Howdy, folks! Yeah, yeah -- it's a been a while since the last episode of The Hoe Down, but this week's E3 shenanigans should hopefully make up for it. Oh, and before you ask, no booth babes were harmed in the making of this video. Though they probably wanted to harm me. And I would have liked it -- aww yeah!

Also, I want give mad props to Tracy Peterson of One Two Many for helping shoot and edit this. Without his help, y'all wouldn't have been able to see attractive woman turn me down. And that would have been a damn shame.

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Editor's Note: Aaron brings up a good point: Sometimes an ad can be so stupid that it's actually brilliant. Though looking at this ad reminds me of an ancient Wookie proverb, especially when playing against someone such as the Hulk: Just let the angry green giant win. -Michael

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Some of the Gamervision guys were hanging out in a comic shop when they came across this advertisement in the back of a comic book:

Seeing this ad sent my mind racing. The first thing I thought was that the Hulk would get frustrated with the Wii's iffy motion-sensing capabilities and -- wrist-strap be damned -- throw the Wii Remote through the television in about two seconds. Of course, I've often wanted to do the same thing, and that's when I realized that the Hulk and I really aren't that different...

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Over the past few months, I've partially returned to my former life as a localization writer/editor, completing several freelance projects that I can't talk about just yet (don't get too excited, though -- unless you're a 14-year-old girl, you're probably not the target audience for most of 'em!). But localization isn't just translating, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to give a little insight into the various types of projects I've been working on.

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Can you believe there's already been a full, 16-episode season of CO-OP? We're on a break for one, brief week to recover from E3, but that doesn't mean we can just sit around gaming!

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OK, we have a double shot of Rebel FM for you this week. First off, we have Episode 22, which some people have been known to call 120 minutes of bliss. After the jump, you can find the first episode of Game Club for Hitman: Blood Money, which covers the game's first three acts.

Rebel FM -- Episode 22

Every time we try to do a low-key short show, we seem to find weird (and non sequitur) reserves of energy. It's the usual three-man lovefest (wait) this week as Anthony Gallegos, Tyler Barber, and I (Arthur Gies) talk about how weird it is for us to love a golf game, leaks in gaming media (of which we are apparently not immune!), and end with letters. That ask about poop. May the goddess of the universe exchange Twitter followers to bestow a fatter penis.

-Arthur

Zune link

Direct Download (right click save as)

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It's not uncommon for companies to deny false facts. Especially ones spouted by the person who actually runs the company. Because, honestly, what business would be stupid enough to do that?

News Blips:

• Project Naysay: Microsoft Games call Microsoft CEO a liar. This is odd: Microsoft head honcho Steve Ballmer confirmed yesterday that his company will be releasing a new Xbox next year to help pimp its new motion-control gizmo Project Natal. Awesome! Wait, what? He's lying? Microsoft's Director of Product Management for Xbox 360 and Xbox Live Aaron Greenberg thinks so. Greenberg told Kotaku no new Xbox is in the works for next year. But...but, Ballmer is the CEO of the frickin' company. How could he lie? Hmm, can the Wii Vitality Sensor conduct a lie detector test? If so, we finally see a good use for that damn thing! [Kotaku]

• Activision Blizzard thinks people actually want to buy Modern Warfare 2. A lot of people, actually. How many? Oh, y'know, hopefully more than 3.6 million folks on the first day of sales (the current record set by Grand Theft Auto 4). To do this, the publisher is hiring bigwig ad company TBWA to help convince consumers shooting people is fun (good luck with that!). To be honest, TBWA has a lot work to do, because we've never even heard of Modern Warfare 2. Sounds like some lame Call of Duty ripoff. [gameindustry.biz]

• BioWare wouldn't mind touching a Wii. The role-playing game pros behind Mass Effect 2 told IndustryGamers they are intrigued about developing games with emotionally powerful narratives for Nintendo's console. We're down for that -- our Wii could use some stimulating stories. [IndustryGamers]

• Activision Blizzard boss tells Sony to stop sucking...or else! The biggest publisher in the world's head honcho Bobby Kotick is threatening to stop making games on the PlayStation 3 and PSP if Sony doesn't sell more hardware. Oh, that's a good business decision. No wonder this guy runs one of the biggest companies in the world. [MVC]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including over 10 minutes of God of War 3 ass-kicking, almost 20 minutes of StarCraft 2 head-scratching, a Pimptendo...and more.

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Hey Bitmobs and Bitmobbettes!

We have just released the second episode of our new show, Video Games AWESOME! Check it out and please give us feedback as we find our legs in this new format!

 Part 1 - Transition

 

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Ouch -- my head still hurts after watching this creepy live-action Punch-Out!! rap. Sure, it's a little old, but if you haven't seen this, it's worth watching simply for its ability to TKO your sanity [via Break]:

And here's a bonus Punch-Out!!-inspired clip to cleanse your palette after that mess above [via Break]:

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When community member Jeffrey Michael Grubb wrote an article this week about audiences needing to keep journalists in check, he brought up ESPN as an example of a media outlet not "writing for their readers" but rather "writing for money."

But something to consider: The two are somewhat synonymous. I have no particular loyalties to ESPN, but to defend them for a moment -- they probably cover NASCAR really heavily for the same reasons why a website or magazine (including us when we were at EGM) would cover Halo or Grand Theft Auto to death: The readers want it.

That's right, you guys asked for it. And we know you're only coming back for more.

OK, that may not apply to Bitmob's audience exactly. Based on the stuff you're writing here, you may be a little less mainstream-average than the wider EGM audience. But we read the letters. We saw the traffic numbers. We analyzed the newsstand-sales data. Our readers couldn't get enough of those AAA titles, so we increased coverage to match.

And why wouldn't we? We're only giving the readers more of what they wanted, and we'd make more money as a result. And I imagine it's exactly the same for ESPN and NASCAR. The only drawback: You may lose a small portion of the audience who doesn't want to be force-fed so much hype. Some people can only take so much Halo, GTA, NASCAR, and what the hell, I'll throw American Idol in there as well.

To give you further insight on how we do things in enthusiast gaming media, here are the top five reasons why coverage decisions get made, in order from the most legitimate to the most sketchy:

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This is pretty good, huh? E3 has put visions of amazing games in our heads, June has seen its share of solid releases already, and now it's Bitmob Mailbag time -- sometimes everything falls into place. This week, we field letters about social networking, editors as platformers, genre aversions, and Canada. So let's jump right in.

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Hey Bitmob:

I'd like to know your opinions about Facebook/Twitter on 360.

360 already has messaging/chat between players. Do people really need some kind of update fix while playing Halo?

What's next? Will Niko be walking around Liberty City and his cell phone beeps with a real tweet that says, "dood, checkz out this video on yootoobz http:blah blah blah."?

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Let's count the ways The Geekbox is like the beatbox: .... And that's it. Nope, The Geekbox, helmed by former 1UP/Computer Gaming World editor and current GameSpy editor Ryan Scott, isn't about music and rhythm (although the theme song pretty much rules); it's all about the stuff that geeks love, including comics, TV shows, sci-fi and big-explosion movies, and games. Give it a shot and see if you don't get addicted.

The Geekbox -- Episode 19 (2009-06-17)
Wherein we discuss Burn Notice episode 3×02, dig into inFamous and Prototype, express more love for Punch-Out!! and PopCap, geek out about World of Warcraft, rage on Fry’s Electronics, get excited for Drag Me to Hell and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and somehow wind up getting into a discussion about learning how to drive. Starring Ryan Scott, Karen Chu, Andrew Fitch, Greg Ford, and Ryan Higgins.
Running Time: 1h 17m 38s

Zune link

Direct Download (right click to save as)

RSS

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When game industry twitterers weren't twittering about #IranElection and showing solidarity by adding a greenish, zombie hue to their avatar pictures (that'll learn those mean ayatollahs), well, they weren't doing much else. Call it the post-E3 comedown. So here's what we got:

Game design Professor Ian Schreiber whipped out his Brawl deck, began shuffling, raised eyebrow.

Everyday Shooter creator Jonathan Mak -- indie game designer/nonsensical twitterer, or lyrics writer for Doctor Octagon?

Rough week for ex-EGM readers. First Maxim buys the subscriber list, then installs IGN's Jessica Chobot as new Quartermann.

Eat Sleep Play's David Jaffe didn't know it, but he had a hankerin' for some Manowar.

Creative Director at Ubi Montreal, Clint Hocking, is eating three more grapes tonight!

Cory Stockton rushes home from his day job as lead level designer on World of WarCraft to finally play some World of WarCraft.

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Editor's Note: I had no idea people were going after world records in annual sports games, like last year's Madden (uh...why?). Thanks to Eric Cummings for enlightening me. -Shoe

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There have been quite a few world-record gaming attempts being streamed lately, and it's starting to catch on. Twin Galaxies just posted a story on this new trend. Within the article, readers can find links to gamers' channels to get info on when to watch these attempts live at a scheduled date and time.

Many of the people that watch these attempts and join in the chat are actually world-record holders themselves and are there to support their fellow record holders. These aren't just the golden oldies of gaming either. This Friday, Patrick Scott Patterson will be attempting to take back his Madden 09 world record live via Ustream.tv at his channel PSP-TV. Why not join him and see a world-record gamer light up the computer?

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We like when news really gets to the point. Like, say, when folks ask a developer if the game they're making will come out. And they say, "Yes." News.

News Blips:

• StarCraft 2 might come out this year unless it comes out next year. The current plan of action for developer Blizzard is to release their highly anticipated real-time strategy game at the end of this year. Well, maybe -- Lead Designer Chris Sigaty says that won't happen unless the game is done. In other news: Korea is getting sick of holding its breath. [Kotaku]

• ESRB kills Left 4 Dead 2 box art creativity. Limbless hands are really disturbing, or so thinks videogames ratings board ESRB. So, the Left 4 Dead 2 box art shows a hand tucking back a couple fingers to give the illusion they're not there. Very similar to the thumb-tearing trick magicians employ to fool small children and/or idiots. Hmm, only the thumb is actually torn off on the box art. Must have been a crappy magician. [1UP]

• Modern Warfare 2 cancels multiplayer subscription idea. Call of Duty fans were freaking out the other day when a survey made the rounds asking if players would pay a subscription fee to play the game's multiplayer modes. That's hogwash! Infinity Ward agree -- the developer confirmed Modern Warfare 2's multiplayer will cost free $60. [CVG]

• Mai oh Mai: Big-boobed chick not in latest King of Fighters. You'd think developer SNK Playmore would be milking their top-heavy fan-favorite Mai in King of Fighter 12, but she's sadly not in the game. But what about DLC? Some dude named Shane Bettenhausen (who apparently does business development at publisher Ignition or something), says the company hasn't released any details on that yet. So much for fan service. [Kotaku]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer, invaders from space who never give up, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 for the NES, and...more.

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Editor's Note: If only EA would include some Command & Conquer in EA Sports Active, I think we could all live forever. -Shoe

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An interesting article popped up on Scientific American today. Its title: "Nintendo Oui: Active Video Games May Be as Healthy for Kids as Conventional Play Time." Naturally, I gave it a read.

It doesn't actually say much new. We've known Dance Dance Revolution has been a pro-weight-loss game for awhile now. Nevertheless, it was pretty exciting to see scientists come out and admit that, yes, gaming can be good for you. "Just last December, a study in Psychology and Aging found that playing strategy-type videogames can help older people retain certain cognitive skills that tend to decline with age, such as reasoning and switching between tasks," author Fran Hawthorne noted.

This is especially interesting to hear after the President, among other people, recently went on record to bemoan gaming's effect on childhood obesity.

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Yes, the cake is a lie -- we know that for a fact. But this real-life van that Offworld found sporting Portal's Aperture Science logo? Has to be real, right? Man, we hope so! Because if it is, we're totally ordering that portal gun -- hope it's on sale!

Also found via Offworld: These battered and beaten Pokémon. Ouch! Gotta take 'em all to the hospital.

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My wife turned to me, and in her cute little apology voice, she said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I never mean to do it."

She had taken all of the loot. Again.

A couple of weeks ago, I introduced my wife to Sacred 2: Fallen Angel and the realm of action-role-playing games. She plays games such as Tetris Party, Lego Star Wars, and Mario Kart Wii with me. But she's never tried anything this complicated, detailed, and, dare I say, nerdy.

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Compared to outlandish ones like Final Fantasy or Xenosaga, Bethesda's RPGs are grounded in reality...relatively speaking. Vampirism, magic, mutants, and mini-nuke launchers aside, you can pretty much relate to the people and worlds in Oblivion and Fallout 3. Strangely enough, they're kinda normal.

Maybe that's because Todd Howard is kinda normal himself. Bethesda Game Studios' game director and executive producer is a big (make that huge) Bruce Springsteen fan. He watches Friday Night Lights. And he thinks he can become Batman someday. He's an everyday guy who just happens to make epic games for a living. Epic games that feel "normal," that is.

He's our latest subject in our 21 Random Qs interview, so let's get to know...Todd Howard.

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1. What is your favorite end-of-the-world movie?

Todd Howard: 12 Monkeys.

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We wish Microsoft would let us have more freedom with our gamertags. That would make us really, really gay.

News Blips:

• Ironic: Microsoft still not happy about gay gamertags. Even though the upcoming downloadable episode Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony has a fabulous title, Microsoft is apparently still stiff with it comes to letting folks express their happiness via gaily named gamertags. Seriously, what's wrong with MasterChiefMakesMeGay? Everybody loves Spartans. [Kotaku]

• Thanks for the insight, Ubisoft: Videogames will still be expensive to make next generation. Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot is pretty smart -- he told CNBC that he predicts videogames will be more expensive to make next generation, costing upwards to $60 million. How the hell does he know that? He must be from the future.... [CNBC]

• Wii keeps full-motion video stupidity rolling. Screw, Super Mario Galaxy 2, the Wii was really made for this: All three full-motion video light-gun arcade Mad Dog McCree games are getting compiled thanks to Majesco. If you're interested (and you should be), the Mad Dog McCree Gunslinger Pack is selling for 20 bones. Now all we need is and Space Pirates and we can die happy via an overly choreographed jump off screen. [Joystiq]

• Well, it's about frickin' time: Current-gen AFL game in the works. This is amazing news -- it appears developer Big Ant Studios is making a new Australian Football League game for the 360, PS3, and PC. So good to hear! Can't wait to play it. So excited. So...wait, what the hell is Australian football? [GameSpot]

Hit the jump for some video blips, including a Dragon Quest 9 trailer sans dragons, palm-killing in Singularity, Mario bedsheets, and...more.

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