Every once in awhile we run into a game that is not necassarily irredeemably bad--although it very well might be--but is so poorly designed and repetitive that it is absolutely mind numbing. We have to ask ourselves "Who designed this, and for what sick purpose?" Well, there is one game that was intentionally designed for this reason, although it was never officially released...
Dear GOD.
I am referring of course to Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors, a game that was nearly completed for the Sega CD but was (fortunately?) cancelled. Included in this work of possible genius was the mini-game Desert Bus. In this portion of the game, you are required to drive from Tuscon to Vegas, and your reward is the ability to drive back...and forth. It was a trick game, designed so that you could not just tape down the accelerator button because the truck would slowly drift to the left or right, so constant monitoring was required.
A charity playthough of this title was just completed at http://desertbus.org/ where a group of gamers take shifts torturing themselves playing the game in order to raise money for Child's Play. Well, they raised a LOT this year, so they deserve some hearty congratulations.
To get to the point, my question... "What is your personal Desert Bus?". What game do you find so repetitive and sleep inducing that the only way you would want to play it is to raise money for sick children? Arcade games do not count, unfortunately.
For me personally, I would have to say Stranglehold for the Xbox 360 or Playstation 3. I made it up to the second stage with all of it's running and diving and shooting-in-a-crowd-of-doves before I started to get a little bit sick of it. However, after all that Inspector Tequila grabs on to a helicopter and you must gun down wave after wave after wave of what I think were drug dealers. After what felt like half an hour I had to put down my controller with the realization that I will never play this game again, except for the children.
Never again, John Woo. Never again.
I should mention that Strangehold is neither the most repetitive or the worst game I have ever played, not by a long shot. It is a recent example of a game that made me quite literally fall asleep in the middle of an action sequence.
In conclusion, Strangehold is my personal Desert Bus! What is yours?
Sunday, November 29, 2009
(13)
BITMOB'S SPONSOR
Comments (13)
Was I the only guy who loved every second of Stranglehold? The epic shoot-fest with constant cover switching and action-packed Michael Bay-like gameplay. It was fun to me. Environmental damage, blood and gore, and sweet abilities. That's definitely not my Desert Bus.
Personally, my Desert Bus was Metal Gear Online, for PS3. The constant camping, the fact that it has a built-in Aimbot known as "Auto-Aim", and a boring stealth action that didn't work the same as in the single-player MGS games.
Personally, my Desert Bus was Metal Gear Online, for PS3. The constant camping, the fact that it has a built-in Aimbot known as "Auto-Aim", and a boring stealth action that didn't work the same as in the single-player MGS games.
@Kevin Haha! I think I have met my opposite!
I actually really loved Metal Gear Online at first, because it did a lot of things most shooters never even attempted, and at some level it succeeded. The Snake V. Soldiers mode was a lot of fun, and the stealth actually DID work once you began to learn the mechanics. However, the Konami online "service" eventually killed it for me; although I do plan to go back again and play it one day.
Plus, it's not exactly a boring game; although you could argue it is poorly designed.
I actually really loved Metal Gear Online at first, because it did a lot of things most shooters never even attempted, and at some level it succeeded. The Snake V. Soldiers mode was a lot of fun, and the stealth actually DID work once you began to learn the mechanics. However, the Konami online "service" eventually killed it for me; although I do plan to go back again and play it one day.
Plus, it's not exactly a boring game; although you could argue it is poorly designed.
I agree with ultan on shadow of the colossus. I picked that up because it was so well recieved and once I got over the fact that it was trying to have sweeping vistas and had impressively large enemies I realized that gameplay wise it was pretty much just solving a few pattern based boss fights using trial and error...and that kind of crap bores me to tears. The iffy controls didn't help much either. It's a shame. I totally see what they were trying to do but it is just not my type of game.
Also assassin's creed. It's sort of fun just wandering around in the game but all the little side missions are just annoying enough to where when you do one it pisses you off just a little bit. Then you do another that pisses you off a little. The little annoyences drip fed to you eventually end up as the equivalent of water torture. Small repetitive agitating stimuli that come together to be one huge ordeal.
Also assassin's creed. It's sort of fun just wandering around in the game but all the little side missions are just annoying enough to where when you do one it pisses you off just a little bit. Then you do another that pisses you off a little. The little annoyences drip fed to you eventually end up as the equivalent of water torture. Small repetitive agitating stimuli that come together to be one huge ordeal.
Oh Wow.
This is literally the first thing I have written besides replies on message boards in two years since I took a hiatus on my English major.
Omar, thanks so much for including it in the spotlight. It's really an encouragement for me to continue writing casually, just for fun. I mean, there is always a sense of accomplishment finishing an a piece of writing and feeling happy with it--but knowing somebody thinks there is some minor value in what you have to say is a great boost.
Also, to the users seconding Assassin's Creed, yeah. I rented the first one just to see if the second one changed my (negative) opinion of it...Well, it did not.
If Ubisoft is willing to fund me in a "game-a-thon" to raise a few thousand for the needy, maybe I will consider playing this game again. Otherwise, oh god no.
This is literally the first thing I have written besides replies on message boards in two years since I took a hiatus on my English major.
Omar, thanks so much for including it in the spotlight. It's really an encouragement for me to continue writing casually, just for fun. I mean, there is always a sense of accomplishment finishing an a piece of writing and feeling happy with it--but knowing somebody thinks there is some minor value in what you have to say is a great boost.
Also, to the users seconding Assassin's Creed, yeah. I rented the first one just to see if the second one changed my (negative) opinion of it...Well, it did not.
If Ubisoft is willing to fund me in a "game-a-thon" to raise a few thousand for the needy, maybe I will consider playing this game again. Otherwise, oh god no.
@Daniel: you've never played Burnout.. that's a "driving game" that is hold-my-beer-and-watch-this-arific.
I don't know why, but I didn't have the same sort of hatred others had towards Assassin's Creed. I live for visceral shoot-em-ups most times, but I do like a change a pace from time to time. ODST, AC, Fallout and all of the Splinter Cell's fill this need for deliberate, strategic gameplay.
Turn based role playing games are my bus. There's just no action there for me.
I don't know why, but I didn't have the same sort of hatred others had towards Assassin's Creed. I live for visceral shoot-em-ups most times, but I do like a change a pace from time to time. ODST, AC, Fallout and all of the Splinter Cell's fill this need for deliberate, strategic gameplay.
Turn based role playing games are my bus. There's just no action there for me.
