trailer" for Tony Hawk Ride, a glowing Rock Band mod, and...more.

(7)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Editor's Note: James isn't the only one who misses arcades. In fact, I have many fond memories of visitng arcades as a wee youth. Get this: I had my big sis's friend's brother take me to a local arcade to teach me how to play Street Fighter II (no joke!). How silly does that sound now? Actually, I can't believe I just admitted that. Ahem, anyway -- arcades are awesome. -Michael

All the Sega arcades and Taito game stations were a nice reminder of my youth when I could go to pizza parlors and play Street Fighter II, or go to the 7-11 to sip on a Slurpee while dismembering limbs in Mortal Kombat 3. Or even the local Wonderland, where I could pay the admission, get the tokens, and spend an hour playing 5 cent games on a kid's birthday.

Today, no one wants to do that. No one wants to go to an arcade when they have 50-inch TVs and Xbox 360s in their living rooms. Maybe it's a sign that I'm old, but I miss the almost ironic social atmosphere of nerd-filled arcades, where you quartered-up and lost in one go to a guy who mastered Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting instead of calculus.

(21)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Guessing which games are going to be at E3 is hard. Unless you ask a PR person to tell you what's going to be there. Then it's easy. Really easy, apparently.

News Blips:

• Beyond Good & Evil 2 may be beyond attending E3. According to UGO, a PR rep at publisher Ubisoft told them the sequel to the cult hit from last generation won't be shown at this year's Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3). Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they were telling the truth. We lie all the time. Just kidding. See? That's a lie! [UGO via 1UP]

• Kojima Productions teaser teases with another teaser. Remember the other day when we thought the Metal Gear Solid makers were going to announce a new game via a mysterious website? Well, they didn't. But they did put up a picture of a field. Which is pretty mind-blowing if you're a farmer. If you're not, you should really consider it -- fresh food is mighty tasty. [Kotaku]

• EA's new hockey game is the first to add first-person fisticuffs. EA Sports head honcho Peter Moore revealed on his personal blog that NHL 10 will allow you to punch players in the first-person. What? No first-person puck mode? Lame. [PeterMooreBlog]

• Rock Band 2 reminds you Alice Cooper still exists. Harmonix announced both Alice Cooper and Taking Back Sunday track packs will be available next week for you to download and pretend to play for real. Before you download the tunes, ask yourself this: Are you worthy? [Kotaku]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including some snazzy Uncharted 2: Among Thieves footage, POW-worthy Batman brawling, a Lego Nintendo, and...more.

(7)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

We've got to hand it to GameSpy for their recent article, Casting Revealed! Videogame Industry: The Movie. Frank Langella as Peter Molyneux, James Lipton as Peter Moore, Christopher Lloyd is Jack Thompson...this thing's got legs! Although we're going to have to agree with commenter 'Nanotriad,' Jake Busey would be a better FATAL1TY than the older brother from Home Improvement. Actually, just cut FATAL1TY altogether and put him in charge of merchandising.

(4)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

The PlayStation family always seem to lose weight, so we're not surprised if the PS3 really is going on a diet. All this really proves is one thing: Sony products are incredibly vain.

News Blips:

• PS3 possibly loses weight; 360 now feels fat. Even though Sony has publicly denied rumors it's starving its flagship system, a Chinese message board has posted some suspicious photos of what appears to be a slimmed-down version of the previously portly PS3. Looks pretty convinving to us. Hmm, maybe Wii Fit really does work. [1UP]

• Harrison Ford appears in Harrison Ford game...twice. Bet y'all didn't see this coming: StarWars.com officially announced that Han Solo will show up as a bonus character in the upcoming Wii game Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings. Guess it's a better choice than Howard the Duck. [Kotaku]

• Factor 5 closes in 5...4...3...2...1. Sad news today for the developer of Lair and Star Wars: Rogue Squadron -- the company officially announced they will be shutting down. Hopefully, like Obi-Wan, killing them will only make them stronger. If that doesn't work, at least they'll get to recite iconic lines in people's heads and appear as sweet ghosts. [Kotaku]

• Former Sucker Punch developers are officially loose canons. Two former game makers at Infamous developer Sucker Punch have formed their own studio entitled Loose Cannon. The two plan to create a new IP for consoles that they say will "blow you out of the water." OK, maybe they didn't say that. But it'd be punny if they did. [Gamasutra]

Click the jump for some video blips, including a whole lot of BioShock 2 gameplay, people playing Punch-Out!! before you, Street Fighter toys, and...more.

(9)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

It's been slim gaming-related pickins in the twitterverse lately, seems like everyone is in a blind rage at the change to how @replies work (I think it's actually for the better), chronicling the trek to Game Developers Conference Canada in laborious detail, or giving it the "OMG Lost!"

Microsoft Games Studios' Ryan Payton, creative director on an upcoming Halo project, prepares to hunt heads in Canada.

If G4 host and number 96 on Maxim's Hot 100 Olivia Munn offers you a ride, take a cab.

Self-appointed major Major Nelson, the PR face of Xbox Live, lets the world know his broadcast day has ended. Is this acceptable behavior now? When you're done twitting for the day you make sure everyone's apprised of that fact via a tweet?

Taking it down a notch, game designer and professor Brenda Brathwaite, on her table top game Train, in which players load passengers onto a train car and race to the end destination, which turns out to be Auschwitz. Read more here, because the particulars of Train are way beyond the scope of this blog post.

Â

Jeremy Parish of 1UP and Gamespite fame has more Wii friends than God.
Â

OH HOLD UP he's back online! Unbelievable! And with shocking information about new virtual footwear!

Â

(6)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Activision Blizzard really likes sequels. And war. War sequels? Even better.

News Blips:

• Back to the front: Call of Duty 7 looks to be in development. A developer over at Treyarch listed Call of Duty 7 on his LinkedIn profile leading savvy Internet job profile-stalkers to post the intel on the Internet. Not really surprising, but it's odd that game makers haven't learned not to post unannounced information on the Web for everyone to see. Hmm, wonder if Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto has a LinkedIn profile... [Shacknews]

• Blizzard's next big game may be Craftless. Blizzard's community manager has confirmed its massively multiplayer online role-playing game currently in development will not be a spin-off of an existing franchise, but will instead be a brand new property. So long as it inspires Halloween costumes and ridiculous pornos, we totally support this. [Joystiq]

• Unofficial Lost iPhone app is fun for the first 108 minutes. Some Lost-loving iPhone developers created a "game" that lets you input numbers (not the official ones, sadly) into a crusty computer just like on the show. And, just like on the show, you have to do this every 108 minutes or something really, really bad happens. We think. Actually, we're not really sure -- we quit after the first 30 seconds. [Touch Arcade via Kotaku]

• New racing game is like a first-person shooter without the shooting. Or so says Activion CEO Michael Griffith. He's talking about Blur, the new racer by developer Bizarre Creations, the pros behind Project Gotham Racing and Geometry Wars. In the game, you pick up power-ups on the tracks, so apparently that's similar to picking up weapons in a FPS. Wait, does that mean Mario Kart is really FPS-racer? Weird. [Kotaku]

• This is ironic: GamePolitics and Destructoid fight over videogame violence. Grab some popcorn and watch read the drama. [GamePolitics]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a Ghostbusters trailer, baseball pinball, a dirt-eating Pac-Man, and...more.

(7)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

A feel-good tale turned feel-bad now has a chance to come full circle. The 2007 film The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters documented one Steve Wiebe, a totally average guy who transformed into a nerd hero, on his quest to best a pompous Billy Mitchell and his Donkey Kong high score. Too bad after the movie came out with its underdog-beats-the-world-record happy ending, "bad guy" Mitchell got the top spot back.

Now Wiebe is back on the steel girders, looking to surpass Mitchell's 1,050,200 points (as recorded by Twin Galaxies). If he can beat the world record at this year's E3 in Los Angeles, CA, Stride Gum has an interesting reward for him: a year's supply of gum and $10,001 worth of quarters, which, for you youngsters out there, is how we used to pay-for-play on our ancient arcade machines.

First of all, isn't Stride Gum supposed to be the one that lasts forever? So if that marketing's accurate, that prize would amount to one piece of gum. Second, that's a lot of quarters. Can't imagine Wiebe will be able to carry all that coinage after a marathon session of jumping over barrels has cramped his muscles up.

These days, a sackful of 40,004 quarters would be annoying as hell. But back in the 80s, that would've been any kid's dream (unless you had to feed them into a change machine to convert each one into a token).

If I had all those quarters, here are my top five old-school arcade games I'd spend them on:

(26)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Editor's Note: Matt here seems a little jaded on Metal Gear -- I can't say I blame him, but we're probably in the minority. And anything Kojima Productions is working on is of interest to a lot of people. Also, just so everyone knows, we'd really prefer it if you use your full, real name here on Bitmob. If you do, we're much more likely to look at your stories for promotion to the front page. But since we haven't had a chance to discuss this Famitsu ad yet, here we go.

Anyone want to share their theories on the stuff below? We're looking at you, fans of bats*** insane videogames. -Shoe

This is already old news by now, but in addition to yesterday's "T -3" thing, an image surfaced in the lastest Famitsu regarding Kojima Productions' next project. The full article is at 1UP; anyone have any clues or further info (or humorous musings) for what it is? In all honesty, I'm really not in the mood to hear about another Metal Gear game, it's way too soon. Even if it isn't technically a Solid game and is the next evolution of the franchise (which I'm hopeful it isn't), my interest is dead. The only possible things they could address right now would be revamps of Outer Heaven and Zanzibar Land (and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake doesn't need a remake).

Maybe it's something entirely new? God knows Kojima has repeatedly tried to get away from Metal Gear in order to establish something else entirely. Perhaps this is finally it?

~sLs~

(30)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Microsoft is really good at copying the competition. And we don't blame them -- any product that makes us look like morons is an instant-sell for us.

News Blips:

• Say cheese: Microsoft to use camera to document your idiotic movements. We've been hearing about this news ever since the Wii debuted, but it seems like Microsoft may finally be showing off its 360 gesture-based motion camera at this year's E3. Still, don't expect to be shamelessly waving your limbs until 2010 -- word is it'll take a year before Microsoft can get their copy-Nintendo camera on the market. Until then, you can always play this game. [VentureBeat]

• New flashcart encourages Nintendo fans to become pirates. The DSi makes it harder to be a law-breaking cheapskate, so that's why the company Supercard created a flashcart that lets you play pirated games on your fancy new system. Not that we support this. Because it could get you arrrrrrrrrrrested. [Kotaku]

• Lunar: The Silver Star casts a phoenix down on itself. The latest issue of Japanese gaming mag Famitsu revealed Lunar: The Silver Star (this time renamed Lunar: Harmony of Silver Star) is coming the PSP. In case you didn't play it on the GBA. Or the PS1. Or the Sega CD. Or the Atari 2600. [1UP]

• Analysts use supreme intellect to predict obvious. A bunch of number-crunching videogame analysts are saying the upcoming Wii MotionPlus doohickey will sell a lot -- 10 million units to be exact. Well, duh. In other news, punching yourself in the face makes you say, "Ow!" [Joystiq]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a painfully obvious Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 pop-up clip, retro Commodore 64 load screens, board games you can't buy, and...more.

(11)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Editor's Note: We're hoping this is the first of many posts you'll read on Bitmob from GameSpot alum Aaron Thomas, who also helped us out with his work behind the camera on next week's Hoe Down episode. And he's leading the upcoming intervention we're planning for Dan 'Shoe' Hsu; we'll see if Shoe's ready to kick his own achievements habit. We don't think he's quite hit rock bottom yet, though. -Demian

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have played Xbox 360 games for the sole purpose of artificially boosting my gamerscore. I have played terrible games on purpose; I have forsaken good games for children's games; I have adjusted sliders, stacked rosters, and played as both players one and two so that I could easily accumulate more points. My sins are too many to mention, but I shall list some of my more egregious acts here. Please be patient, this may take a while.

Cars - In February of 2007 I spent an entire Sunday playing Cars, the children's game based on the Pixar flick of the same name. It was a gorgeous day outside, but I spent it indoors tractor tipping with Mater and racing my way to victory in the Radiator Springs GP and Rustbucket Race-O-Rama. Oh, I forgot to mention I used cheat codes for unlimited boost. Sorry about that.

College Hoops 2K6 - Get 40 points with any player, six blocks with any player, 20 steals with any team...you get the idea. Remember the girls basketball coach that got fired for beating the other school 100-0? He had nothing on me. These tasks should have been fun, but what did I do? Change the half length, pit the best team against the worst, and set the game to the lowest difficulty. Even then I had to cheese a little bit and take shots from half-court to make sure I grabbed enough rebounds.

Superman Returns - In March of 2007 I put a rubber band around the right analog stick and left the game on overnight in an effort to get the Frequent Flyer achievement for flying 10,000 miles. My only justification here is that I was at least smart enough to know not to play the game long enough to accrue those miles naturally. Trust me, it's little consolation.

(20)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

News Blips:

• Kojima Productions prescribe fanboys three day case of blue balls. The folks over at 1UP apparently received a cryptic e-mail from the Metal Gear Solid makers teasing the reveal of their new game. Considering the subject line of the mysterious message reads "T-3 Days," along with a link to a not-yet-working site, one would assume we'll know in a few days. But that's only if you trust this "one." We don't -- that guy is always wrong. [1UP]

• 4 Million people eat up Cooking Mama, feel bloated. Publisher Majesco are boasting about all the delicious dough they've made off of the Cooking Mama series. Between five games, the series has sold over 4 million copies. Just think, if only PETA bought a copy, they could have made that number 4 million and one. Party poopers. [GameSpot]

• EA hates boards, but likes games; announces Hasbro Family Game Night 2 for the Wii. Just like the last game, Hasbro Family Game Night 2 is a compilation of classic Hasbro board games, perfect for those who are too lazy to grab their own boxed copies out of the closet. Our favorite inclusion is definitely Operation. Though we're curious if Hasbro ever listened to Ned's suggestions for Cavity Sam's new ailments. [Kotaku]

• Atari feels fat; decides against showing off its goods at E3. For some reason the fledgling publisher isn't presenting any games at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) this year. Well, there goes our chances of snapping a sexy shot of Atari bigwig Phil Harrison. [Kotaku]

Click the jump for some video blips, including code-free footage of the new WiiWare Contra game, a White Knight Chronicles trailer, $2,500 Xbox shoes, and...more.

(8)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Denise Kaigler showed up to our interview barefoot and...well, otherwise, professionally dressed from head to right above the ankles. And it's not just her lack of footwear that gave Nintendo of America's Vice President, Corporate Affairs her laid-back vibe: She small talked, she smiled and chuckled a lot, and she made us feel at ease.

She's almost like the Wii itself: something more casual for Nintendo's new place in this industry. But push her too hard, and her tough, former-reporter self will come out and try to put you back in your place. OK, so she wouldn't bite when asked if the iPhone is a threat to the DS platform, but we did get a chance to discuss plenty more. Where are the hardcore games? Why don't third-party title sell? And what the hell is Rock 'N' Roll Climber?

A short video of our interview is here, but read on for all the extra stuff that was left out.

(11)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

This was supposed to be a weekly column wrapping up some of our favorite posts that didn't end up on the front page. That's not going to work out, but for a best-case scenario reason -- we've already got too much good stuff. If we wait a whole week we'll be up to our surgically modified elf ears in interesting and creative articles by you guys (and the occasional gal), so we're digging out now.

In case you weren't sitting around frantically pressing F5 on the Mobfeed recently (Takahashi Meijin style), you may have missed...

Game Reviews from a 13-Year-Old 
I love this post from Dan Kercher about the notebook he recently found, which was filled with game-related ranting and raving from his 13-year-old self. "Mario talks like a 5-year-old girl, but it's still fun to jump around and stuff." Indeed. I hope he's got more where that came from, as long as it's not Luigi/Peach fanfic. Actually, I take it back, I would still read that. (Image courtesy of tolemach.)

Exclusive: Zork HD
The prolific Brett Bates submitted what may be Bitmob's first humor article, although we're pretty sure not everyone actually realized it was a joke. Those people need to play Zork more (or at least once).

Within Canon: Creating a Believable Fangame
James Murff is a bigtime Ecco the Dolphin fan. No, I mean really big. Like thinking about making a prequel big.

(8)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

He was no slouch in our company soccer games, either, but on the field he went by the substantially less awesome name Scott Augustyn.

The difference here, of course, is that the name Scott came from his parents; the name Ace came from his brain.

Augustyn was a videogame-strategy editor for the late EGM2, sister magazine to the more recently late Electronic Gaming Monthly, my ol' gig. He, like me, is part of the first generation that has grown up with a privilege previously reserved for amnesiacs, fugitives, and folks in witness-protection programs: We can rename ourselves. And while Augustyn could--and did--write books about how to whiz through role-playing games and unleash Killer Instinct combos that would last 15 minutes, I was more interested in gleaning a different kind of gaming knowledge when I first saw him input a character name 13 years ago.

(37)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

We know some language-loving fanboys will be sad about the Final Fantasy XIII news below, but it's nothing to cry about. In fact, it's something to laugh about.

News Blips:

• 360 version of Final Fantasy XIII too stupid to learn Japanese. Or, we should say, not intellectually capable enough, as Square Enix has confirmed that it's not possible to include multiple languages of its upcoming role-playing game because of the space limitations of the 360's DVD disc. PS3 users, however, will get to listen to characters yap it up in both languages due to the bloated belly of Blu-ray. Personally, we're waiting for the PS4 version so we can cast Knights of the Round in Klingon. [Kotaku]

• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 cover story makes trees cry. The new issue of Game Informer has a big feature on the new Call of Duty game for those who still enjoy reading words on paper. Craziest piece of info? You shoot things. Mind = blown! [Joystiq]

• Jerry Bruckheimer knows nothing about games, so hires people who do. The man responsible for Pirates of Caribbean hired former Microsoft and Ubisoft executives to help him create games for the production company he announced way back in 2007. Jake Gyllenhaal has also been hired to exclusively walk around the office with his shirt off for some odd reason. [Joystiq]

• Tough decision: Buy a real guitar or buy a fake one for the same amount of money. Peripheral-maker Logitech revealed a $200 Rock Band/Guitar Hero guitar for those who want to rock out like an idiot in style. To anyone who buys this, South Park has a message for you. [Kotaku]

(11)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Editor's Note: A really fascinating read about how a former bully channeled his energies into videogaming instead of his victims' faces. Take that, Jack Thompson. -Shoe

There is something extremely satisfying about a well-thrown punch. The feeling of contact between your fist and bone. The sharp snap it makes. The tinge of pain in your forearm from the shock of the impact.

I'm not talking about just hitting something. I'm describing what happens when you use everything your body has, directed through your fist, in an attempt to destroy what's on the other end. It's addictive and dangerous. Most people never really experience that. But those who do know exactly what I mean.

When I was younger, I was very familiar with that feeling. Growing up in the projects meant that when someone pushes you, you push back harder. It's a simple rule that worked amazingly well. I didn't get pushed that often, and when I did, I made sure it didn't happen again.

(16)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody:

Seems like casual games are getting hardcore respect nowadays. 'Bout time people realized how much fun it is to bake cakes, cook food, and, uh, shoot balls at rectangles.

News Blips:

• Blizzard equips former PopCap vice president for +50 casual damage. The makers of World of Warcraft hired casual bigwig Greg Canessa to, well, we're not sure yet, actually. But it will probably involve getting your mom to play WoW. Oh, wait -- your mom already plays it. Haha -- our bad! [Kotaku]

(4)

0

Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell everybody: