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Can you decipher these uninspired, misinterpreted, or just plain messed-up video-game titles?
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Editor's note: Michael is beginning to show a bit of a knack for dreaming up writing exercises that engage the community. This challenge was all about distilling one's writing down to its essentials. I think it was some famous guy that said, "Brevity is the soul of wit." I wonder who that was.... -James
I'm going to level with you guys: I was a little worried. With one week to go before the entries for The Final Cut were due, I only had two submissions -- and one of them was my sample review. I started to think that this time, I had created a challenge that was too difficult or one that wasn't well-suited to the Bitmob community. In a place that grants writers the freedom to express themselves as they see fit, a writing prompt that asks authors to continuously cut their reviews down to meet increasingly more difficult word counts is a hard sell.
Thankfully, my fears were unnecessary. Several of you decided to take part in my writing prompt, and I'm grateful for your support. You came up with some great examples of distilled prose -- examples that I'm pleased to share with the Bitmob community.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...this is The Final Cut.
The Final Cut -- Ceremony of Innocence
by Richard Moss
Richard kicks off the challenge with a bang. He chooses a very obscure game for his review. In fact, the game, Ceremony of Innocence, might not even be a game at all in the traditional sense. However, his review is definitely a review, and it gets sharper and clearer with each cut.
Editor's note: With Final Fantasy 13 out, I thought now would be a good time to revisit Brian's 12 Worlds of Final Fantasy. He kicks off with the game that launched one of the most important and beloved franchises in gaming: the original Final Fantasy. -Jason
Franchises and sequels have been a part of gaming since its very inception. When gamers grow attached to a particular title and put their money behind it, developers often feel the need to create a sequel. We've seen this occur with Pac-Man, Mario, Pokémon, and even more recent games such as Halo.
Despite each of these franchises resonating with millions of gamers, none have spawned as many titles as a certain fantasy franchise. Whether or not that's a good thing is a matter of opinion, but regardless of your take on the series, Final Fantasy has clearly won the hearts of millions of gamers during its 22-year existence.
With 13 core titles in the Final Fantasy series (with today's U.S. debut of Final Fantasy 13), Square Enix has built a juggernaut. What's even more impressive than its longevity, however, is that each title in the series is significantly different from its predecessor. Many RPG franchises are similar (at least from a gameplay standpoint) with each installment, but Final Fantasy is one of the rare exceptions.
Ever since the transition from Final Fantasy to Final Fantasy 2, Square Enix hasn't been afraid to drastically alter the series' gameplay and potentially alienate their fans. For many players, this is part of the charm of the franchise, and they return to each title expecting a wacky, albeit deep, battle system.
Differences in each installment may satisfy certain hardcore gamers' fantasies, but players also return to Final Fantasy because of familiar elements that carry over to each installment. With the name Final Fantasy, players expect to see Cid, airships, and Chocobos. If players didn't enjoy watching Zell eat hot dogs in Final Fantasy 8 or staring at a bare-chested Vaan in Final Fantasy 12, they just might find enough traditional elements to make a particular entry of the series bearable.
If you haven't heard of Final Fantasy by now, your soul will forever remain in purgatory. But those of you who're familiar with this legendary RPG series might like to know how Brian Shirk's "The 12 Worlds of Final Fantasy" will go down. Basically, the only thing you'll need to know is that 12 installments of Final Fantasy history are headed your way, so all your favorite (and detested) titles in the franchise will be equally represented. So if you're ready for this wild Chocobo ride, drop everything else you're doing and delve into the twelve worlds of Final Fantasy. This piece contains numerous spoilers.
Read more >>Editor's note: Brian argues that there is a strong connection between the public's disinterest in academic subjects -- most notably history -- and the general consensus that RPGs are a niche genre: If people don't care about their own origins, why would they care about an invented history? -James
Programmers originally designed video games as complex diversions intended for geeks, but the release of the infamous virtual paddle-battle known as Pong altered their future. With a simple Magnavox Odyssey Tennis clone, Atari shifted video games' appeal from hackers to bar patrons and soccer moms worldwide. Ever since the '70s, the indusry has seen games that have appealed to hardcore gamers or casual gamers exclusively, and sometimes titles have even appealed to both market segments.
Hundreds of games belong in each bracket, but one particular genre rarely leaves its hardcore confines. The role-playing game has typically appealed to hardcore gamers due to their tolerance for complex statistics and immersive worlds. But I've got another reason RPGs rarely reach the mainstream -- they often draw from academic subjects like history that people typically find boring.
Despite living in a complex world full of incomplete records and archaeological wonders, few people care to learn about it. Most of the Earth's nearly seven billion people see history as an amalgamation of dates and names, when really, it's about learning from our predecessors so we can improve the future.
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I think Luigi is beginning to win gaming's most famous sibling rivalry award. Not only can he jump higher, but his place serves pizzas, burgers, and kebabs [via Geekologie]:
I would never have figured Mario for a baker. Actually, this finally explains Yoshi's Cookie.
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Bizarre Creations developers Geb Talbot and Garreth Wilson join Dan Hsu, Demian Linn, and Brett Bates on this week's show, which kicks off Bitmob's "3 Great Prizes, 3 Ways to Win" giveaway.
The group recalls their favorite racing games, pit Bad Company 2 against Modern Warfare 2, suggest N64 games that need to be re-released, and discuss just how aware game reviewers need to be about other forms of media.
Have a question you want answered? Want to share some important insight with the world? E-mail the crew at letters@bitmob.com.
Click here to find out how you can get in on the "3 Great Prizes, 3 Ways to Win" giveaway.
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At the risk of being publicly flogged for making an outdated Xzibit reference, I'm happy to announce that all you folks who (I've heard) like Bitmob can now have "Bitmob in your Bitmob," as it were, on your browser.
Simply click on the links below to install a Bitmob theme on your preferred browser. Note that you'll need to be on Firefox 3.6+ to install Personas (fancy Firefox lingo for "themes") and on Chrome 3.0+ to install the theme.
Enjoy -- and I would love any feedback or suggestions for future Bitmob-related stuff!
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I can't believe we made it all the way to 30! This week's special edition features instrumental arrangements of classic video game numbers. Not surprisingly, the community picked a ton of favorites from old Square, Sega, and Nintendo titles. But hey, it goes without saying that these publishers created some of the most memorable games of all time.
Jukebox archivist Evan Killham, site moderator Lance Darnell, and contributor Bryan Glynn all chose different tunes from The Legend of Zelda series. Bitmobbers Ryan Conway and Mark Whitney keep the 16-bit era alive with two great selections from Square games. Finally, Bitmob intern Jasmine Maleficent Rea and the inimitable Alex Cronk-Young do what Nintendon't with a couple jams from Sega's salad days. And of course, a certain mustachioed plumber sneaked his way in there somewhere....
Want to wow the community with your amazing taste in music? Hit the jump to find out how to join in the fun!
Read more >>If you've ever been to a gathering of nerds, you know that they aren't necessarily the freshest-smelling types at times. Not to say that nerds don't wash at all, since I know I do and enjoy a variety of odor-eliminating products, but all it takes is one guy not showering for a while to cement a group with a weird stereotype of "unwashedness."
Well, here's an incentive to wash for the game-obsessed, convention-goer man: Atari 2600 joystick soaps, now in the refreshing scent of grape [via Technabob]:
I've never used grape soap before, so I am tempted to spend the $3 just to see if it's one of those noxious, artificial-fruit smells or if it's actually appealing. If you know someone who could use the gift of nerdy soap -- or want some for yourself -- you can place your order at eatsleepshop's Etsy store.
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This week on Hit or Miss: The industry goes flippin' nuts. Seriously, you know it was an interesting week when the word "apocalypse" was bandied and it was only slightly an exaggeration. Add to the Great Global PS3 Fail the insanity that went down at Infinity Ward, and it was as though the Great Reckoning of Our Time was finally upon us. Luckily for me, I love reckonings.
Oh, also this week: Portal 2 was announced and people were allowed to be gay on Xbox Live.
Read more >>Taco Bell is not usually known for grand and big-name toys that you might find in a McDonald's Happy Meal. All of that is about to change this week when the Bell offers these retro Atari 2600 games in their kids meals. Packaged in the style of the original 1980s boxes, the games work on PC or Mac. Alone, they'll set you back roughly $1.50 each [via Offworld]:
I think offering these blasts from the past is a conspiracy to make me feel old -- my parents paid upwards of $50 for them when I was a kid. I now imagine my daughter taking her children to the drive-thru in 20 years for a kids meal and a free 20 gig iPod.
Read more >>Being a lover of all things technological, I am never happy with the level we humans have achieved. Most of us carry little portable computers that let us do almost anything we could want in the comfort of our own home, but where is the virtual reality that was promised us since the 1990s? The Berlin Brain-Computer Interface might bring us one step closer. With this goofy-looking device strapped to your head, all you have to do is imagine hitting right and left flippers in your head, and you're playing a game of pinball [via Techeblog]:
It may not be a pair of sunglasses that transports our consciousness to a place our body can't go, but it's a start. If only it didn't involve putting on a bald cap with Christmas lights on it.
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