10 ways to make your username less sucky

EDITOR'S NOTEfrom Eduardo Moutinho

My usernames, tags, and handles are always pretty simple and easy to remember. But those who obsess over their monikers should check out these helpful tips.

Xbox Live Gamertag

We’ve all seen them -- xXx1337SN!P3RxXx, ysosrsface, SilentAssassin69, and other horrible usernames. It seems like they’re everywhere nowadays (kind of like the cursing 12-year-olds in Call of Duty multiplayer), and we can't do a whole lot about that.

We can, however, try to prevent future cases by informing people how to choose a username, and that's why I put this list together.

1) DON’T randomly mash keys because you can’t think of anything

I know this one is easy to do, but you’re going to look pretty ridiculous with a name like skdjvfs7672.

2) DO pick something unique

The best usernames are always unique -- something no one else would think of. Avoid clichés and check around the Internet before you pick. Chances are, if it’s taken, then it’s not as clever as you think.

3) DON’T put "X" or "O" around everything

Can’t get the username you want? Just put a bunch of Xs or Os around it and presto! You'll have a totally new and unique username. The Internet seems to think this way. Don’t do this. It’s not cool and too many people have already gone down this path.

4) DO spell correctly

Unless it’s part of a joke, misspellings look stupid. It should go without saying, but make sure you do a quick spell check before you hit confirm.

5) DON’T pick a dumb username for a site or service you won't regularly use

People might respect skdjvfs7672, but I don’t think anyone will take kitty0706 seriously.

6) DO pick something respectable

I’m not saying you can’t have a silly or funny name, but a man with a name like cuddlypuppies49 doesn’t exactly garner respect.

7) DON’T randomly insert capital letters

Honestly, I’m not even sure when this one started. Inserting unnecessary capital letters into your name doesn’t make you look cool. It makes you look like a kid.

Intermission

Okay, so far, these tips have all been pretty obvious. Think it through, don’t pick something stupid, be creative, etc. But these last three are slightly less obvious and just as important.

8) DO keep it clean

Look at you! You managed to fit quite a few curse words and innuendos into your name. Listen, I know some services allow anything, but please keep it clean out of respect for the people who don’t appreciate that kind of language.

9) DON’T Use 13375P3AK or large random numbers

Numbers DO NOT make your name better. Leetspeak has been used to death, and I’m still not convinced it was ever cool. And if you want to put large numbers somewhere, put them in your password.

10) DON’T sound like a fanboy (or fangirl)

Aside from guaranteed trolling, it’s not wise to pick anything that implies fanboyism just in case you switch sides. A PlayStation 3 owner will have a hard time explaining a username like XB0X36ORUL3Z.

There you have it. Follow these 10 rules, and you’ll be on your way to possessing a username that doesn’t completely suck. Who knows, you might even come up with the next great handle.

Maybe you already have a decent tag, so post your best username down in the comments!

Tags: Call of Duty

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Fox Mulder

May 09, 2012

I agree with everything except the random name rule. Sometimes a name like that adds an air of mystery to an otherwise boring troll.

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Jackson W. Ryan

First article on Bitmob, congrats!

However these are a pretty general set of rules I would think.

Also, your XBL username is Nate DaZombie.

It goes against rule 4 "spell correctly" and rule 2 "pick something unique" - I've seen a ton of zombie names. Also, you say in rule 2 that "Chances are, if it’s taken, then it’s not as unique as you thought it was". It doesn't need the 'chances are' idiom, because if it is taken, then it's not unique by definition, not chance.

Nathaniel Dziomba

May 10, 2012

Yeah, these rules are pretty general, but I see them broken so often I think it's necessary to state them anyway.

I think you missed the point of my username as well. My last name, Dziomba, is often mispronounced. One of the oddest ways I've heard it pronounced was "Da zombie". The name stuck, and it's been my username ever since. It is spelled correctly (My last name is one word, the second part of my username is one word), and it is unique because it’s actually a play on words of my name.

Also, I put the “chances are” because it’s possible that an obscure site could have the username, but not any big site or service. I don’t see why a person can’t use a name just because one pathetic site already has it taken.

I think the problem with username's is that they are subjective so having a set of rules is only to please yourself. These are rules you've written so other people's usernames don't suck to you. That point is best proved by your own XBL username - which to me seems like a mispelling of the zombie, a not at all unique concept and caused you to tell me I have missed the point of it. That's fine, but maybe you have missed the point of some usernames that don't abide by your rules too.

Username selection is different for every person, so while I also believe SilentAssassin69 is pretty bland and I personally wouldnt like it, the person that has it either a) is 12 or b) it means something to.

Usernames may 'suck' to you if they don't follow these rules, but to the person who chose it might mean something much more important. As such, I think this sort of segregates the gaming community - saying a username sucks will probably result in unnecessary prejudice towards that person. At least, that's my experience on multiplayer games. There should be no rules to naming yourself online, just do whatever you wanna do.

May 11, 2012

Yes, I suppose usernames are subjective, and there are no “rules”. But I can normally tell who thought out their username and who didn’t, and that’s what I’d like to see people do. I called them rules near the end, but I think this would be better described as a guideline. I want people to think about their choice, instead of just coming up with a "cool" name.

Callum Rakestraw

I just shortened my name to make my Internet handle. Saved me the trouble of having to come up with something new and different.

Still, these are good tips.

André Bardin

May 24, 2012

"Dracophile". Not original because it's just a word and other people use it, but original enough that most people wouldn't expect to see it as a username somewhere.

Danny Concepcion

My XBL tag is "Guy Who Rages" and PSN ID is "Madhouse_Dan." I can't say I put much thought into either of the two. The only reason I don't have numbers or x's is for clarity's sake.

Stephen De Carlo

May 25, 2012

If you google "Fuzunga", literally every result relates to me. (Well, except for some YT videos in a foreign language and some hex.rar thing I won't even pretend I understand.) Anyway, I'm pretty proud of the fact that I'm truly unique.