When I was a kid things were much different. I was a bit shy, innocent, and thought the world ended and began based on the release dates of upcoming video games. The 12-year-old me had responsibilities the "now" me wishes I didn't have to worry about.

For example, I wore a one-piece-blue-pajama-outfit with bunny ears every night, kept bugs as pets, sold yard weeds to my neighbors, brought worms in the house, watched my dad watch TV, loved honeycomb cereal even though it gnarled the roof of my mouth, loved looking under rocks for creatures, swore more than my friends, believed in God, sold my sister her own clothes for money, had a waterbed, had a black PONY half shirt (it rhymed with Tony), didn't buy my own clothes, didn't pay bills, and was obsessed with Winnie Cooper.

Things were so much easier then.

Now that I'm older I have to pay all of the bills, clean my own toilet, don't have a black PONY half shirt, have to sit in traffic, don't believe in Santa (or any other mythical creature entering my place of residence in the night to drop off numerous amounts of goodies), miss my bunny eared one piece blue pajama outfit, chew sugarless gum, don't wear diapers, but oh, still base much of my life on upcoming video game releases.

I bring this up due to the fact that lately, I feel I'm living two different lives. On one hand I have my gaming buddies, the ones that I can nerd out with over Bioshock 2's release or argue about if Fallout: New Vegas will be using the V.A.T.S system they previously donned in Fallout 3. It's countered with another group of friends that have no idea what the hell I'd be talking about if I started rambling on some of this gaming industry stuff circulating in my head on an hourly basis. And believe me, I've tried.

This is sufficed to say that I can hang in just about any conversation, from politics to the last episode of 30 Rock. But most of the time, I want to talk games. The draw into a world of fiction through and into something tangible where I can literally play through another world has always evoked something magical within me.

This is why, when I opened up my "box of me" (random stuff like letters, pictures, videos, that I've kept since I was a kid) last week and found a note I had written in elementary school to myself, it hit me: I've always wanted to play video games. When most kids wanted to be firemen and doctors, I wanted to make and play games.

A Note to Self

This was an assignment I was given in school to write to the adult me. Apparently, I was not happy about writing it. I've fixed all spelling errors to make it an easier read.

Hi Tony,

So Ms. Demauro said I have to write a letter and am supposed to tell you what I like and want to be but I just want to go play kick ball outside. It is almost winter now and I got Nintendo Power yesterday in the mail and I want to try and get the high score in Contra to get into Nintendo Power. Mom said she will take a picture of the screen for me but my TV is too small! I hope you have a better TV now and like Nintendo still. I got in trouble for calling the Nintendo hotline this year do you remember? I hope I get to work at Nintendo someday cuz that would be really cool dude and I hope Coco [family dog] is still OK even though he smells now.

OK bye, Tony (I drew a little picture of my Nintendo console next to my name)

It was weird to read this letter. I wrote it, yet I didn't recognize myself in it. I've grown up and so have my friends. The passion I still have for gaming may not be as heart felt as others surrounding me in this life, but that's OK. I feel blessed. You see, I still have the same zeal and love for that one piece of me that never got severed over the long strange years ahead: Gaming.