Separator
On My Late Father, Bonding, and Turtles in Time
Nick_hair
Friday, August 13, 2010

Editor's note: Please read Nick's touching story of bonding and loss. That is all. -Brett


I'll never forget the phone call that woke me up at 5:30 a.m. on April 13, 2010. It was my mom calling from the hospital...with news that my dad had died.

Three days before my father's death, my mom took him to the hospital because he was experiencing severe pain in his body. He was a diabetic, which either caused most of his ailments -- he had many -- or magnified them. His kidneys gave him the most trouble, but a heart attack in the middle of the night caused his death.

I experienced a surreal mix of emotions in the month following my dad's passing: grief, bewilderment, acceptance...and relief. Allow me to explain.

My dad was sick for a very long time. It affected his mental well-being. As his condition worsened, he became angry, bitter, and resentful. He was in constant physical and mental agony, which caused him to lash out at my family, and my mother in particular. His attitude and behavior drained me and my family to a point where we found it absolutely unbearable to be in his presence. When my dad died, I felt relieved not only for myself and my family -- I felt relieved for him, too.

Thankfully, my relationship with my father ended on good terms. And now that I've accepted my dad's passing and come to a sense of closure, I want to share a story with you. It's a story about love, bonding, and a video game featuring a quartet of time-traveling turtles.

 

Even before my father became ill, I found it hard to emotionally connect with him. He wasn't one of those parents who you could just open up to. But I do remember one thing that brought us together on multiple occasions: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4: Turtles in Time.

For anyone younger than 20, Turtles in Time is an arcade beat-'em-up that came out for the Super Nintendo in 1992. If you can't deduce it from the title of the game, it focuses on the turtles time-traveling to kick some Foot Soldier ass.

My parents bought me Turtles in Time when I was seven years old. Naturally, I adored the game because I could play as my four favorite reptiles. But I really loved Turtles in Time because my dad and I enjoyed playing it together.

I would choose Donatello, and he would choose either Michelangelo or Raphael (sorry, Leonardo -- you're just too bland). We had a blast double-teaming Baxter Stockman, raiding the Technodrome, and pummeling pirate versions Rocksteady and Bebop (don't ask). Most of all, we loved hurling Foot Soldiers at the TV screen.


Doing this never gets old. NEVER.

How did I manage to bond with my father, a non-gamer, through a video game? Part of the reason is that Turtles in Time is just damn entertaining. It has simple but addictive gameplay, so anyone -- gamer or not -- can easily jump in and start smashing Foot Clan skulls. On a basic level, my dad and I simply had a lot of fun with the game.

But I think the main reason my dad and I loved Turtles in Time is because we actually found something we enjoyed doing together. Sure, I liked Turtles in Time because it featured my favorite heroes. But I loved Turtles in Time because I could share the experience with my dad. And I'm sure that my dad played the game because it was a way to connect with me.

No, my father and I didn't bond much. But when we were "heroes in a half shell" kicking Krang's and Shredder's asses, we connected. We beat the game only a few times, but I didn't care. As the saying goes: It's not about the end, but the journey. And the journeys I took with my dad as turtles in time are experiences that I'll never forget.

 
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Comments (9)
Img950653
August 12, 2010


Thanks very much for writing this.


Default_picture
August 12, 2010


First off I wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. I know you've heard that a million times by now from family and friends, and probably plenty of strangers. I lost my mother about 6 years ago to cancer, which she found and suffered through for 7-8 years. I know exactly what you mean by relief, though to many who have never lost someone like that they may have a hard time understanding.



Even though my dad is still alive, I too have never really been able to bond with him on a deep level; at least on one as strong as me and my mom bonded on. I did find, much like you seem to have, that there are certain games that allowed me and my dad to bond.



One of the first games that we ever actually played together was Mario Kart 64. Man my dad loved that game as much as I did, if not more. He would hang out with my and my friends and take turns passing the controllers around and just have a good old time with us. After the N64 came and went I found myself with a Dreamcast and the game Soul Calibur 2. My dad never got very good at this game and I usually had to go easy on him, but that never distracted from the many hours of fun we had playing this game together.



My dad and I are not very close at all now a days. A lot of things have been said and done since my moms passing. It would be great to find a game that he and I could bond together over again and just have some quality time together without either one of us faking enjoyment.



On a personal note, I stuggled with my mom's death for a long time. It was a tough road for me, as I was very close to her. Do not let negative memories of your father during the time of his illness effect all the positive ones.



Thanks for opening up to us, I know it can be difficult.


4540_79476034228_610804228_1674526_2221611_n
August 13, 2010


Touching story, and my condolences. I also lost my father recently, in 2008, two days before my 30th birthday. I felt the same way you did...sorrow of course, but also relief. He fought cancer for many painful years. Modern medicine is both a blessing and a curse, it keeps people alive beyond their natural means, but when you're suffering from cancer that's not necessarily a good thing. He was just stubborn and wouldn't give up and when the cancer finally took him it was like "finally".  It sounds messed up to somebody who hasn't gone through it, but it's true.   



Anyway, my dad and I never gamed together, but he loved to watch me play FPSs :)


Dan__shoe__hsu_-_square
August 13, 2010


Very sorry for your loss...and this is a great story. Thank you for sharing it!


Me
August 13, 2010


This is one of the best articles I have read on Bitmob. 


Nick_hair
August 13, 2010


Thanks for the kind words, everyone. This was an interesting article to write. I knew I wanted to talk about how my dad and I used to play Turtles in Time, but it wasn't until I started writing it that I realized how I deep I wanted to go.



Nicholas: Your story seems very similar to mine. I think it's awesome that you bonded with your dad over Mario 64 and Soul Calibur 2. I hope your relationship with your dad works out. Thanks for sharing your story.



Michael: Thanks for your condolences, and I'm glad that someone understands me when I say I feel relief over my dad's passing. You are absolutely right -- modern medicine is wonderful, but it can prolong a person's life past its natural means. In the case of my dad, he took countless medications and went to dozens of doctors. He may have lived longer that way, but I can't say that he lived happily.

100media_imag0065
August 15, 2010


Great touching story, the best I have read on this site in a long time. I am sorry for your loss. You know I think they remade this game for the 360 as a downloadable title. I can't be 100% sure but I remember watching a friend play it recently and I saw him throw the foot soldiers at the screen just like in the original. The last turtles game I played was on the NES, and it was so hard I still haven't beaten it, and I am 26.



Again this was a great refreshing read. Sometimes you need to read something like this to remind yourself that life is going to get hard, no matter what, but you can always come out on top if you just try.


Nick_hair
August 16, 2010


Ed: Thanks for the kind words, condolences, and suggestion. I actually downloaded Turtles in Time Reshelled for the 360 with the hopes that it would invoke some nostalgia. Unfortunately, it doesn't compare to the original. It kinda sucks because I haven't played the original Turtles in Time in like 12 years. I can't find the cables for my SNES, so I have to watch Youtube videos of the game to get my TiT (that's just an unfortunate acronym) fix.



And I remember the TMNT game for the NES. I think it gave me trouble, too. Then again, I was probably four or five years old when I played it.


Default_picture
August 17, 2010


Very touching story, it was such a fun game to play with co-op. Stuff like that is the reason why I hold onto my classic systems.


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