Shy Guys are the best kept secret in the Mario universe. We have little hard evidence with regard to their true nature, giving us almost no insight as to who -- or what -- they are. But with the few clues we’ve accumulated, it is possible to speculate. This article explores six theories concerning the possible origins of these so-called enemies.

Theory 1: International mercenary-spy conglomerate

This is a leading theory that would explain the variety of abilities Shy Guys have been known to demonstrate, as well as the various time periods they have occupied. This would also explain the apparent lack of allegiance Shy Guys hold, as they have been sighted in both the Mario and Zelda universes.

An artist’s rendering of a Shy Guy field
agent infiltrating Yoshi’s Island.

If this theory is true, then hiring this undercover organization must be astonishingly difficult and covert. The only possible public call for the conglomerate’s help can be found in Diana King's 1995 single “Shy Guy.” Theorists believe that the Shy Guys found this display far too high profile, which would explain the sudden and sharp decline of Diana King’s career shortly thereafter. 

Theory 2: Enslaved Shaolin monks

This theory stems from the suite of athletic events Shy Guys are known to compete in -- perhaps as a result of coercion by their master, Bowser. Having participated in activities such as soccer, baseball, go-kart racing, tennis, and hockey (among others), Shy Guys often display tremendous versatility and incredible physical prowess.

With very similar attire and athleticism, could these
monks be the origin of the Shy Guy?

What holds this theory back is that Shy Guys, who seem so naturally talented at athletics, are also terrible when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. Proponents of this theory say that the enslaved race of Shy Guys are holding back, essentially letting Mario win. They believe his cause to be just and hope that his overthrow of Bowser will result in the freedom to return to return to their monastery.

Theory 3: Anonymous PETA Activists

Flying right in the face of our second theory, some experts posit that Shy Guys are actually an offshoot of the organization known as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), with methods similar to that of hacker group Anonymous. Displeased with Mario’s garish and cruel Tanooki, Frog, and Shell suits (as well as his gigantic, leather Kuribo's Shoe), the activists have assembled into a group known as Suitably Healthy Young Gents Undermining Your Sensationalism (or more simply, S.H.Y.G.U.Y.S.) and have organized peaceful protests across the Mushroom Kingdom. As is always the case with activists, some have taken their protests too far, attacking Mario and his "enslaved" pet dinosaur Yoshi with spears and other projectiles.

I will say that members of Anonymous have much
better masks than Shy Guys.

Check out page two for three more theories on the origins of Shy Guys!